Crap jobs

[Theatre of Trees]

What is the worst job you have ever done?

I once worked at an old people's home where part of the job remit was to clean the bodies of the recently deceased before the undertaker arrived. Not fun when you realise that the moment you die your bowels and bladder relax and empty their contents. Any other undigested food comes straight back up again.

 

[Marc]

my current one is just plain crap but my worst was working in a chemical factory on shoreham beach, after a while I could feel my brain melting!

 

[MattBackHome]

For the Labour Party, collecting information on how Forest of Dean residents viewed the Governments handling of Foot and Mouth - not surprisingly the backwards bumpkins were less than polite, whist extremely forthcoming with their abuse.

That or selling f***ing electricity.

 

[Braders]

my one at the moment

its only to cover me through college luckily , then i'm outta there

 

[Muzzman]

Debt Councillor.. trying to talk stupid people out of killing themselves just because they wouldn't cancel their Sky subscription fee to be able to save that little bit extra that would put them on the right track.. One woman I spoke to burst into tears when I suggested this bawling.. "How am I gonna keep my kids quiet if I cancel sky!".. I kid you not.

I think she came from Croydon come to think of it.

 

[B.M.F]

I worked for a precision engineering company for about 5 years. the job would have been ok if it was not for the directors. they did not give you the time of day, treated you like crap. covered ther own arses and made staff members scapegoats. one bloke lost his finger in a machine as the safety keys were taken off to speed up the process. the director then tore the page out if the medical book ( that I personally filled in ) and wrote a different story to stop themselves from being closed down.


i will not mention the name as could probaly get the board closed down for libel but it is the gospel truth. they are th biggest bunch of twats going. Moggy DBS and Chez will know who i am talking about as they have all also worked there in the past

 

[Man of Harveys]

McDonalds, Western Road, about 1986. Part-time. Before they redesigned the uniforms.

Commuting and normal office life do, of course, have their drawbacks. But they're a perfume-scented harem compared to traipsing around Western Road on a Saturday afternoon whilst wearing a paper hat that turns your hair entirely conical after ten minutes, brown plastic flairs and a grubby, onion-smelling anorak with "litter patrol" written on the back.

 

[Simster]

Definitely my last contract at Credit Suisse. f***ing boring.

 

[Kylies Stunt Arse]

Worst job I ever had?

Retrieving lobsters from Jayne Mansfield's arse.

 

[REDLAND]

Picking gooseberrys, hurts like f*** if you forget ya gloves !!

 

[beorhthelm]

i had a rather dull job once. I worked at a factory that made food, in this case quiche. My job was to move the quiche off one conveyor belt on to another. Then after 2 1/2 hours i had a break before going back to the conveyor belt for a couple of hours. Lunch was a highlight, 30 minutes of eating a sandwich surrounded by inbreds and green cards that thought i had one of the cushie jobs. Then an afternoon of more conveyor belt joy.

MY BRAIN WAS SEEPING OUT WITH BOREDOM.

 

[alan partridge]

McDonalds, Western Road, about 1986. Part-time. Before they redesigned the uniforms.

Commuting and normal office life do, of course, have their drawbacks. But they're a perfume-scented harem compared to traipsing around Western Road on a Saturday afternoon whilst wearing a paper hat that turns your hair entirely conical after ten minutes, brown plastic flairs and a grubby, onion-smelling anorak with "litter patrol" written on the back.

very very funny

 

[Hungry Joe.]

As a poor student I cleaned the Primary floor at SAFT (the car battery people) on Lancing Industrial Estate where they made the nasty things. Loads of carbon and battery acid and people in a trance looking like they'd come out of a coal mine listening to Radio 1 at horrendous volume. Wasn't helped by the supervisor being a twisted student-hater who used to go around after I'd cleaned dropping more crap and then dragging me back telling me I hadn't done it properly.

 

[caz99]

when i was at college i used to work part time in the laundry room of an old peoples home in worthing. yup you guessed i spent most of the time cleaning skiddy at the best and full at the worst knickers. old people seem to have a lot in common with babies ie runny green shit

not the best job in the world when you have raging hangover and get to work and all you can smell is shit. i used to have the smell of it ingrained in my nose i am sure, took me hours to get rid of the smell after i left the place each day.

 

[Dr Q]

Worked at SAFT as a student also, which was pretty bad (know what you mean about the student hating staff there), but not as crap as the following summer I spent making Colostomy bags at the medical factory round the corner!

 

[alan partridge]

come to think of it, I used to clean at Primark in Western Road for a bit when I was a student. Used to buff the aisle down the middle. Used to go in really wrecked sometimes. Two girls asked me if I was drunk once (which I wasn't....very strong skunk) which I strenuosly denied. Didn't do myself any favours though when I left out the back through the gate big enough for cars to go through. I walked straight into the wall at the side instead of the gap in the middle with the aforementioned girls looking on

 

[CHAPPERS]

when i was at college i used to work part time in the laundry room of an old peoples home in worthing. yup you guessed i spent most of the time cleaning skiddy at the best and full at the worst knickers. old people seem to have a lot in common with babies ie runny green shit

not the best job in the world when you have raging hangover and get to work and all you can smell is shit. i used to have the smell of it ingrained in my nose i am sure, took me hours to get rid of the smell after i left the place each day.

Go on, beat THAT.

 

[fatboy]

. old people seem to have a lot in common with babies ie runny green shit .

I shouldn't have read that while eating!

 

[CHAPPERS]

I shouldn't have read that while eating!

Why? Has it put you off your runny green shit bagel?

 

[caz99]

Why? Has it put you off your runny green shit bagel?