Embarrassing Moments

[Jimmy Grimble]

Yeah, you know the ones. Well, I had a right'ole one today; possibly one of my worst. Epitomising the pain social-degradation can spark.

About half-past three on this zesty December day, I was partaking in an A level History lesson. It was quite an unperturbed session as everyone eagerly anticipated the Christmas holidays; the mood was jaunty and my spirits further lifted by an essay that I had just recieved an A in, lifting a conceited smile across my face. Things were lookin' good. Life was easy. It couldn't get much better, could it? Well, yes it could. Minutes after receiving aforementioned essay I blissfully gazed out the window to nostalgically admire the arresting natural beauty of Varndean playing field, but what’s this I see? Snow. Glorious, glorious snow. Well what a day this was turning out to be: a serene lesson complimented by a successful essay, sprinkled by the delight of a potential snow-day tomorrow.

To mark such a wonderful occasion I thought, why not treat myself? Push the boat out and make the day a little more perfect, aye? So I did. I tucked my chair in a little, analysed the space behind me - weighing up the angles all in preparation to embark on some much deserved glory-basking, perfect-day-appreciating chair-swinging. All was going swimmingly; swaying back, leaning on the wall with my feet sprawled on the desk. People warn you of the dangers of doing this sort of thing, but you never listen to it do you? I mean, what damage can you actually do?

Well, now I see why people warn you. No, it may not damage you physically, but emotionally, oh-boy, it is torture. I'm sure you've guessed what happened by now. Yeah, I did it. Pushed the realms of possibility a bit too far.

Gradually my chair slipped. Slowly ebbing from it's previously sturdy position. The inevitable was happening; all respect I had was fleeting from me. Everything drifted into slow-motion. Half way down and I could hear my classmates beginning to belt roars of condescending laughter in my direction, leaping from their chairs to catch a better angle of my crushing fall from grace. Upon finally hitting the floor I was simply overwhelmed with embarrassment, and actually a little dazed from the jolt to the skull. My friend helped me up, but I could see she was holding back layer upon layer of laughter. It truly was a nightmare, and an utterly embarrassing experience. I spent the rest of lesson with my head hung in shame having been beaten by the chair-swinging God. I shall not test his power again.


Any of you got any similar (hopefully worse) humiliating experiences? Please share

 

[vegster]

A career in writing or hospital beckons.

 

[Hove&Albion F.C]

I quite enjoyed reading that, made me chuckle. I still enjoy chair tipping now and again in work. Never actually tipped too far though, yet.

Well written by the way. I thought kids of today were all meant to be fick

 

[Acker79]

There was that day was a match mascot. Before the season started all the match mascots showed up at the goldstone to have our photos taken for the match pogrammes.

That went all fine.

A couple of weeks later was my big day.

I was in the tunnel, getting nervous as the teams started to line up. Gary Chivers said hi, and the ref showed up and Gary Chivers put his hand on my back and ushered me out.

They being big burly sportsman cantered out, me being a fat kid tried to keep up.

They being familiar with the tunnel knew of the step at the end. Me, running out for the first time ever, did not.

As I came out I stumbled a little. I didn't go full over but it was apparent for the thousands in attendance that I had stumbled, resulting in a large laugh at my misfortune.

We went on to lose 3-0.


Another tale takes place much more recently. As in, this morning. Fortunately it was only witnessed by one person.

I was cycling down my road, which is a bit of a hill. The back wheel wobbled. It was very similar to a month or two back when my front wheel wobbled and I looked down and saw it had burst.

I couldn't comfortably look at my back wheel, so I decided to pull over and check it. As I moved over to the kerb, it wobbled again, an again and then just went and I fell off my bike.

A guy was just pulling out of another side road. He stopped to check I was ok - I was, no damage, but embarrassed.

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

A bird was sucking me off once then she said there's toilet paper stuck to your arse hole

 

[SeagullRic]

Yeah, you know the ones. Well, I had a right'ole one today; possibly one of my worst. Epitomising the pain social-degradation can spark.

About half-past three on this zesty December day, I was partaking in an A level History lesson. It was quite an unperturbed session as everyone eagerly anticipated the Christmas holidays; the mood was jaunty and my spirits further lifted by an essay that I had just recieved an A in, lifting a conceited smile across my face. Things were lookin' good. Life was easy. It couldn't get much better, could it? Well, yes it could. Minutes after receiving aforementioned essay I blissfully gazed out the window to nostalgically admire the arresting natural beauty of Varndean playing field, but what’s this I see? Snow. Glorious, glorious snow. Well what a day this was turning out to be: a serene lesson complimented by a successful essay, sprinkled by the delight of a potential snow-day tomorrow.

To mark such a wonderful occasion I thought, why not treat myself? Push the boat out and make the day a little more perfect, aye? So I did. I tucked my chair in a little, analysed the space behind me - weighing up the angles all in preparation to embark on some much deserved glory-basking, perfect-day-appreciating chair-swinging. All was going swimmingly; swaying back, leaning on the wall with my feet sprawled on the desk. People warn you of the dangers of doing this sort of thing, but you never listen to it do you? I mean, what damage can you actually do?

Well, now I see why people warn you. No, it may not damage you physically, but emotionally, oh-boy, it is torture. I'm sure you've guessed what happened by now. Yeah, I did it. Pushed the realms of possibility a bit too far.

