Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊
Funniest News Item I have Ever Seen In the Argus !
- Thread starter Munchkin
- Start date
Ninja Elephant
Doctor Elephant
- Feb 16, 2009
- 18,855
Good proper journalism that. 
The beggar was bang out of order, to be fair...
The beggar was bang out of order, to be fair...
Walkers Cajun Squirrel
New member
- Mar 13, 2008
- 1,101
The court was told Fletcher, who also goes by the names Paul Cox, John Flatcher, Karl Robb and John Smith, had a string of previous convictions relating to begging and the supply of heroin.
That would be the name of a teacher at my college. Odd.
That would be the name of a teacher at my college. Odd.
Wardy
NSC's Benefits Guru
Any judge worth his salt would have wavied the fine at that point.
seagull_special
Well-known member
I asked a policeman the time the other day and he arrested me for wasting police time
Problem being that it was heard at a Magistrates' Court, so there was no judge.
Colbourne Kid
Member
- Sep 19, 2003
- 351
Don't know about funniest article but is this letter today one of the best you've seen
"I was pleased to see that Brighton & Hove 6th Form College has removed its football net for the summer.
This will prevent hedgehogs and foxes getting caught in it as they frequently do.
I witnessed a fox struggling to free itself one early morning there.
I urge all schools to adopt this practice so wildlife has a better chance of survival."
Sylvia Harwood, Old Shoreham Road
"I was pleased to see that Brighton & Hove 6th Form College has removed its football net for the summer.
This will prevent hedgehogs and foxes getting caught in it as they frequently do.
I witnessed a fox struggling to free itself one early morning there.
I urge all schools to adopt this practice so wildlife has a better chance of survival."
Sylvia Harwood, Old Shoreham Road
- Jul 7, 2003
- 47,645
For some reason, I chuckled at that too. I thought nearly all schools and clubs removed their nets between every game? Otherwise they rot, or get nicked. Anyone who's ever played parks football will surely remember having to turn up early to put the nets up, which were inevitably stored in a musty old shed along with a few broken cones, a spade for removing crap off the pitch, a lone, mouldy size 9 adidas boot, a junior cricket bat and a mystery tarpaulin.
I played football for YEARS and I can honestly say I never once saw a hedgehog caught in the goalnet (frankly, with some of the defences I played behind, any creature would have been taking its life in its hands by sheltering there, of all places).
Gully
Monkey in a seagull suit.
Next time you are there can you check whether it is indeed a rather large blue and white flag?
Lord Bracknell
On fire
It's a TOP NEWS DAY at the Argus.
What about this one?
Pig found in burning Worthing car
5:20pm Monday 27th April 2009
By Andy Chiles
A dead pig was found in the back of a burning car.
Sussex Police and investigators from the RSPCA said they had been left baffled by the bizarre incident in Worthing at 8.10am today.
The animal protection group said it was trying to track down the culprit, who could face six months in jail or a £20,000 fine if found guilty of causing unnecessary suffering to an animal.
Firefighters from Worthing Fire Station made the grisly discovery after they responded to reports of a car fire outside the Working Men's Club in Elm Grove.
The blaze, believed to be arson, was quickly extinguished and no people were hurt but the animal was dead.
An RSPCA spokeswoman last night said: "We don't know yet whether it was killed by burns or smoke inhalation or whether it had been dead before the fire. The whole situation is very bizarre."
Jason Leighton, steward of the Working Men's Club, said he had been told the pig was stolen from a farm in Littlehampton.
He said: "This has really shocked me. Unsurprisingly, we haven't had anything like it here before."
What about this one?
Pig found in burning Worthing car
5:20pm Monday 27th April 2009
By Andy Chiles
A dead pig was found in the back of a burning car.
Sussex Police and investigators from the RSPCA said they had been left baffled by the bizarre incident in Worthing at 8.10am today.
The animal protection group said it was trying to track down the culprit, who could face six months in jail or a £20,000 fine if found guilty of causing unnecessary suffering to an animal.
Firefighters from Worthing Fire Station made the grisly discovery after they responded to reports of a car fire outside the Working Men's Club in Elm Grove.
The blaze, believed to be arson, was quickly extinguished and no people were hurt but the animal was dead.
An RSPCA spokeswoman last night said: "We don't know yet whether it was killed by burns or smoke inhalation or whether it had been dead before the fire. The whole situation is very bizarre."
Jason Leighton, steward of the Working Men's Club, said he had been told the pig was stolen from a farm in Littlehampton.
He said: "This has really shocked me. Unsurprisingly, we haven't had anything like it here before."
Perhaps it was a butcher's car and the pig was long since dead and ready for cooking anyway.
- Jul 7, 2003
- 47,645
Reminds me of the Mitchell & Webb vets sketch, where they cook, er, cremate the animals. With sage & onion stuffing and a selection of seasonal vegetables.
[yt]waEryHRUEoM[/yt]
Pork scratchings round Worthing nick today then?
[yt]waEryHRUEoM[/yt]
Pork scratchings round Worthing nick today then?
Whitterz
Mmmmm? Marvellous
"Swine flu hits Worthing."
Boris Yeltsin
MR PRESIDENT to you, mate
Swine flu? Pigs might fly.
murraymints4brighton
Well-known member
what a ridiculous article, madness.
Gully
Monkey in a seagull suit.
...maybe it was someone who had been in the club and had a skinful, during the night he dreamt that he had pulled a pig...then woke up to find that it was not really a dream and torched his car to try and destroy the evidence!
