Does anyone have mental health problems?

[chickens]

Have often contributed to this or similar threads to help others but today I’m as flat as a pancake.

Stupid arguments at home where neither party backs down or sees reason have contributed massively over the last few days [lots of mitigants on both sides] so I know they’ll blow over but as ever that’s just the trigger I didn’t need.

Post Covid has been tough for us all but the loss of two of my most stabilising people [dad and brother in law] has been tremendously hard to take and I haven’t found a way to mourn or replace them yet and it sucks.

Having quite the wobble this evening and the world feels especially dark.

Zeberdi has provided some good links, and advice, if there’s nobody close to you that you feel like talking to, sometimes offloading to somebody who knows none of the participants is more helpful than talking to someone who already has opinions on the people involved.

The problem I have when I begin to feel a bit bleak, is that I forget that I’ve ever felt any different. I can only think that my life has always been bleak, and always will be. I know enough now to know that this is my brain lying to me, or at least only allowing me selective memory. I’ve had plenty of good times in life, and I’ve a lot of reasons to feel grateful and thankful.

Like the hurt after we fail to win at Selhurst Park, these feelings will pass. The darkness is temporary, the clouds do clear. (There’s always next season)

Sometimes it’s just a case of prioritising what you need to do to make it through to the other side of whatever’s triggering this, and other things that also seem important have to take a back seat for a bit. We are human, we have limits psychologically and emotionally as well as physically.

Hope you’re ok.

 

[Insel affe]

I hope everyone is doing ok out there with issues, remember we are a big family here in general and look out for each other, this can be a good place to ask for advise and get things off your chest, with lots of great insights and opinions about peoples struggles.

If your feeling down you are never alone.

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[pearl]

I am not in a good place right now. A friend passed away recently. Sunday I found out the partner of another friend has stage 4 terminal cancer.
I am waiting for a minor op. Just feeling what's the point.
Sorry, I know some of you have real problems to cope with, but just feel so down
Right now

 

[Biscuit Barrel]

I am not in a good place right now. A friend passed away recently. Sunday I found out the partner of another friend has stage 4 terminal cancer.
I am waiting for a minor op. Just feeling what's the point.
Sorry, I know some of you have real problems to cope with, but just feel so down
Right now

You have every right to feel down at the moment. Hope you feel better soon.

 

[Insel affe]

I am not in a good place right now. A friend passed away recently. Sunday I found out the partner of another friend has stage 4 terminal cancer.
I am waiting for a minor op. Just feeling what's the point.
Sorry, I know some of you have real problems to cope with, but just feel so down
Right now

Sorry to hear that Pearl, they are real problems never think they are not, make sure you speak to someone close if you can.
Also not telling you what to do, but a nice walk in the fresh air, away from everyone takes your mind of things sometimes looking at the natural beauty around can help, well it helps me.

Take care.

 

[Perry's Tracksuit Bottoms]

I am not in a good place right now. A friend passed away recently. Sunday I found out the partner of another friend has stage 4 terminal cancer.
I am waiting for a minor op. Just feeling what's the point.
Sorry, I know some of you have real problems to cope with, but just feel so down
Right now

These do sound like real problems and, as a very wise therapist recently pointed out to me, there is no hierarchy of pain.

Look after yourself, try and be kind to yourself and if you don't feel comfortable talking to someone close (which is very much my experience), you could consider reaching out to someone you don't know. Whether it's a counsellor, Mind's support line, Samaritans or whatever. All a quick google away. Good luck.

 

[Withdean South Stand]

I am not in a good place right now. A friend passed away recently. Sunday I found out the partner of another friend has stage 4 terminal cancer.
I am waiting for a minor op. Just feeling what's the point.
Sorry, I know some of you have real problems to cope with, but just feel so down
Right now

Thank you for posting, it took real courage and strength. I'm sorry to hear about your friend who passed and the friend with cancer. Those situations are bad enough, but to also be waiting for an op is a tough hat-trick and those are real problems and worries. I hope you've got plenty of people in your life to spend time with, whether it's a coffee or a meal or a walk or whatever you enjoy doing. Your feelings now will pass and the Albion play again this weekend!

 

[Thunder Bolt]

I am not in a good place right now. A friend passed away recently. Sunday I found out the partner of another friend has stage 4 terminal cancer.
I am waiting for a minor op. Just feeling what's the point.
Sorry, I know some of you have real problems to cope with, but just feel so down
Right now

It’s awful when bad news comes in batches, but it won’t always be like that. Feeling down is perfectly normal.
There is always something to hope for as well.
Hopefully, you have someone you can talk to.

 

[Questions]

Everybody hurts sometime. Hold on.

 

[Mellor 3 Ward 4]

I am not in a good place right now. A friend passed away recently. Sunday I found out the partner of another friend has stage 4 terminal cancer.
I am waiting for a minor op. Just feeling what's the point.
Sorry, I know some of you have real problems to cope with, but just feel so down
Right now

I am sorry to hear that you're not in a good place now.

I have no dea where you're based, but perhaps the link below will help.

https://www.westsussextalkingtherapies.nhs.uk/about-us/who-we-are

 

[Washie]

I am not in a good place right now. A friend passed away recently. Sunday I found out the partner of another friend has stage 4 terminal cancer.
I am waiting for a minor op. Just feeling what's the point.
Sorry, I know some of you have real problems to cope with, but just feel so down
Right now

Every problem is a real problem. Sounds like a difficult period. Don't ever feel bad for your low point, nor should you feel bad for reaching out and asking for help.

