[Football] Deranged Football Dads

[Skaville]

My proudest moment as a coach was the day after the Stevie Sidwell half way line goal. My son said in the car to the game he was going to attempt the same. Having told him not to I then promised him £20 if he did score “properly”. My co-manager overheard.

Little f***er got the winner. From three yards.

My lad was in a game. Score was 5-4 to his side. They had a corner in stoppage time and packed the box. The ball got cleared and everyone charged out of the box. My lad gets the ball just inside our half and spots the keeper off his line and lobs him. Mayhem endues.

The keeper - Bruno Saltor’s lad

 

[Sirnormangall]

Id certainly agree with that, it's very rewarding,.
Fortunately i have had parents actually say "thanks for all you have done," I particularly enjoy the side you can view statistically, like having one goal scorer to start with, two years later with the same players and you have eight goal scorers.
Amazingly the superstar parents don't value that, because they want Jonnie or Jenny to score thirty or forty goals, so they can strut the side line talking about their kid all the time.

I’ve experienced similar. Re the superstar parents, over the years I’ve learned not to pander to them as they generally don’t hang around long because they’re always searching for a “better” club or coach to massage their ego

 

[Guinness Boy]

My lad was in a game. Score was 5-4 to his side. They had a corner in stoppage time and packed the box. The ball got cleared and everyone charged out of the box. My lad gets the ball just inside our half and spots the keeper off his line and lobs him. Mayhem endues.

The keeper - Bruno Saltor’s lad

Fantastic!

 

[Questions]

I remember a game when my son played where his side only had 9 players and they were playing away to the best team in the league by far. Their coach said he would take the lead and then even it up, numbers wise…. He did that, but not until they were 12-0 up. Lost 15 nil in the end.
In another game their same coach threatened to report me to the police because I mildly rebuked one of their boys who threw mud in a players face at the end of the and swore like a trooper at my son.
God they were professional

 

[BNthree]

Courtesy of this week's excelente Upshot mailshot (sports-related version of Popbitch, well worth a subscribe IMHO) where it's one of the lead items. Even mentions RDZ

Taster here...

View attachment 171637

Astounding! Sounds like sort of parent that makes a “baller” Instagram account for their kid to try and get them signed by an academy. (Hint: what gets you signed by an academy is being a good footballer, not social media).

 

[BNthree]

Courtesy of this week's excelente Upshot mailshot (sports-related version of Popbitch, well worth a subscribe IMHO) where it's one of the lead items. Even mentions RDZ

Taster here...

View attachment 171637

I found the Twitter post that screenshot is from. There’s loads more from that parent!

 

[Cheshire Cat]

Self obsessed twat.

If I make a mistake at work, I keep very quiet and hope nobody notices.

 

[jcdenton08]

One of my best friends is American, and a huge Albion fan because of yours truly.

Her kids play junior soccer in the States and she tells stories of young kids passing at the back (fannying around at the back?!) and their contribution is to yell “BOOT IT HARD”.

I would laugh but I still hear this (and have heard it) pre-Hughton…

 

[HeaviestTed]

I genuinely thought this was about Brighton

 

[Stripey808]

The poor child/children of that father, they'll grow up thinking they are shit, I should know, that was my Dad...

Yup me too! I can still hear him screaming from the touchline

 

[Iggle Piggle]

Id certainly agree with that, it's very rewarding,.
Fortunately i have had parents actually say "thanks for all you have done," I particularly enjoy the side you can view statistically, like having one goal scorer to start with, two years later with the same players and you have eight goal scorers.
Amazingly the superstar parents don't value that, because they want Jonnie or Jenny to score thirty or forty goals, so they can strut the side line talking about their kid all the time.

You are bang on the money here. The parents of the "superstar" kids have no clue about teamwork, club loyalty or anything beyond how many goals their kids get. Better off without them as they will go anyway and will be more trouble than they are worth in the long term anyway. Show pony FC are welcome to them.

 

[Jackthelad]

It reminds me of The Fast Show's competitive dad

 

[tedebear]

Yup me too! I can still hear him screaming from the touchline

My dad was my coach as well. Most shouting was in the kitchen at home.

 

[Stripey808]

My dad was my coach as well. Most shouting was in the kitchen at home.

That’s tough. Mine just used to berate me from the touch line and then not talk to me for a few days if/when I played badly!! Happy Days

 

[AlbionBro]

You are bang on the money here. The parents of the "superstar" kids have no clue about teamwork, club loyalty or anything beyond how many goals their kids get. Better off without them as they will go anyway and will be more trouble than they are worth in the long term anyway. Show pony FC are welcome to them.

I’ve experienced similar. Re the superstar parents, over the years I’ve learned not to pander to them as they generally don’t hang around long because they’re always searching for a “better” club or coach to massage their ego

Totally agree guys, in an adult world I'd get rid, but I have empathy with the poor kid for having bone head mums and dads. I also don't like hearing said superstar mum, saying I going give them a tenner if they score today, that why they won't pass when they should, I don't want any of my teams becoming one person teams, spread the confidence throughout and give as many of them as possible real involvement in every match. This is my preferred philosophy.

 

[Sheebo]

Had a few helping out at kids football. A bloke acting a cock to the Lino to the extent the game had to be stopped and everyone gather in the centre circle. Got told not to carry on by 3 dads and piped down. At the end walked up saying ‘that’s right everyone pick on the black man’ - well yes they will if the ‘black man’ is acting like a compete cock devalued racism by using that card too.

The other when I reffed and told a particularly mouthy little shit to take a throw from the correct position after giving him a lecture on respect to the ref. Then does a fouls throw which I call. Lots of parents laughed of course. One of the teams posh entitled parents shouted to the lad ‘don’t rise to it’. Oh so don’t rise to someone putting a kid in place via the rules of the game - no wonder they’re so stuck up…

Can’t bite tongue so did call both the above out unfortunately / fortunately

 

[Sirnormangall]

I remember a game when my son played where his side only had 9 players and they were playing away to the best team in the league by far. Their coach said he would take the lead and then even it up, numbers wise…. He did that, but not until they were 12-0 up. Lost 15 nil in the end.
In another game their same coach threatened to report me to the police because I mildly rebuked one of their boys who threw mud in a players face at the end of the and swore like a trooper at my son.
God they were professional

I reffed a game last year where the manager of the team that was winning 21-0 criticised me for ending the game a few minutes early. There really are some complete aholes in kids football - but let’s not forget the majority of volunteers who do a great job as best they can. Most coaches are Dads of players, so they are selected from a small gene pool.