Dead duck

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As
she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his
stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet
shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles,
has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed,
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied
the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she
protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or
something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned
around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later
with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from
top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and
shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the
head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he
returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also
delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat
back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the
woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most
definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!" she
cried, "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it,
the bill would have been £20 but with the Lab Report and the
Cat Scan, it's now £150."


Sorry!

 

[Puppet Master]

Surely a qualified vet would know it's dead right from the off. Also I've never heard of using dogs and cats as equipment of this kind before, surely with modern technology they'd have proper medical devices.

 

[Stumpy Tim]

You would think the lack of a heartbeat would be enough to know it's dead. However hysterical the woman is, surely she would understand that.

Also, the vet would have to give prices of the Lab report and Cat scan before proceeding. Shoddy work at best, and perhaps illegal practice.

 

[Dr. Notthenineo'clocknews]

Surely a qualified vet would know it's dead right from the off. Also I've never heard of using dogs and cats as equipment of this kind before, surely with modern technology they'd have proper medical devices.

You can say that but I watched this fly on the wall documentary about a vets the other night and the vet was trying to bring a cat back to life and it turned out to be his assistants hat, I'm surprised they showed it really as it must reflect badly on the practice

 

[Diablo]

You would think the lack of a heartbeat would be enough to know it's dead. However hysterical the woman is, surely she would understand that.

Also, the vet would have to give prices of the Lab report and Cat scan before proceeding. Shoddy work at best, and perhaps illegal practice.

Don`t think you need to bring ill Eagle into this practice,it will cost you

 

[Simster]

Additionally, the cat scan was perhaps unnecessary. Who's to say the duck owner wouldn't have been satisfied with the results of the lab report, thereby saving her at least half of that additional £150 she spent. Shoddy.

 

[Billy the Fish]

Sorry, but I don't believe that happened. Was this in the Daily Mail?

 

[Dr. Notthenineo'clocknews]

Sorry, but I don't believe that happened. Was this in the Daily Mail?

No, it was a similar story last week about 20,000 illegal immigrants bringing dead ducks into a vets in a Kent village...

 

[rool]

. Shoddy work at best, and perhaps illegal practice.

What hourly rate were the dog and cat working at? I mean £20 for a fully qualified vet is very reasonable but £130 for the animals seems a bit steep. I'd like to know what their qualifications are.

 

[Goldstone1976]

I don't know why the woman took the duck to the vet in the first place. If it was limp, as reported, presumably rigor mortis had passed. There would have been blood pooling and quite probably lividity would have set in. Who could possibly miss those signs of death? No, I think the woman was running a scam - she was casing the vet's joint out for theft of expensive equipment. Rookie mistake by the vet.

 

[Icy Gull]

I find it hard to believe that the vet's fees were only £20 whilst the cat and lab fees were £65 each. I suggest the vet was lying about the make up of the bill.

Edit, it seems Rool had already spotted these shenanigans

 

[Diablo]

What hourly rate were the dog and cat working at? I mean £20 for a fully qualified vet is very reasonable but £130 for the animals seems a bit steep. I'd like to know what their qualifications are.

you`re joking Cat scan £350 and imagine Lab report several hundred. prob a bargain.

 

[Withdean11]

A labrador is a retriever, bred for fetching Ducks not sniffing them. For that reason, i suspect the story is made up.

 

[rool]

you`re joking Cat scan £350 and imagine Lab report several hundred. prob a bargain.

I'm sorry but I don't think he was a genuine vet. Sounds like quackery to me.

 

[Prince Monolulu]

Was unaware that CAT Scans were used for such purposes.

 

[dazzer6666]

Wouldn't get a lab report and a CAT scan for £150. You get charged that much for breathing the air in a vet's waiting room and saying hello to the receptionist.

 

[Mellotron]

Surely a qualified vet would know it's dead right from the off. Also I've never heard of using dogs and cats as equipment of this kind before, surely with modern technology they'd have proper medical devices.

Agreed. I call bullshit on this whole story.

 

[daveinprague]

On the plus side. Duck breast, dumplings and red cabbage!

 

[Flex Your Head]

The vet knew the duck's name without asking? Allied with communicating with animals, I suspect witchcraft.

 

[Mackenzie]

You'd be better off paying the dog with a tennis ball or something similar and the cat with a piece of wool, what on earth would they do with the cash? Unless it's Harry Redknapps dog of course.

Still good work if you can get it.