Commuting

[Beach Hut]

I only got the option about 5 years or so ago when promoted.

BHAExpress - when the RPI does the ticket check and the chav says where does it say 1st class the standard - there, there, there, there etc is usually very amusing !

 

[Billy the Fish]

I know a lot of us do it but it never ceases to unimpress me some of the stupidity I and I'm sure plenty of others see daily.

1) Why does sitting on a public transport seat make some men's testicles swell to the point they have to use up your space ?

2) Why do very fat people pay the same as the rest of us when they take up twice as much space ?

That really annoys me, it especially bad on the FCC trains. When someone next to me is taking up half of the seat i'm in and makes no effort to budge up I just sit right up against them and when the train moves from side to side I let my weight shift with it so I'm banging into them the whole time. Most people budge up but one fat bastard once put up with this all the way from Haywards Heath to Croydon

 

[Easy 10]

That really annoys me, it especially bad on the FCC trains. When someone next to me is taking up half of the seat i'm in and makes no effort to budge up I just sit right up against them and when the train moves from side to side I let my weight shift with it so I'm banging into them the whole time. Most people budge up but one fat bastard once put up with this all the way from Haywards Heath to Croydon

I bet he loved every minute of it

 

[Man of Harveys]

I bet he loved every minute of it

Yes, yes I did

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Commuting is one of the biggest waste of times I have ever known.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

The more you think about it, the more disgusting commuting scenarios you recall. Like the snorer. Usually fat. Normally starts about Haywards Heath, soon as he gets on the train. Snores all the way to London while all around wish him a truly horrible death. Then there's the sleeper who - bleurgh! - attempts to let his head rest comfily on your shoulder like you were an ITEM or something. I mean, f***. Right. OFF. And sometimes you get the dream double, the snoring, shoulder-wallah. At which point you either move carriages or thrust a BiC ballpoint up their nostril til it penetrates what passes for their brain.

Which is why I've been sat at home for four weeks since getting back from Oz, checking Jobserve daily, OK weekly, for a local job that doesn't involve sitting in a sea of human misery twice a day every day.

 

[black & white seagull]

Each time Ms LC has been pregnant we have been stunned by the lack of men and women failing to give up a seat to her.

When my friend was eight months pregnant, she got on a busy commuter train and ended up standing next to a three-facing-three seat section. Five of the seats were taken up by men, with a woman in the sixth, in the far corner. Eventually this woman looked up, exclaimed, and asked if my friend would like her seat. She said she would love her seat - and took great pleasure, as she made her way to it, in scraping her shoes down the ankles of each of the five men who had looked at her very pregnant state, and then completely ignored her.

 

[Moshe Gariani]

Which is why I've been sat at home for four weeks since getting back from Oz, checking Jobserve daily, OK weekly, for a local job that doesn't involve sitting in a sea of human misery twice a day every day.

Here we go again, it's Monday at last,
He's heading for the Waterloo line,
To catch the 8 a.m. fast, its usually dead on time,
Hope it isn't late, got to be there by nine.
Pin stripe suit, clean shirt and tie,
Stops off at the corner shop, to buy The Times
'Good Morning Smithers-Jones'
'How's the wife and home?'
'Did you get the car you've been looking for?'

Let me get inside you, let me take control of you,
We could have some good times,
All this worry will get you down,
I'll give you a new meaning to life - I don't think so.

Sitting on the train, you're nearly there
You're part of the production line,
You're the same as him, you're like tin-sardines,
Get out of the pack, before they peel you back.

Arrive at the office, spot on time,
The clock on the wall hasn't yet struck nine,
'Good Morning Smithers Jones'
'The boss wants to see you alone'
'I hope its the promotion you've been looking for'


'Come in Smithers old boy'
'Take a seat, take the weight off your feet'
'I've some news to tell you'
'There's no longer a position for you' -
'Sorry Smithers Jones'.

Put on the kettle and make some tea
It's all a part of feeling groovie
Put on your slippers turn on the TV
It's all a part of feeling groovie
It's time to relax, now you've worked your arse off
But the only one smilin' is the sun tanned boss
Work and work and work and work till you die
There's plenty more fish in the sea to fry

 

[Billy the Fish]

I bet he loved every minute of it

Now you mention it I did find it a bit strange that he kept on rubbing his penis, I just assumed that he had a very bad itch.

 

[Dave the OAP]

I don't mind commutting. What I'm trying to work out at the moment is what exactly train security guards do.

catch people in first class who havent paid the correct fare.

