Do you have self-destructive tendencies?

[element]

After reaching the half-century recently, it made me reflect a bit, and looking back, I can see there have been patterns of behaviour that have been a bit cyclical, regarding employment, relationships and friendships...

Of course some have been positive, it might just be that I only think about the negative ones...

It's a bit like Groundhog Day, in that I keep falling into the same traps time and time again, and don't seem to be able to learn from my mistakes...

I'm sure there are lots of psychology theories relating to this, about some people basically being negative in outlook, rather than positive...

But as they say, with age comes experience, and I'm going to enjoy my third childhood

 

[Goldstone Rapper]

Mine is starting things that I never quite fin..........

 

[Jack Straw]

If I could give any one, one piece of "life advice", going by my own experience, it would be;
"Listen and take notice of older peoples' advice."
These people have been there and done it, so it saves you making the mistakes they made.
A couple of examples.
1. Don't get married. I did. I should have listened. Cost a fortune and heartbreak.
2. Don't smoke. I did. I should have listened. Spent a fortune on a mugs' game.
There's loads, but that's just a couple to be getting on with.
I'm as happy as a sand boy now. Maybe I'm just lucky? Always positive. What's the point of being negative? Glass half full for me.

 

[kevo]

After reaching the half-century recently, it made me reflect a bit, and looking back, I can see there have been patterns of behaviour that have been a bit cyclical, regarding employment, relationships and friendships...

Of course some have been positive, it might just be that I only think about the negative ones...

It's a bit like Groundhog Day, in that I keep falling into the same traps time and time again, and don't seem to be able to learn from my mistakes...

I'm sure there are lots of psychology theories relating to this, about some people basically being negative in outlook, rather than positive...

But as they say, with age comes experience, and I'm going to enjoy my third childhood

I know precisely what you mean. I am nearing that particular point in my life too - and realise I have made a lot of mistakes. And yes, the same patterns of behaviour have repeated themselves - tho I've found that as I've got older I have got (a little bit) wiser and learnt to take things in my stride a little bit more.

One piece of advice I think is useful (similar to Jack Straw's) - in any difficult situation think about how friends of yours who you admire and look up to would react. What would they do? You can learn a hell of a lot just by observing other people and the way they behave.

 

[Deanbha]

My problem is I have always been to spontaneous and random. Never think things or plans through properly.

 

[Chicken Runner61]

Its the old adage isn't it "youth is wasted on the young"

I think if you could go back and start again knowing what you know now .........

 

[Questions]

Life is short so go out and try everything at least once .............


Well apart from incest and hangliding that is.

 

[Questions]

My problem is I have always been to spontaneous and random. Never think things or plans through properly.

You didn,t think,that post through did you ?

 

[piersa]

Experience is everything and it can turn you a touch cynical. My favourite saying is "people never fail to disappoint me" because people are generally self serving and selfish. Decent people are hard to find, including a good wife. I was very lucky, my wife is ace generally, but I am very selective about friend because of the lack of sincerity of so many people and their ability to let you down. The friends I have are good but i do find people depressingly unreliable and insincere. Just my experience and perhaps I am becoming too cynical with age.

 

[Brixtaan]

I've got a self destruct button, a large one slap bang in the middle of my forehead. I press it the minute my wife's back is turned. Without her I would almost certainly be in the gutter.

 

[1234andcounting]

I think everyone has in some form or another. Some are deemed to be acceptable, within reason, eg excessive drinking, which, after all, when it gets to a certain point becomes very destructive, of health, relationships, finances, or my own personal failing, which is being a workaholic, only now in my mid 50s trying to wean myself off of the idea that I need to stay in the office 'til 7pm to be a "good employee". Fortunately, it hasn't cost me too much except periods of severe depression. Even so, I would probably do it all all over again as I got so much out of it.

Still, self-destructive tendencies don't appear to have done Keith Richards any harm if his autobiography is anything to go by.

 

[Falkor]

Yes very much so

 

[sydney]

Its the old adage isn't it "youth is wasted on the young"

I think if you could go back and start again knowing what you know now .........

so true .......wish i could.

 

[albion534]

I'm only 23 and and a child, who I life with all my heart and wouldn't change anything, but now I can't, I'm getting an urge to want to travel the world

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

My life has been a long series of self inflicted injuries which have hurt me and others. I didn't ever mean to f*** anyone over but managed to do so through a combination of naiveity, selfishness, addiction and cowardice.

I have learnt a hell of a lot and have addressed most of my deficiencies. The one truth in life...no one but you can sort you out.

It has made me a massive empath and am always seeing things from the point of view of others..when I was young it never bothered me what anyone else thought, now I am accused of being too far the other way. I know what I prefer.

 

[The Peanut Roaster]

Life is short so go out and try everything at least once .............


Well apart from incest and hangliding that is.

I got arrested for one, but found the other most enlightening.

I had to pay for the damage caused to someone's roof, but on the upside I got to know my sister rather better.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

I got arrested for one, but found the other most enlightening.

I had to pay for the damage caused to someone's roof, but on the upside I got to know my sister rather better.

At least someone came at visiting time eh? Why were you arrested? Did you nick someone's hang glider? Oh...hang on...

 

[Taybha]

i cant stop myself from calling a raise on my big blind

 

[snedger]

if you can find anything positive in your life, then please do not regret anything that you have ever done, 'cos without travelling through every mile of that bumpy journey you would not be where you are.
everyone can improve their behaviour - admitting it is not admitting any sort of failure - and change is not easy - I've found not being so openly aggressive and just smiling with positive intent at people has got me a long way

 

[happypig]

If in doubt, I always think "what would captain kirk do?"

Now, of you'll excuse me there's some Klingon bastards next door that I need to have a word with.