Baldseagull
Well-known member
The Doctor told me he was going to insert a finger into my bottom to check my prostrate, I said can you stick two fingers up, I would like a second opinion.
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[Humour] Doctor, Doctor Jokes
- Thread starter el punal
- Start date
Shropshire Seagull
Well-known member
Man goes to doctor: "I need help, I have a strawberry stuck up my bum!"
Doctor calmly replies: "Don't worry old chap, I've got some cream for that."
Doctor calmly replies: "Don't worry old chap, I've got some cream for that."
Man ‘Doctor, doctor I feel like an ignored pack of cards’’
Doctor ‘Take a seat in the waiting room and I’ll deal with you later’
—————————————————————————
Man - ‘Doctor, doctor i feel like a German sausage skin’
Doctor - ‘My, your the wurst case I’ve ever seen’
Doctor ‘Take a seat in the waiting room and I’ll deal with you later’
—————————————————————————
Man - ‘Doctor, doctor i feel like a German sausage skin’
Doctor - ‘My, your the wurst case I’ve ever seen’
symyjym
Banned
Patient: Doctor doctor; will my prostate examination feel uncomfortable.
Doctor: No but it might cause an erection.
Patient: Why could it cause me to get an erection?
Doctor: Not you, me.
Doctor: No but it might cause an erection.
Patient: Why could it cause me to get an erection?
Doctor: Not you, me.
B-right-on
Living the dream
Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
Patient: Doctor I feel like a needle Doctor: I see your point
The doctor told my wife that she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she getting a divorce.
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
Patient: Doctor I feel like a needle Doctor: I see your point
The doctor told my wife that she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she getting a divorce.
sydney
tinky ****in winky
a man is involved in a traffic accident which renders him unconscious , when he awakes he is in a room with a doctor a nurse and his wife.......the doctor says " sir you have been in an accident and your penis has been mangled , we were unable to save it but luckily for you you had the accident right outside Australia's no 1 genital surgery facility , obviously you have some tough decisions to make so we have taken the liberty of bringing your wife in before we give you the options."
"the options are we can transplant the penis of 33 yr old scottish male onto you for 3,000 dollars , the penis of a 28 year old American serviceman for 5,000 or the penis of a 30 year old Ugandan man for 8,000.......we understand you may need a moment to decide but time is of the essence so we'll be back in a couple of minutes" and with that they
leave the room.
a couple of minutes later they doc returns and asks if they have made a decision ..." yes " says the wife......" we're getting a new kitchen".
"the options are we can transplant the penis of 33 yr old scottish male onto you for 3,000 dollars , the penis of a 28 year old American serviceman for 5,000 or the penis of a 30 year old Ugandan man for 8,000.......we understand you may need a moment to decide but time is of the essence so we'll be back in a couple of minutes" and with that they
leave the room.
a couple of minutes later they doc returns and asks if they have made a decision ..." yes " says the wife......" we're getting a new kitchen".
Raleigh Chopper
New member
Doctor! Doctor!
I can't stop wearing pants made of cling film.
Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.
I can't stop wearing pants made of cling film.
Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.
el punal
Well-known member
- Thread starter
- #28
A bloke is in the pub and an attractive girl is alongside him at the bar. They get talking and he buys her a drink. One thing leads to another and they end up at her flat for a bit of jiggy-jiggy
When they’re in bed she turns to him and asks him for a favour. What’s that he inquires. I want you to f*** me with your big toe, she replies, and so he does the dirty deed.
A couple of days later he wakes up to find his foot is throbbing and very sore. A visit to the doctor is required.
The doctor sees the young man and asks him what the problem is then examines the chap’s foot.
“ My goodness!” exclaims the doctor “ I’m afraid to say you’ve got gonorrhoea of the big toe.”
“ I don’t f***ing believe it!” protests the man.
“ Yes, it is all rather strange,” says the doc, “ I examined a young lady earlier who was suffering from athlete’s c***.
When they’re in bed she turns to him and asks him for a favour. What’s that he inquires. I want you to f*** me with your big toe, she replies, and so he does the dirty deed.
A couple of days later he wakes up to find his foot is throbbing and very sore. A visit to the doctor is required.
The doctor sees the young man and asks him what the problem is then examines the chap’s foot.
“ My goodness!” exclaims the doctor “ I’m afraid to say you’ve got gonorrhoea of the big toe.”
“ I don’t f***ing believe it!” protests the man.
“ Yes, it is all rather strange,” says the doc, “ I examined a young lady earlier who was suffering from athlete’s c***.