[News] Dementia sadly claims another.....

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thedonkeycentrehalf

Moved back to wear the gloves (again)
Jul 7, 2003
9,340
Horrible disease. My old next door neighbour has this and a few months ago, her son moved her out of the house into a annex of his place so he could look after her better - she is 80 years od.

On Saturday evening she turned up on our doorstep unexpectedly as she couldn't get into her (old) house. We took her in, gave her a cuppa and called her son who came and collected her. At 11pm, the doorbell rang and our new neighbour was there. A young couple had found our old neighbour in the road not far from her new location. He was going to call the police but she told him her 'address' so they brought her back 'home' which of course was not the right place.

We had to call her son again but she refused to leave and we had to call the police and ambulance as it was a safeguarding issue as she is a danger to herself. He thought she had gone to sleep and didn't know she had somehow left the house.

Obviously there are some other issues around this incident which I won't go into here but ultimately this horrible disease had left a very confused old lady wandering the streets. It doesn't get the publicity of other conditions but affects more people than many realise.
 


dejavuatbtn

Well-known member
Aug 4, 2010
7,573
Henfield
I got power of attorney for my step dad before it set in. I got him into care on the day before lock down. I manage his affairs. he’s not sure who I am, my wife and I as a couple are a different entity, he doesn’t know what relationship he has with people on his telephone list (including his sons and grandchild) and we have a very similar telephone conversation each day. He understands that he can’t remember stuff but it’s not a great existence for him.
 


Frutos

.
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
May 3, 2006
36,298
Northumberland
Having experienced it with my grandmother, its not a condition I'd wish on my worst enemy.

I have the utmost sympathy for dementia sufferers and their loved ones.
 


A1X

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 1, 2017
20,527
Deepest, darkest Sussex
Watched it take my grandmother over the last few years of her life, just horrible the effect it had on her and everyone around her, cruel disease
 




portlock seagull

Well-known member
Jul 28, 2003
17,776
A lot of us on this thread are going to die a slow and miserable death from this, wrecking our families emotionally along the way. That’s an unfortunate fact. My old man just died from in such a fashion. I’ve watched / nursed 2 other close family with go similarly. And have another with currently. It’s crippling for family too. Breaks you. Absolutely horrendous, albeit I know with my Dad we had a rollercoaster that was somewhat beyond the norm speaking to experts. I’m making plans, should I get, to end own life. I’ve had a belly full of dementia up close and personal. It’s the cruellest most wicked illness of all, made worse by law. Could write a book on. Assisted dying must come to pass (see what I did there?!)
 


Cheeky Monkey

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2003
23,868
As posted before, currently going through it with my dad. A living death. If I could sign papers now that say take me to Dignitas if I go down the dementia road I would, no way I want my daughter going through this. Appreciate it isn't black and white though. We overprotect life in this country, and it should be an individual's right to choose.
 


MJsGhost

Oooh Matron, I'm an
NSC Patron
Jun 26, 2009
5,023
East
I got power of attorney for my step dad before it set in. I got him into care on the day before lock down. I manage his affairs. he’s not sure who I am, my wife and I as a couple are a different entity, he doesn’t know what relationship he has with people on his telephone list (including his sons and grandchild) and we have a very similar telephone conversation each day. He understands that he can’t remember stuff but it’s not a great existence for him.
Firstly, can I point out that doing what you do for your step dad is sterling work (and a largely thankless task I'd imagine). One of my grandmothers had a very slow decline and by the end, 25 years later, my granddad was still taking care of her even though she had hardly known who he was for the last 10 years or so. Hard as hell, so good on you.

Secondly, I can't help but point out the nominative determinism at play when you're having the same conversation every day... :)
 




Cowfold Seagull

Fan of the 17 bus
Apr 22, 2009
22,114
Cowfold
I honestly didn't realise that Bet Lynch was still with us.

Yes l echo every other poster, dementia is the most wicked of diseases.
 




Eeyore

Colonel Hee-Haw of Queen's Park
NSC Patron
Apr 5, 2014
25,896
I lost my mother to dementia. She was a frightened shell of a soul for the last two years. After all she had done for the world this is what it came to.
 




ozzygull

Well-known member
Oct 6, 2003
4,159
Reading
I lost my Mum last year to it. The last few days were traumatising to witness and I still have bad dreams. It devastating to watch someone you love so much, go through that.

Anyone who has a family member or freind going through it, remember to be kind to yourself as well.
 


Cheeky Monkey

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2003
23,868
This is why I don’t understand the craze for gyms etc. Far better to get old, in an unfit manner to die of a heart attack.
But bad health could result in a stroke that could bring on dementia. A series of mini strokes caused my dad's dementia, he wasn’t even aware he'd had them. His diet has never been great, never much into exercise etc.
 


Thunder Bolt

Silly old bat
But bad health could result in a stroke that could bring on dementia. A series of mini strokes caused my dad's dementia, he wasn’t even aware he'd had them. His diet has never been great, never much into exercise etc.
There are over 100 different forms of dementia. Strokes are one cause, as is vascular dementia.
Two are known to be fatal, ie Picks Disease (formerly known as Frontal Lobe Dementia) which always starts before 65, and kills within 5-7 years, and Alzheimer’s.

My mother’s was caused by her skull shrinking and pressing on the back of her brain.

The problem is the more we eliminate disease, the more likely we are to get older and susceptible to dementia.
 




dejavuatbtn

Well-known member
Aug 4, 2010
7,573
Henfield
Firstly, can I point out that doing what you do for your step dad is sterling work (and a largely thankless task I'd imagine). One of my grandmothers had a very slow decline and by the end, 25 years later, my granddad was still taking care of her even though she had hardly known who he was for the last 10 years or so. Hard as hell, so good on you.

Secondly, I can't help but point out the nominative determinism at play when you're having the same conversation every day... :)
Wow, good on him.
I had my nom de plume well before this all started, but it’s nevertheless appropriate!
Unfortunately discussion revolves around him asking the same questions each day and a mixture of him not understanding my reply or unable to hear/comprehend it. 🤷🏻‍♂️
 




Wrong-Direction

Well-known member
Mar 10, 2013
13,631
This is why I don’t understand the craze for gyms etc. Far better to get old, in an unfit manner to die of a heart attack.
My misses dad died of heart attack a few years ago, he was 55, turns out 10 years prior he was told he had a dodgy ticker, he carried on drinking and smoking until the end
 


Drebin

Well-known member
Jul 25, 2011
860
Norway
Lost the old man to Lewey Body four years ago. Absolute bastard of an illness. Sometimes if you don’t laugh, you cry. Found myself having to convince him the van that pulled up outside the house wasn’t the train to London.
 




MJsGhost

Oooh Matron, I'm an
NSC Patron
Jun 26, 2009
5,023
East
Wow, good on him.
I had my nom de plume well before this all started, but it’s nevertheless appropriate!
Unfortunately discussion revolves around him asking the same questions each day and a mixture of him not understanding my reply or unable to hear/comprehend it. 🤷🏻‍♂️
He was a saint.

As is anyone providing the care for a loved one in a similar situation
 


Thunder Bolt

Silly old bat
Dad had dementia, horrible disease. eventually did alone during the pandemic, of covid, due to the care home lockdowns :(
My mother in law was in a care home due to dementia (vascular) but died of sepsis. It was November 2020. Due to her having dementia, she was allowed one relative, my sister in law, with her as she died. My husband and his brother weren’t allowed to say goodbye, so we know how you feel. It’s appalling and made worse by the restrictions at the time.
 


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