[Misc] Christmas day disasters

[dazzer6666]

Mrs D tested posted for Covid on Xmas Eve. Meant a load of late drama about who was and wasn’t still coming for lunch………one couple having some acute vulnerabilities. Muddled through with 7 of us instead of 9 and Mrs eating in the next room. Pissup planned for this week has been cancelled.

Oh, and I forgot to cook the Yorkshire Puddings (although no-one noticed until I said something).

 

[pasty]

Some donut put chocolate under the tree on the 21st, we're fostering a Bulldog at the moment and she just loves Terry's chocolate orange washed down with a tube of Munchies! A £256 quid trip to the vet will serve as a expensive lesson learned. What a complete fluff bucket.

Christmas Eve a few years back. Wrapped Mrs P's last present, a box of Famous Names chocolate liquers, stupidly left them under the tree and went to the pub.

Came home a couple of hours later.......

Fortunately, the dog had only eaten about half of one, so no panic.

 

[Comrade Sam]

Last Christmas my daughter tested positive for COVID on Christmas Eve, so we didn't pop down to Worthing to pick up my Dad. This year we all got the all clear, my wife was gutted - 3 days of my Dad stinking out the house and snoring on the couch.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

We had a very similar occasion, that’s the day we became vegetarian and never looked back.

The smell of that semi decomposed bird has never really left my nostrils.

Why take home a turkey you found at the side of a road?

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Forgot to cook the Pigs in Blankets

How many had you eaten before someone realized?

 

[Coldeanseagull]

All been feeling a bit rough, with cold symptoms since last week.
Wifey and daughter no.2 both tested positive today. Made me feel better to know they're suffering!
I.DON'T.DO.SYMPATHY.

 

[Zeberdi]

Got up Boxing Day morning to find next door neighbours cat had been through the cat flap in the night, knocked a large serving plate of gherkin and chicken liver pâté canopes off the sideboard onto the floor and spent what looked like was probably a few hours licking the pate off the 40 or so blinis - the gherkins were just scattered all over the floor untouched.

The dog managed to grab a whole Turkey by the leg off a low table where it had been wrapped in foil but fortunately we got to her in time. She probably ate Santa’s mince pie though which the kids left out by the fire place after they’d gone to bed - at least we don’t think Santa took it but you never know.

The dishwasher broke down Boxing Day just after it had been fully stacked from lunch - the thing had to be emptied and glasses and dishes from 14 lunches had to be washed by hand.

 

[PILTDOWN MAN]

Got up Boxing Day morning to find next door neighbours cat had been through the cat flap in the night, knocked a large serving plate of gherkin and chicken liver pâté canopes off the sideboard onto the floor and spent what looked like was probably a few hours licking the pate off the 40 or so blinis - the gherkins were just scattered all over the floor untouched.

The dog managed to grab a whole Turkey by the leg off a low table where it had been wrapped in foil but fortunately we got to her in time. She probably ate Santa’s mince pie though which the kids left out by the fire place after they’d gone to bed - at least we don’t think Santa took it but you never know.

The dishwasher broke down Boxing Day just after it had been fully stacked from lunch - the thing had to be emptied and glasses and dishes from 14 lunches had to be washed by hand.

Thought you meant the wife had a fit and f***ed off to the in-laws

 

[Zeberdi]

Thought you meant the wife had a fit and f***ed off to the in-laws

Not sure how you got that from my post nor why that would even be a disaster anyway

 

[PILTDOWN MAN]

Not sure how you got that from my post nor why that would even be a disaster anyway

You said the dishwasher broke down

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

All been feeling a bit rough, with cold symptoms since last week.
Wifey and daughter no.2 both tested positive today. Made me feel better to know they're suffering!
I.DON'T.DO.SYMPATHY.

Well....f*** off, then

 

[Poojah]

Christmas 2005, I had taken my then girlfriend, now wife, out for a slap-up steak dinner on Christmas Eve in Middlesbrough where we were living at the time, before dropping her off at her parents in the comparatively posh North Yorkshire town of Northallerton some 20 minutes or so away.

As it happened, me and her old man had had a major fallout over an episode of Strictly Come Dancing (he having asked me whether I’d fancy shagging one of the dancers, which was a bit tricky to answer sat in a room with my missus, her mum and her kid sister). We didn’t speak for well over a year, and I was very much unwelcome in their house at the time, as mad as that was given the trivial nature of the argument.

So the plan was to wake up in the morning, quietly meet the missus to exchange presents before driving down to Grimsby to meet up with family and friends.

An okay enough plan, until I awoke at 3am with what turned out to be weapons grade food poisoning. So there I was, stuck in this bleak, rented, two-up two-down house in Middlesbrough town centre, an area where few people celebrate Christmas anyway, completely alone with nothing but the toilet to hug.

It took me four, full days before I felt well enough to leave that damp, decrepit house, and another one on top before the missus was satisfied I wasn’t going to give her an infectious vomiting bug as an extra present.

‘Twas more depressing than the Eastenders Christmas special.

 

[OzMike]

Last year, just before Xmas my son had an operation. He was sent home soon after and told to keep cool to make sure his temperature stayed low.
So the aircon was turned up in his room.
He is a terrible patient to be honest and we had wished he had stayed in the hospital for longer.
All went ok until 2pm on Christmas Day when we had a power cut.
No aircon and no fans to cool him, he made such a fuss about it that he had to be taken to hospital to stay there.
I went out at first light on Boxing Day and got a generator and rigged it all up to power the aircon and fridge.
I went to the hospital to collect him and by the time I got back home the power was back on.

 

[Algernon]

The smell of that semi decomposed bird has never really left my nostrils.

Copyright Shane Duffy