Falmer - Breaking news

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andybaha

Active member
Jan 3, 2007
737
Piddinghoe
Several pairs of a very rare bird have been found nesting in the hedges at Falmer on the site of the proposed new stadium.

The Red-Necked Bustard used to be common across the whole of the south of England but now it is concentrated in a small area around Falmer.

The male is stocky with a red face and bulging neck. The female is smaller and characterised by unusual moustache like whiskers. Both males and females normally exhibit an orange rosette on their chest. The Red-Necked Bustard is well known for its aggressive behavior, it is particularly aggressive towards Seagulls. It has a loud whining voice and its call is normally a 'nim-bee' sound.

A spokesperson for the RSPB said the birds were probably attracted to the area by a Falmer resident feeding them with stale doughnuts.

A spokesperson for Falmer Parish Council said this was a very significant discovery and they would be seeking to have this land designated as an Area of Scientific Interest. 'Once we have this in place, no development can take place for a period of ten years'.

A spokesperson for Brighton & Hove Albion said, 'If this were the case it looks as though Kerry Mayo will be 43 before he gets to make his Falmer debut. However I would like to reassure fans that he will remain the first choice left back throughout this time'.

The Red-Necked Bustard is closely related to the Baker Bustard, a particularly unnattractive bustard, who's habitat was recently destroyed with the building of the new bridge at Beddingham.
 














You jest.

But what if a flock of cockatiels turned up, all of them descended from an escapee called Bruce?

There is NO WAY that Albion fans would allow a stadium to be built.
 




























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