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FAO: DAFT Bints - The Rules From A Male Perspective.



Trigger

Well-known member
Jul 4, 2003
40,457
Brighton
I know it's old but the old ones are the best and this is my final attempt to WIN most charming poster from the DAFT Bints!!!

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it, don't try to change that.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

5. Crying is blackmail.

6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

11. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

13. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

14. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

15. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

17. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

18. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as
rugby, football, or beer.

22. You have enough clothes.

23. You have too many shoes.

24. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

25. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, this may cause most men to have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
 




Hilton

New member
Jul 5, 2003
3,153
Norman, Oklahoma
Trigger said:
6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

:lolol:

And no. 17, and 1, and 14, and, oh hell, all of them!:lolol: :lolol: :clap2:
 














tedebear

Legal Alien
NSC Patron
Jul 7, 2003
17,100
In my computer
trigger my dear - that ain't going to work to get voted as most charming poster...you've just shot yourself in the foot!!

:lol: :lolol:
 




Marc

New member
Jul 6, 2003
25,267
Lush said:
Nowhere on there that says "you can't go mob-handed and RUN NSP".

Good.

Poor guys were quaking in their boots!

:D


yeah but we LOVED it when you did that, certainly brightened up the place!
 


Trigger

Well-known member
Jul 4, 2003
40,457
Brighton
Lush said:
Nowhere on there that says "you can't go mob-handed and RUN NSP".

Good.

Poor guys were quaking in their boots!

:D
No we didn't, i joined in with such delights as bra polls and how do u have ur downstairs hair polls.

:lolol:
 






Spicy

We're going up.
Dec 18, 2003
6,038
London
I reckon that most of what Trigger says is probably right. Here's one for the girls though.

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to
wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to
be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM."
He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning the man
woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when
he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM.
Wake up."

Men are just not equipped for these kinds of contests.
 


pasty

A different kind of pasty
Jul 5, 2003
31,023
West, West, West Sussex
Trigger said:
16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.


LOL. Always suffering from that one. Can someone please tell me what colour my other halfs cerise top is ?
 


tedebear

Legal Alien
NSC Patron
Jul 7, 2003
17,100
In my computer
Spicy said:
I reckon that most of what Trigger says is probably right. Here's one for the girls though.

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to
wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to
be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM."
He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning the man
woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when
he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM.
Wake up."

Men are just not equipped for these kinds of contests.

Thats brilliant Spicy!! Excellent :clap:
 






Gary Nelson

New member
Jul 25, 2003
1,378
Hove
Re: Re: Re: FAO: DAFT Bints - The Rules From A Male Perspective.

Lush said:
Cerise!

:clap:

Ask me a harder question.

:D

Why do you buy a topd, then spend the next 2 hours looking round other shops for the same top but at a cheaper price?!?!?!?!
 




Eddie the Seagull

New member
Jul 6, 2003
2,214
Crowborough
:lolol:

I used to also get; "Oh you're ALWAYS saying/doing that" & "Oh you NEVER say/do that"

:rolleyes:

BTW Boys don't do clothes shopping - EVER. It is not in the constitution.

:p
 








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