Commuting

[bhaexpress]

I know a lot of us do it but it never ceases to unimpress me some of the stupidity I and I'm sure plenty of others see daily.

1) Why does sitting on a public transport seat make some men's testicles swell to the point they have to use up your space ?

2) Why do very fat people pay the same as the rest of us when they take up twice as much space ?

3) Why do some people cram into a train when like the Tube and the DLR there's another a couple of minutes behind ?

4) Why are some people so stupid that they don't try to move when it's their arse that is stopping the doors from closing and thus holding EVERYBODY up ?

5) Why can't people try saying 'excuse me' (let alone 'please') when they push past you ?

6) Why do some people think that their lack of hygene is okay ? It isn't !

I loath commuting but it's a nessesary evil or am I being harsh about some of my fellow travellers ?

 

[Dave the OAP]

dont commute then, you silly old goat.

 

[terrymendez]

You are spot on...
Hats off to all who do it. Rather you than me.

 

[Nibble]

I don't commute but do use the train for longer journeys. Some journeys, when timed right are almost a pleasure others, timed wrong such as rush hours or school times are truly horrendous and I have every sympathy for commuters.

I once had to go to London during a time my Stepdad was working in London. By pure coincidence I was on Victoria platform and spotted my Stepdad returning from work. He looked so tired and hacked off but just got about his business. It tugged the heartstrings a bit!

 

[bhaexpress]

dont commute then, you silly old goat.

Just because you clear a path by farting on your fellow travellers. Actually, my current commute is from zone 2 to 5 and yet most days that takes two hours each way. I would hazard a guess that a lot of people in Sussex don't take that long.

 

[The Large One]

I now take the train from London Road to Lewes to get to work - and, of course, it's the Universities run.

It's very worrying that the supposed creme de la creme de menthe of our country's intellectual future haven't sussed out the mind-meltingly simple notion that taking their f***ing backpacks/rucksacks things off their backs will actually create more space on a crowded train.

 

[Badger]

Just because you clear a path by farting on your fellow travellers. Actually, my current commute is from zone 2 to 5 and yet most days that takes two hours each way. I would hazard a guess that a lot of people in Sussex don't take that long.

I commute from Hassocks to Clapham every day and it takes me about an hour and a half. Another one for the list

7) People with iPods that have crap headphones (i.e. the ones that come with it) which provide more sound to the person sitting next to them (usually me) than themselves. I often put my iPod on but I know for a fact that my headphones only allow me to hear it. And why do these people always seem to be playing crap music?

Thankfully my commute is coming to an end as I have taken a job in Brighton

 

[pasty]

I know a lot of us do it but it never ceases to unimpress me some of the stupidity I and I'm sure plenty of others see daily.

1) Why does sitting on a public transport seat make some men's testicles swell to the point they have to use up your space ?

2) Why do very fat people pay the same as the rest of us when they take up twice as much space ?

3) Why do some people cram into a train when like the Tube and the DLR there's another a couple of minutes behind ?

4) Why are some people so stupid that they don't try to move when it's their arse that is stopping the doors from closing and thus holding EVERYBODY up ?

5) Why can't people try saying 'excuse me' (let alone 'please') when they push past you ?

6) Why do some people think that their lack of hygene is okay ? It isn't !

I loath commuting but it's a nessesary evil or am I being harsh about some of my fellow travellers ?

7) Why do those lazy tossers who insist on having their tiny briefcases on wheels insist on stopping dead still the moment they reach the top of the escalator to open the handle so the rest of us have no option but to ram them roughly from from behind.

 

[Scoffers]

As a commuter of more than 20 years, most of the above annoyances now pass me by, I hardly notice, but the rudeness has always been there, it's not a new thing. People definately leave their manners at home when they travel on the tube, and no mistake, but it rarely bothers me nowadays.

I did get angry the other day though when travelling home from Victoria, some pikey **** was sat at a table and the only spare seat was a window seat opposite him, so I asked the guy in the aisle, who dutifully moved, but our pikey chap decided he wasn't gonna move his feet that extended under my seat, I paused at first, he still didn't move, so I bellowed out "ANY CHANCE WE CAN COME TO SOME ARRANGEMENT OVER THE FEET SPACE HERE?" at that point, he moved his feet and pretended to go to sleep

Of course, he got off the train at Croydon and didnt make eye contact.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Long term commuting brings on a form of psychosis. It's dehumanising. You only have to look at the speed people are walking when they come off the trains from London of an evening. About twice the speed of people who have been in Brighton all day. It's far from healthy, and a completely rubbish way of life. Coming off that train, weighed down with multiple laptops, blackberries and all the rest of the shit. On call 24/7 and then you wonder why your wife and kids don't know you anymore. Tragic.

