[Albion] Getting an albion joke into a grooms speech

[juliant]

Hi Nsc,

Im due to get married in a few weeks and sat currently writing my speech. The wife to be has banned the Albion from all parts of the wedding, wouldnt even let me have a blue and white striped cake !

So i intend to do what most married men do and start as i intend to go on and ignore her. I want to try and get at least 1 witty albion reference in there somewhere so am turning to you for help as im not much good with these things....

Anyone done this before or got any good ones?

Cheers all

 

[maltaseagull]

Hi Nsc,

Im due to get married in a few weeks and sat currently writing my speech. The wife to be has banned the Albion from all parts of the wedding, wouldnt even let me have a blue and white striped cake !

So i intend to do what most married men do and start as i intend to go on and ignore her. I want to try and get at least 1 witty albion reference in there somewhere so am turning to you for help as im not much good with these things....

Anyone done this before or got any good ones?

Cheers all

How can you tell if an airplane is full of Albion fans?
You can still hear the whining after the engines have been shutdown.

 

[dingodan]

You stand up, you look lovingly into your misses eyes, you raise your glass...

"OLE OLE OLE OLE, BRUNO, BRUNO!"

 

[Gazwag]

"Hopefully we will last longer than Chris did"

 

[Titanic]

There is probably a going down / not going down reference somewhere, but it might depend on the audience etc...

 

[Jonesy]

"I'd like to raise a toast to a very special man who's unfortunately no longer with us."

"To Chris Hughton"

 

[Palacefinder General]

Just don't ever refer to her as 'the wife' or 'the missus' and you'll have a long and happy marriage.

 

[banjo]

You could always add, I hope my wife goes down on me as quick as Brighton did after Christmas.

 

[Biscuit]

I got married just after we got promoted to the Premier League, I included this in my speech,

"I'd like to talk to you all about my one true love. (Turns to wife). We've been through everything, the incredible highs, the testing lows, but finally we're going to the next level.. I can honestly say, being a Brighton fan has never been so much fun,"

Went down well.

 

[schmunk]

"Let's hope this marriage lasts longer than Houghton's tenure"?

"I've spent £17,000 on this wedding, and it's looking almost as much of a waste as the £17M we spent on Jahanbakhsh"? (jk, he'll come good!)

"I call my wife's legs Dunk and Duffy, because (insert punchline)..."?

 

[Gazwag]

"Andone more thing before we raise our glasses and Dunk biscuits in our tea and eat the complimentary Murray mints. I would like to thank the florists for the Button holes but don't Knock the outrageous 'aert's sitting in the fireplace, I hope they don't Burn. So as time is March ing on a Propper cheer please for my wife....."

 

[A1X]

"I promise never to go on one of Shane Duffy's big promotion nights out"

 

[Stato]

You could say in your speech that she has forbidden you from making the wedding at all about the Albion and then say things like 'I can Ward off her fears.' 'Bruno I wouldn't try to sneak anything in.', 'I still agreed to Murray her.' or 'I'm not just going to go on about the Albion: - ThereZamora sides to me than that.'

 

[Gazwag]

I call my wife's breasts Dunk and Duffy, because (insert punchline)..."?

they are solid as rocks

 

[banjo]

they are solid as rocks

 

[Pavilionaire]

My wife is not keen on football but after we're married I hope we can visit Anfield, Old Trafford, White Hart Lane and maybe she'll let me take her up the Arsenal?

 

[juliant]

I got married just after we got promoted to the Premier League, I included this in my speech,

"I'd like to talk to you all about my one true love. (Turns to wife). We've been through everything, the incredible highs, the testing lows, but finally we're going to the next level.. I can honestly say, being a Brighton fan has never been so much fun,"

Went down well.

Love this !

Appreciate all the replies , some are a little close to the mark with the audience but bravo nsc i knew you wouldnt let me down !

 

[The Clamp]

I got married just after we got promoted to the Premier League, I included this in my speech,

"I'd like to talk to you all about my one true love. (Turns to wife). We've been through everything, the incredible highs, the testing lows, but finally we're going to the next level.. I can honestly say, being a Brighton fan has never been so much fun,"

Went down well.

I think something like this is best. No obscure references, simple to remember and a solid punchline. You’ll get your Albion reference in there , it won’t dominate the whole speech and you’ll get a laugh.
Go with this.
And congrats to the OP. Have a great day!

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Maybe delegate all Albion references to the Best Man. That's what they're there for after all. Tho prob best not to start with him serenading the bride with 'He's just too GOOD for you!'

 

[happypig]

"Talking of names, Mrs Anderson*, should we someday have a son, I hope we can agree that a good name is Matthew <pause> Bruno Gaetan Shane Lewis Bernardo Dale Yves Solomon Pascal Glenn Anderson*"

*obviously change Anderson to your name.