This thread reminded me of the below, which I read on the Cambridge United forum on the morning of their game vs. Oxford United on the opening day of this season. Make me laugh, plus I thought it may appeal to [MENTION=1200]Harry Wilson's tackle[/MENTION].
A mob of their chaps in Stone Island gowns was seen plotting outside the Trinity Library this morning, tooled-up with state-of-the-art digital scanners with the intention of taking the College's 14th century Arabic papyri manuscripts. Our patrol was tipped-off and ready for a row. They started coming on with all this ****ing mouth about Brasenose Senior Research Fellowships and publication in refereed journals. But when it came to addressing admissions protocols it transpired that they'd failed to apply for statutory access the minimum fourteen days in advance, and two of them had faked their identities by covering up 'Oxford Brookes University' and glueing a Keble College logo onto their lanyards. Wankers! The Custodians gave them a right slapping and run them down Magdalene Street. Old Bill come down and seized their formal hall dining invitations.
I had to read that several times, nodding knowingly the first couple of times, before it dawned on me that it was all a made up joke