 

[Hunting 784561]

I commuted into the City for over 15 years - first from Hove and more recently from west Saltdean.

One of my best life changing moments was my company allowing me to work from home, a couple of years ago.

I've set up a home office overlooking my garden, and the sea, which is just perfick.

My stress levels are down, the blood pressure is down, and when I do go into London for client meetings, normally out of the rush hour, it is a relative pleasure and no longer a chore.

 

[Storer68]

Very nice too. My company pay for my season ticket as well (and I pay the tax same as you), but don't think I could blag a first class one.

Lucky you. I have to pay for mine . £3240 for the privilege of not sitting down

 

[Marty McFly]

I travel from Lancing to Gatwick. I wish every train was like the 5.45. It's peaceful, (normally) on time and there's space to move. Later trains are a right 'mare.

My main pet hate is mobile phones....they piss me right off...

Yeah....oh, I know....Seriously?...hmmmm.....yeah.....I know.....yeah......mmmm....mmmmm....hmmmmm.....yeah....mmmmmm

 

[Beach Hut]

catch people in first class who havent paid the correct fare.

Rubbish, never seen one challenge anybody concerning whether they even have a ticket.

 

[British Bulldog]

What I'm trying to work out at the moment is what exactly train security guards do.

That makes 2 of us.

 

[British Bulldog]

I travel from Lancing to Gatwick. I wish every train was like the 5.45. It's peaceful, (normally) on time and there's space to move.

I catch that train from Lancing when i'm on early shift, Guaranteed seat and a nice bit of snooze time up to three bridges.

 

[Ernest]

Rubbish, never seen one challenge anybody concerning whether they even have a ticket.

You haven't been on my train then dear boy as I always charge the excess of a full first class single fare to any standard ticket holder

 

[willingdon_seagull]

Commuters are a strange bunch of people generally. I work in Gatwick and usally drive to work but sometimes if the missus wants to use my car I may take the train in from Brighton. I dont catch any specific train when I do but from experience the class of people on that 6:41 Brighton to London Bridge never cease to amaze me. Rude, ignorant miserable bastards and some of their attitudes towards the guard onboard the train is disgusting.
Moaning and whinging about having to get their tickets out when asked. It was brilliant once when this stuck up b1tch moaned and the guard said to her "sorry madam, are you going to do your job properley today?" - "yes of course" she replied.... "then let me do mine then please with all due respect" the guard told her! Brilliant, brought her down a peg or two.

 

[Dave the OAP]

Rubbish, never seen one challenge anybody concerning whether they even have a ticket.

bollocks.

This very morning, the security people ( Metro security) asked the first class passengers for their tickets and one chap was not in receipt of a first class ticket and he was asked to pay the difference and a fine on top.

 

[blue'n'white]

I have read every thread on here and agree with everything that has been said .
One of my pet hates (and there are far too many to go on about here) is the way that people treat the bastard train as though it is their private bloody office, immediately they get on the train out comes the crackberry and the mobile and possibly the laptop too and then they all get "synchronised". If someone hasn't sent them an e-mail they get twitchy and have to ring someone about effin' WORK for Chrissakes. I leave my work firmly at the door of my office - it don't come home with me and I don't think about it till I get in in the bloody morning. So why can't other people. And all their ring tones are so so bad especially when they don't realise that it's their phone that's bleating out Mariah Carey and you hear most of one of her songs before they fumble in their hand bags. As if anyone else would have Mariah bleedin' Carey as a ring tone !
And, as someone said above, those bloody stupid little cases that they have to pull behind them as they go vacantly about the station and then stop directly in front of you and glare at you as you bang in to them when all they keep in there is sandwiches anyway.
But the worst is the rudeness - the way that everybody tries to invade your space. If I had a pound for every person that bumps into me during the day I would have enough to buy an Albion season ticket every week ! My absolute favourite is the twat on London Bridge (it's mainly London Bridge)who just has to be at his desk two seconds before yu and tries to insinuate himself into the very small space between you and the next person . Now there isn't enough space so he has to walk in this strange crab like posture just to get ahead of you as he has spotted a possible opening three people in front of you. This is though quite easy to deal with - as he gets in front of you just kick the **** very hard in the ankle - you almost have to anyway as that's the way your foot is going and why the hell should you stop but just give it that little extra impetus. However much it hurts they know they've done wrong so never complain. One of commuting's little pleasures !!!!