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Does anyone else TENSE UP when Eastenders is on ?



Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
62,429
Location Location
All I can hear is SHRIEKING SLAGS arguing with each other. I have my back to the TV, but this dismal pile of shite is playing out it's sorry mess behind me, and all I can hear is a load of cockney BIFFERS arguing about TURD.

I like a peaceful life. I don't like ripples in my pond. Eastenders chucks rocks in my placid pond and makes lots of ripples and I don't LIKE IT. Its like a real life blazing row in my living room. But if I BAN it, I will have a real-life punch up with the missus. Which I'd win, obviously, but it'd cause lots more ripples. Long term ones as well.

I may need to leave the room.
 








Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
62,429
Location Location
Ordinairily pub would indeed be the answer (with The Times).
But we've got a chink on the way, so I'm STUCK.

Bloody Sky+
 


Bry Nylon

Test your smoke alarm
Helpful Moderator
Jul 21, 2003
20,587
Playing snooker
Jeez, Easy - are you PSYCHIC, or sommat? I was beginning to think it's just me...

I ambled into the livingroom earlier, from the relative calm and tranquility of the kitchen, only to be VERBALLY ASSAULTED by two slags having a slanging match on my TV. Oh joy of f***ing joys - EastfuckingEnders...

It immediately ruined my Friday night karma, and I could feel myself bristling with irritation and bubbling resentment. What made it worse, was the fact that my other half was transfixed, like it was monumental drama; rather than a couple of two-bob actresses simply shouting their lines at each other. I f***ing HATE it!

After about 20 seconds I stalked off back to the kitchen, muttering to myself, switched on 5 live and opened a Stella.
 




That blond haired girl with the watered down Bromy accent is driving me nuts. Decide what voice you are going to speak in love and stop differing between an annoying im not from london but i think i am accent and the deep "go down the old country road" birmingham way of speaking.

I would rather watch Colin Hawkins dressed up in a Donkey suit scribing the weather on news 24 in hieroglyphics while Bill Turnbull smacks him in the balls with a sack of spam and dean whites TV remotes. Infact thats going under my avatar.
 


Mar 13, 2008
1,101
1 thing that annoyed me is every single person seemed to have enough money to buy that pub. They live in shitty little houses and most dont have a job. Yet they can fork out £200 odd grand to buy a pub.
 


Bry Nylon

Test your smoke alarm
Helpful Moderator
Jul 21, 2003
20,587
Playing snooker
I don't need this SHIT when I get in from a double shift.

I want to watch "Coast" on DVD, with that long-haired love child of Billy Connelly with the soothing accent and lots of scoping helicopter shots. Thank you.
 




Bry Nylon

Test your smoke alarm
Helpful Moderator
Jul 21, 2003
20,587
Playing snooker
In fact, if could be Controller of BBC1 for just ONE DAY, I'd can the show with IMMEDIATE EFFECT. f***ing mindless dross. And it seems to be on every f***ing night! How can that be fair?
 


1 thing that annoyed me is every single person seemed to have enough money to buy that pub. They live in shitty little houses and most dont have a job. Yet they can fork out £200 odd grand to buy a pub.

And how the f*** can Billy Mitchell, who at best, is a handyman earning little more than £20 quid a week be able to afford a flat in london? And why does Phil Mitchell seem to be aimlessly deflating while speaking and depressed all the time? And why does the baby Oscar Branning seem to be living on his own at the moment as you hear f*** all of him until the Hob Goblin decides to winge and wine all over his precious well-worn baby suit?
 


Juan Albion

Chicken Sniffer 3rd Class
In fact, if could be Controller of BBC1 for just ONE DAY, I'd can the show with IMMEDIATE EFFECT. f***ing mindless dross. And it seems to be on every f***ing night! How can that be fair?

I agree with all the above comments. What do women get out of watching hags shouting at each other all the time? Would Mrs Albion actually like it if I started treating her that way? Perhaps I should try it.

Anyway, the worst thing about living here is we are two or three years behind apparently, so if you do can it Bry, I will still know I have to put up with it bellowing from my lounge for that long.
 




The Large One

Who's Next?
Jul 7, 2003
52,343
97.2FM
I agree with all the above comments. What do women get out of watching hags shouting at each other all the time? Would Mrs Albion actually like it if I started treating her that way? Perhaps I should try it.

Anyway, the worst thing about living here is we are two or three years behind apparently, so if you do can it Bry, I will still know I have to put up with it bellowing from my lounge for that long.

Some ideas, I suspect...
 








Garage_Doors

Originally the Swankers
Jun 28, 2008
11,790
Brighton
I concur, have 2 females in the house who don't miss an episode, so outnumbered.
winds me up that programme.
 


pasty

A different kind of pasty
Jul 5, 2003
31,052
West, West, West Sussex
I'm slightly concerned over Peggy Mitchels impending marriage. The two blonde girls are her nieces yeah, and the bloke she is marrying is their father.

Now I have nieces, but their mother is my sister, so, and forgive me if I'm completely wrong here, but doesn't that mean she's marrying her brother? Or have I missed something here?
 




essbee

New member
Jan 5, 2005
3,656
Easy 10

I am in exactly the same position. It is utter garbage. The annoying thing
for me is that the downstaors tv is the only one that has all the channels......
the small upstairs has just the basic...which means that I miss some
top tv because I 'perish the thought' should ask her to watch that rubbish
upstairs!
 




Uncle Spielberg

Well-known member
Jul 6, 2003
43,098
Lancing
WHEN THE f*** IS THAT BLONDE GIRL GOING TO TELL RONNIE SHE IS HER MUM. HOW LONG CAN THEY DRAG THE STORY LINE OUT FOR ?, ITS ALREADY BEEN ABOUT 2 YEARS, HOW LONG ?, 5 YEARS, 10 YEARS , 50 YEARS. JUST f***ing TELL HER SHE IS YOUR MUM AND GIVE IT A f***ing REST.

THAT IS ALL :angry:
 


Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
62,429
Location Location
Its comforting to know I am not alone in this dreadful affliction.
We can go out, have an enjoyable day making the most of the weather, a nice relaxing stroll along the seafront, stop for a coffee and watch the world go by, maybe get a sneaky half in the local on the way back, then arrive home refreshed and invigorated with spirits lifted, souls replenished and emotions recharged.

Then she puts on Eastenders.

Now we have an instant window into a dull, depressing, grey, dismal little grief-pit where pointless people play out their pointless lives in the name of "drama", and we spend the next half hour (sometimes an hour), being assaulted by their petty grievances, screeching arguments, endless feuds and moronic bickering. Its like a bucket of cold water over any feelgood factor you may have had just a few minutes earlier.

Honestly, it should be banned.
 


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