[Albion] Hat 3 security patdown 0

[Stat Brother]

For the last 3 games the contents of my pockets have been emptied into my hat, pre patdown.

The Chelsea patdown was particularly thorough, shoulders down to ankles, only missing my special place.

To date my hat has been immune to the security.

Begging the obvious question...

 

[Djmiles]

The question being why would you want to put your possessions in your hat in the first place?

 

[bobzam]

Or give away your secrets....

 

[whitelion]

If you want to get ahead get a hat....

 

[Bodian]

"What did the hat say to the scarf?" - my cracker joke from yesterday.

 

[Deleted member 2719]

Begging the obvious question...

Perhaps they don't feel a flask will fit within your hat.

 

[Weststander]

For the last 3 games the contents of my pockets have been emptied into my hat, pre patdown.

The Chelsea patdown was particularly thorough, shoulders down to ankles, only missing my special place.

To date my hat has been immune to the security.

Begging the obvious question...

Like your style

 

[Stat Brother]

The question being why would you want to put your possessions in your hat in the first place?

So I can go straight through the patdown with minimal faff.

 

[tedebear]

tape a flask to your bonce..

 

[LamieRobertson]

 

[AmexRuislip]

For the last 3 games the contents of my pockets have been emptied into my hat, pre patdown.

The Chelsea patdown was particularly thorough, shoulders down to ankles, only missing my special place.

To date my hat has been immune to the security.

Begging the obvious question...

They'll be calling it stop and starch next......

 

[Acker79]

"What did the hat say to the scarf?" - my cracker joke from yesterday.

"You hang around here, I'll go on ahead"?

 

[TheJasperCo]

Where's OP's 'special place'?

 

[Djmiles]

So I can go straight through the patdown with minimal faff.

Depends what you’re taking through I guess.

Usually with me it goes:

‘What’s that?’

‘Wallet, keys, phone’

‘OK thanks’

Seems like a faff to get it all out to put it straight back!!!

 

[bennibenj]

Where's OP's 'special place'?

his minge

 

[dazzer6666]

Usual for me....

‘What’s that in your coat pocket ?’

‘Glasses case and a torch’

‘OK’

I’ve got a leftover flare in my cupboard from a paintballing session. It’s exactly the same size as the torch.

 

[Stat Brother]

his minge

 

[tiberious]

I leave everything in my pockets.. thy feel it dont ask what it is and let me go in. As searching goes it is sh*t. I was always taught that when you search someone your mindset is they have secreted something. You could easily carry an knife of Flask into the ground... yes I know you would get banned for the flask But not a knife in a flask as where would you put your half time Bovril ?

 

[spongy]

I walked up to my usual entrance in the South today...

Steward: Hi there, you ok?
Me: good thanks, you?
Steward: where are you sitting?
Me: normal seat
Steward: are you in in S1A?
Me:??
Steward: if you want S1A you need the next entrance along
Me: I don't think I sit in S1A, I always come in here.
Steward: I think you need the next entrance.
Me: I can see the back of my seat from here just there * points at concrete where my seat is*
Steward: I think you have the wrong entrance
Me: no I don't
Steward: away fans are further round the corner.
Me: I'm not an away fan. *
Steward: can I see your ticket please?
Me: this is my entrance, you've felt me up at least twice a month for 4 years
Steward: I need to see your ticket
Me: hang on (gets wallet out)
Steward: oh ok, this is your entrance
Me: I know, i did say.....
Steward: do you mind if I search you
Me: do I have a choice
Steward: no
Me: ok. (Holds arms out)
Steward: (gropes my coat pocket)
Me: is that it?
Steward: what
Me: nothing
Steward: what do you have on you?
Me: nothing I'm supposed to have
Steward: enjoy the game
Me: hopefully