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German Toilets



bha100

Active member
Aug 25, 2011
898
Has anyone ever been to Germany and had a crap in one of their toilets?

Just been reading about the new word in the German dictionary and ended up reading why they have very different toilets :mad:
 




big hilda

Active member
Feb 13, 2013
138
Shitstorm...check it...flush...simples
 










Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
56,729
Faversham
German toilets have a shit shelf. So you can't help but 'check' it as you toss the used paper down after it. The flush produces a mad rush of water, so if the stool is loose, stand well back.

I am told the Germans like to inspect the stool, hence the shelf. It could be for worms (schnitzel is pork) but more likely it is a slightly disinhibited (to Brit minds) interest in bodily functions.

How did we ever win the war? Easy - we shot them while they were gawping at their poo. Not a lot of people know that.
 


Cian

Well-known member
Jul 16, 2003
14,262
Dublin, Ireland
The Dutch seem to have had those toilets and then shied away from them, older hotels and an old rental apartment had them, the rest didn't. Absolute horrors to use after a heavy night.
 


pishhead

Well-known member
Jul 9, 2003
5,248
Everywhere
Germans along with a lot of eastern European countries eat a lot of raw pork (in the form of pates etc) I assume this is why they tend to have shelves!
 




skipper734

Registered ruffian
Aug 9, 2008
9,189
Curdridge
[h=1]Germany[/h]I am told that some German toilets have a shelf inside the toilet. This may sound confusing, until I reveal that your poop lands on the shelf, and then you can get up and take a good look at it to make sure everything is A-okay with your innards. Really! The good news is that evidently not everybody has such a toilet. I wonder how much you can tell from taking a look at your craps? I heard a story once that Moby (a vegan), upon hearing of the distress of a carnivorous friend of his in a stall invited him over to his stall to take a look at what a “real crap looks like”. Again, really.


german_shelf_toilet.jpg
 


MissGull

New member
Apr 1, 2013
1,994
Cleanest public toilets ever in Germany. Makes a mockery out of the fact they make you pay for skanky toilets at Victoria station.
 














The Antikythera Mechanism

The oldest known computer
NSC Patron
Aug 7, 2003
8,128
I used to work in Holland and always lined the "shelf" with toilet paper a la foil on a grill pan. This meant the creation of a log flume effect, when flushing, with minimum skiddage residue.
 


daveinprague

New member
Oct 1, 2009
12,572
Prague, Czech Republic
Had them in both my flats in Holland...shit dropping straight into water means less of a stink.....the shelf makes hanging around a no-no
 


BigGully

Well-known member
Sep 8, 2006
7,139
Strange I have lived in both Germany and Holland and I only ever saw the rather unnerving shelf design in Holland.
 






The Fifth Column

Lazy mug
Nov 30, 2010
4,140
Hangleton
Pros: Your poos are delivered silently without the depth charge effect that can alert others in the house to you having a massive dump. Also there is no splash back that shoots a drop of water up your ring piece causing you to imagine the water is infected with multiple diseases and panicking to wipe hurriedly and leaving the job unfinished.

Cons: Your silent poo is offset by an increased stinkage effect and you are left with a curled up steaming toilet python millimetres away from the place it exited and with its heady aroma being drawn up like a typhoon between your man danglies or lady garden. In addition it is particularly hazardous for those suffering from the squits!
 




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