Has any one got any good/bad jokes?

[BhaRebel]

Has any one got any good/bad jokes?

Hoping we've all got the same sense of humour

 

[AmexRuislip]

What the most common owl in the UK?

 

[Everest]

What the most common owl in the UK?

One that doesn't win the play-offs?

 

[Jack Straw]

What the most common owl in the UK?

Owl Murray, the Pub Landlord?

 

[darkwolf666]

What the most common owl in the UK?

Would it be the teat owl

 

[Dick Swiveller]

Massive owl? Lesser spotted top flight owl?

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[Albion my Albion]

A lot of bad ones.

 

[Colonel Angus]

The Lewes Road / Gyratory cycle lane design is always a good one in my book.

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

Heard a good one - A Palace fan posing as a BHA fan starts a joke thread on NSC and no one laughed.

 

[NooBHA]

Scotsman and Englishman go for a piss in a pub and after finishing the Scotsman, gives it a shake, puts it away and starts to walk out of the door.

The Englishman says ''Excuse me - Where I come from, we wash our hands when we are finished''

The Scotsman relies ''Where I come from we don't piss on our hands'' and walks out the door

 

[Paul Reids Sock]

What's the difference between roast beef and pea green soup?



You can roast beef but you can't pee green soup

 

[whitelion]

What's the difference between roast beef and pea green soup?



You can roast beef but you can't pee green soup

Even after a heavy night?

 

[Dorset Seagull]

A bear and a rabbit are both having a dump beside each other in the woods. The bear asks the rabbit if being so small he gets tired of getting sh1t all over his fur. The rabbit says no as he has got used to it. So the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his arse with him.

 

[Dick Head]

Confucious say, man who go to bed with itchy arse wake up with smelly finger.

 

[Norman Potting]

A man walked into a bar. He had to go to casualty, it was an iron bar.

(C) Tommy Cooper 1960

 

[Drumstick]

Not sure but this threads a hoot.


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[Wrong-Direction]

Two monkeys sitting in a bath
The first one says "oo oo ahh ahh ahhh"
The other says "if it's that hot put some f***ing cold in!"

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[maglers]

Scotsman and Englishman go for a piss in a pub and after finishing the Scotsman, gives it a shake, puts it away and starts to walk out of the door.

The Englishman says ''Excuse me - Where I come from, we wash our hands when we are finished''

The Scotsman relies ''Where I come from we don't piss on our hands'' and walks out the door

Copyright Winston Churchill...

Young man [after seeing Churchill leave the bathroom without washing his hands]: At Eton, they taught us to wash our hands after using the toilet.
Churchill: At Harrow, they taught us not to piss on our hands.

 

[Jim Van Winkle]

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea.

 

[Lindfield by the Pond]

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea.

u
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?