Gradually my chair slipped. Slowly ebbing from it's previously sturdy position. The inevitable was happening; all respect I had was fleeting from me. Everything drifted into slow-motion. Half way down and I could hear my classmates beginning to belt roars of condescending laughter in my direction, leaping from their chairs to catch a better angle of my crushing fall from grace. Upon finally hitting the floor I was simply overwhelmed with embarrassment, and actually a little dazed from the jolt to the skull. My friend helped me up, but I could see she was holding back layer upon layer of laughter. It truly was a nightmare, and an utterly embarrassing experience. I spent the rest of lesson with my head hung in shame having been beaten by the chair-swinging God. I shall not test his power again.


Any of you got any similar (hopefully worse) humiliating experiences? Please share

 

[surrey jim]

I walked straight into the 'Duck or Grouse' sign painted on a beam In the Bent Arms pub, Lindfield many years ago, It was a busy night (possibly Christmas eve or Bonfire night). Anyways the thud knocked me right back and I fell into table of drinks spilling prety much every one of them. The whole pub went silent and as i realised what happened (whilst on the floor covered in a beer/wine/spirit mix) have never felt so self concious

 

[Wilko]

I wish my A-level students wrote as well as you. Bloody good read that, well done lad. A*.

 

[Lewes' best seagull]

I'm actually addicted to swinging on my chair. No accidents though, I'm the master. I have been done by the old 'pull the chair out as you're about to sit down'.

 

[Safe.]

I'm actually addicted to swinging on my chair. No accidents though, I'm the master. I have been done by the old 'pull the chair out as you're about to sit down'.

Classic along with the chewing gum on the seat.

 

[Fungus]

I spent the rest of lesson with my head hung in shame having been beaten by the chair-swinging God.

You should be beating Gods like that! If you'd smiled and taken a bow, someone would have started applauding.

I was in a newsagents, and took a magazine off the "top shelf". Goodness knows how they'd stacked them, but as I stood there flicking through it, the whole 10 yards of magazines fell down in slow motion, like very noisy dominoes. (I just watched, and pretended it was nothing to do with me!)

 

[Muhammad - I’m hard - Bruce Lee]

this is mine that i posted a few months ago on here......

i was working in this house today fixing this woman's microwave.
i just saw a ball rolling along the floor out the corner of my eye so i turned round and volleyed it over a footstool and off the wall into the front room.





it was only when it re-appeared after a few minutes that i noticed........there was a hamster inside, and this 'ball' was in fact an exercise thingy.

 

[Bowden91]

Conboy - the natural successor to Easy 10's throne.

 

[chimneys]

I wish my A-level students wrote as well as you. Bloody good read that, well done lad. A*.

A*-What kind of teacher are you? Presumably not an English one! He split an infinitive!!!

"I blissfully gazed out the window to nostalgically admire the arresting natural beauty of Varndean playing field".

Proof that A levels are getting easier these days!!

Still an A minus though!!!

 

[Goldstone Rapper]

A*-What kind of teacher are you? Presumably not an English one! He split an infinitive!!!

"I blissfully gazed out the window to nostalgically admire the arresting natural beauty of Varndean playing field".

Proof that A levels are getting easier these days!!

Still an A minus though!!!

"A serene lesson complimented by a successful essay, sprinkled by the delight of a potential snow-day tomorrow."

'Complemented', surely?

 

[Juan Albion]

I am surprised nobody has picked him up on his use of 'i' before 'e' even AFTER a 'c'.

 

[Gwylan]

"A serene lesson complimented by a successful essay, sprinkled by the delight of a potential snow-day tomorrow."

'Complemented', surely?

and the "Slowly ebbing from it's previously sturdy position"


Still, it was well-written, despite the spelling mistakes.


As for my own embarrassing moment, nothing will ever top my attempt at volleying a ball back into play at Priestfield. Instead of going back on the pitch, the ball skidded off my foot and went straight into face of the bloke standing next to me.

I think I had a red face for at least 30 minutes afterwards.

 

[Trufflehound]

...the ball skidded off my foot and went straight into face of the bloke standing next to me.

I think I had a red face for at least 30 minutes afterwards.

I'm guessing the bloke standing next to you did as well...

 

[Spun Cuppa]

While at Uni, I was sitting in a lecture theatre along with about 120 other students and could feel one brewing up. I thought I could 'swallow' it and let it out at break, but it just kept on. I thought of squeezing it out silently, but it was having none of it, and when it came out, it was of such a pitch, it was like a squeaker crossed with a whistler! The lecturer stopped talking, and the entire hall looked in my general direction, but I wasn't going down the embarrassment route. I just sat there stuhmm, realising they couldn't pin it on me, as there were lots of people around me! Got away with it I think

 

[blue'n'white]

I did the old "swinging on a chair" routine once when I was at school (a fair few years ago now). Bloody painful too.
A couple of matches ago at Withdean a guy who sits a few seats away from me attempted to get the ball as it bounced over the track towards us - he reached out for it, it slipped from his fingers and he reached down over the boards to get it, overbalanced in a sort of slow motion and fell on to the running track. He emerged a few seconds later holding his glasses which had been broken in to two pieces and one of the lenses looking a mite shamefaced and unable to understand why half the north stand was creased up