Girls Jokes

[tedebear]

Emailed to me by my father of all people!!

WOMEN'S REVENGE

Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

CREATION

A man said t o his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed
says.........."HEBREWS"
God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

 

[London Calling]

2nd one made me chuckle

 

[surrey jim]

 

[Race]

2nd one made me chuckle

Me too!

 

[Lammy]

4/10

 

[Superphil]

Why do women wear make-up and purfume?

Because they're ugly and they smell.

 

[Drumstick]

Why do women wear make-up and purfume?

Because they're ugly and they smell.

Of that bloke on sfm? Got cut off for it?

 

[Brovion]

Why do women wear make-up and purfume?

Because they're ugly and they smell.

Classic! I'm going to tell my wife that one tonight!

 

[Brovion]

..... on second thoughts perhaps I'll just keep it to myself.

 

[bhaexpress]

Fred and Mabel died and were laid to rest side by side. On her headstone Fred had this put -

'Here lies Mabel, cold as usual'.

On His headstone Mabel had this put -

'Here lies Fred, stiff at last'.

 

[Superphil]

Of that bloke on sfm? Got cut off for it?

Been my favourite joke for a few years and is a great antidote for all those "men bashing" jokes about not being able to keep it up for hours, can't find the right spot, don't buy flowers, not sensitive, brain in their trousers, sports cars as penis extensions, small willies, size counts etc.

 

[Skint Gull]

Fred and Mabel died and were laid to rest side by side. On her headstone Fred had this put -

'Here lies Mabel, cold as usual'.

On His headstone Mabel had this put -

'Here lies Fred, stiff at last'.

Thats funny! Never heard it before but certainly made me laugh out loud!

 

[readingstockport]

Why do women have legs?

 

[Superphil]

To help them reach the sink

 

[Man of Harveys]

To stop them from leaving a trail like a snail?

 

[readingstockport]

And MOH wins the prize

Why are a womans vagina and arse so close together?

 

[Man of Harveys]

I actually thought that Superphil's answer was better, not to mention braver, given that his missus posts on here too.

 

[Superphil]

It's OK, she knows she has small feet to help her reach the cooker more easiliy too.

And her wedding dress was white to match the Fridge, Freezer, Washing machine and Dishwasher.

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

that just proves that girls have SHIT senses of humour


probably why they all watch FRIENDS

 

[Lammy]

And MOH wins the prize

Why are a womans vagina and arse so close together?

Well why FFS!?