 

[Oh_aye]

S

I am not in a good place right now. A friend passed away recently. Sunday I found out the partner of another friend has stage 4 terminal cancer.
I am waiting for a minor op. Just feeling what's the point.
Sorry, I know some of you have real problems to cope with, but just feel so down
Right now

sorry to hear it Pearl. I hope you feel better soon. They all sound like real problems to me! Its overwhelming when lots of scary things happen together.

I Don't know your circumstances so can only talk about myself, but whenever I get hit with the glooms or brain chemicals and a nervous system that's decided to be a tricksy mistress I just have a few specific, small things that I try and remember to try and get myself back into positive credit...

Eat / consume as healthily as possible.
Bi-lateral stimulation (running or walking / swimming) anything that gets the left / right movement. But if your mobility is not good, swaying or rhythmically clicking fingers either side.
Try and get a good night's sleep
And a massive one for me - almost to medical levels as I get older - get out into nature. Even walking round a wet park, smelling the soil and trees and hearing natural sounds.
Try and say positive and sympathetic things to myself. Talk/ think to myself the way I'd communicate with someone else who needed help. With curiosity and love.
Talk to a mate. About anything. Doesn't have to be your feelings. Just human connection.
Drawing / writing - expressing myself.

I know these things sound trite, and they are hard to consider worthwhile (or even seem overwhelmingly impossible) in the moment), but they're the toolkit Ive learned to turn to over the years. Sometimes simple things help perspective.

I find one big positve change difficult. But lots of small things together help get the brain chemicals flowing back in a more positive direction.

All the best pal.

 

[Weststander]

I am not in a good place right now. A friend passed away recently. Sunday I found out the partner of another friend has stage 4 terminal cancer.
I am waiting for a minor op. Just feeling what's the point.
Sorry, I know some of you have real problems to cope with, but just feel so down
Right now

Sorry to hear that, very understandable.

I hope you’re able to feel better soon.

 

[Norman Potting]

If in East Sussex try your nearest Well Being Centre,
south down.org should get u there. I am finding them helpful. Can't recall if u need your GP to refer you or if I went directly to them.

 

[pearl]

Thank you for posting, it took real courage and strength. I'm sorry to hear about your friend who passed and the friend with cancer. Those situations are bad enough, but to also be waiting for an op is a tough hat-trick and those are real problems and worries. I hope you've got plenty of people in your life to spend time with, whether it's a coffee or a meal or a walk or whatever you enjoy doing. Your feelings now will pass and the Albion play again this weekend!

Thank you. I just feel I have spent the last few months waiting ... to see doctors, tests, results, doctors and now the op. Guess everything else has got on top of me and blanked out the positives.
Thanks again for your kind words x

 

[Swimboy64]

Sorry to hear about you being in a bad place Pearl. I have suffered for many years with mental health illness mainly Anxiety and Depression.I’ve spent a lot of years searching for the solution and I wish I could tell you some magic but I can’t. All the things suggested,nature,exercise ,diet,talking etc are all helpful to bring about temporary relief for me in my experience but long term they have never been the answer.What do I do in the dark of night when my mind won’t shut up and just keeps repeating the problems and worries most current in my life to me?Ive never been able to come up with a solution by thinking my way out of it.I don’t know if you read much but “The Power of Now” Eckhart Tolle really helped me and in it he talks about dealing with all the types of life situations that come to us all and viewing them differently to the way most folk do and how I did for years.
I was very skeptical when reading it but it was worth a try,I’ve spent enough on counselling and therapy over the years which never really made a jot of difference to how if felt only the first few hours after the session.
Maybe it will help you
I really wish you well and I like many on here know where you are
Good luck Pearl
There is hope x

 

[BBassic]

What do I do in the dark of night when my mind won’t shut up and just keeps repeating the problems and worries most current in my life to me?

This is remarkably similar to my mind except it decides to replay something stupid I said or did twenty years ago over and over.

What I've found helps is an alphabet game. It's something I learnt about as a sleep aid but it's pretty good at occupying that nagging "remember when..." part of my brain too.

Essentially - pick a five letter word with no or few repeating letters, 'brain' let's say, and then go through each letter in the word coming up with as many words as you can that begin with that letter. Once you've run out of 'B' words, move onto 'R' words and so on and then pick a new word if you get to the end.

It doesn't help with the root causes or underlying stressors or whatever but if you just want to shut your mind up and get some bloody sleep, it's pretty useful.

 

[Cheggers]

'Asking for help isn't giving up. It's refusing to give up' ― Charlie Mackesy.

I hope you feel much better soon.

 

[Swimboy64]

This is remarkably similar to my mind except it decides to replay something stupid I said or did twenty years ago over and over.

What I've found helps is an alphabet game. It's something I learnt about as a sleep aid but it's pretty good at occupying that nagging "remember when..." part of my brain too.

Essentially - pick a five letter word with no or few repeating letters, 'brain' let's say, and then go through each letter in the word coming up with as many words as you can that begin with that letter. Once you've run out of 'B' words, move onto 'R' words and so on and then pick a new word if you get to the end.

It doesn't help with the root causes or underlying stressors or whatever but if you just want to shut your mind up and get some bloody sleep, it's pretty useful.

Really useful and helpful stuff and I think it really helps to get the mind into the present moment rather than the past or future with all its regrets anxieties etc.The present moment is the trick to living with a good amount of peace and calm and that’s a great place to be whatever you’re present circumstances.
I posted on a thread a while back if anyone who struggles with mental health or living in a fast cutthroat world would like to meet up every couple of months in a group type situation so we could chat and share stuff that we do etc to help I would be glad to organise venue etc if there were enough takers DM me if you are interested
I don’t have any qualifications in the mental health area just a lot of years living with it
Cmon folks let’s give it a try

 

[Swimboy64]

Everybody hurts sometime. Hold on.

When you sure you’ve had enough