 

[Scoffers]

Long term commuting brings on a form of psychosis. It's dehumanising. You only have to look at the speed people are walking when they come off the trains from London of an evening. About twice the speed of people who have been in Brighton all day. It's far from healthy, and a completely rubbish way of life. Coming off that train, weighed down with multiple laptops, blackberries and all the rest of the shit. On call 24/7 and then you wonder why your wife and kids don't know you anymore. Tragic.

You calling me psychotic, dehumanised and tragic

Yep, that's about right

 

[pasty]

Long term commuting brings on a form of psychosis. It's dehumanising. You only have to look at the speed people are walking when they come off the trains from London of an evening. About twice the speed of people who have been in Brighton all day. It's far from healthy, and a completely rubbish way of life. Coming off that train, weighed down with multiple laptops, blackberries and all the rest of the shit. On call 24/7 and then you wonder why your wife and kids don't know you anymore. Tragic.

You have just described my life. During the week I spend about 2 hours a day with the family. I'm first out of the house and don't get home until gone 8pm

I need a new job.

 

[Man of Harveys]

As a commuter of more than 20 years, most of the above annoyances now pass me by, I hardly notice, but the rudeness has always been there, it's not a new thing. People definately leave their manners at home when they travel on the tube, and no mistake, but it rarely bothers me nowadays.

I did get angry the other day though when travelling home from Victoria, some pikey **** was sat at a table and the only spare seat was a window seat opposite him, so I asked the guy in the aisle, who dutifully moved, but our pikey chap decided he wasn't gonna move his feet that extended under my seat, I paused at first, he still didn't move, so I bellowed out "ANY CHANCE WE CAN COME TO SOME ARRANGEMENT OVER THE FEET SPACE HERE?" at that point, he moved his feet and pretended to go to sleep

Of course, he got off the train at Croydon and didnt make eye contact.

Good work: some - not all people act like viscious bullies on the train, but (mostly) would rather curl up and die screaming rather than having this noisily pointed out to them. If my access to or from my seat is being blocked by knees and people can see me standing up and heading that way but choose to ignore that, I've sometimes boomed "EXCUSE ME"s so loud they make Brian Blessed sound like Tiny Tim.

But I wish SLOW DEATH BY PILES on the women - because sadly, they are ALWAYS women - who so plainly delight in shrieking "CAN YOU MOVE DOWN PLEASE" and thereby sound more strident than a menopausal Margaret Thatcher at the despatch box.

 

[Scoffers]

You have just described my life. During the week I spend about 2 hours a day with the family. I'm first out of the house and don't get home until gone 8pm

I need a new job.

Snap

 

[Hatterlovesbrighton]

I don't mind commutting. What I'm trying to work out at the moment is what exactly train security guards do.

 

[See-Goals]

You forget to mention heavy breathing and the blokes who with every muscle in their body snort and scratch and cough up a nice parcel of phlegm before swallowing it down again. Blow your f***ing nose

Also people that just look around the carriage staring at fellow commuters. Common known protocol is that you sit quietly and bury your head in paper/book/music/games and only look up when distracted by an attractive member of the opposite sex.

 

[pasty]

I don't mind commutting. What I'm trying to work out at the moment is what exactly train security guards do.

Fine people £20 for going one stop outside zone 6 when travelling to a client meeting.

 

[keaton]

I commuted for a year. I think if i'd carried on any longer i would either have become a fully-blown alcoholic or has some sort of break down. I now do a much worse job, but it only takes me 20-25 minutes to get to work and my life has improved immeasurably

 

[Scoffers]

But I wish SLOW DEATH BY PILES on the women - because sadly, they are ALWAYS women - who so plainly delight in shrieking "CAN YOU MOVE DOWN PLEASE" and thereby sound more strident than a menopausal Margaret Thatcher at the despatch box.

Yes, I know what you mean, many is the time I have wanted to respond, something like

"Yes certainly dear, once i've detached my legs and stored them in the overhead storage"

or

"Certainly maddam, which particular passenger would you like me to bear hug so that you can get on the train?"

 

[Papa Lazarou]

I did 8 years of Durrington to London Bridge, only curtailed by redundancy. I now drive to Lewes to work, which is fine and dandy. However, this is only temporary (as it's a contract position), so eventually I will end up back on the London treadmill... so I'm spending as much time with the kids now, so they remember who I am!!

Papa