Chav Special

[Vicar!]

On a bus to town Sunday night, outside a closed Worthing station, whilist rail line was out of order.

Bus arrives and driver announces.
'Bus to Brighton'
First Chav
'Great this go to West Worthing'
'No just come from there I am Going to Brighton'
Second Chav
'Do you go to Goring then'
'No I just said I have come from there, I AM GOING TO BRIGHTON
First Chav
'Don't worry mate! I will take the train'

Vicar

 

[Adams score 0]

And i waited hours for that train.

 

[Stinky Kat]

Oh the simple Chav, what a constant source of amusement you are!
Chavs are the dregs of human existence. They live merely to piss everyone else off with their love of crap clothing and manky gold jewellery.
They have taken the wearing of tracksuits and baseball caps to a new level of pikieness.
Chav girls (or chavettes) commonly sport the Croydon Facelift (hair pulled back in a bun so tight that it pulls their faces tight) with at least 6 dangly faux-gold earings in each ear. Also often seen pushing a pram round shopping centers while chain-smoking and wearing fake burberry or nasty velour tracksuits. A favourite accessory is a hideous gold articulated clown dangling from a thick gold chain around their pimply acne scarred necks.
Male chavs hang around in gangs spitting alot and trying to start fights with small children or anyone else that they could easily overpower (which really is just small children!). Once they are of driving age they obtain a clapped out old Nova or Metro and then spend a fortune (no one knows where this money comes from, it is one of the many mysteries of the chav) "maxing it up" with big wheels, sound systems and a huge "wanker pipe" exhaust. Chavs can be seen in any copy of Max Power magazine proudly displaying their efforts at automotive design - tossers !!!

 

[disgruntled h blocker]

The Chavs hanging around Shoreham station were the best. One of the scally's asked me if I was related to Mr Branston

I just told them where to go.

Hear there is a dispersement order there now, so they can't hang about near the one-stop

 

[nail-Z]

The Chavs hanging around Shoreham station were the best. One of the scally's asked me if I was related to Mr Branston

Is your name Pickle?

 

[NMH]

Unfortunate but true - there is an anti-fashion culture in Britain, for declining education. It is seen as a peer-bravado to scoff at learning, and attending classes.
That looks to the chavvy 'lads' to be conforming to society, so they MUST reject the older generation and their teachings.

A view into this 'primitive cool' was broached overtly in the film 'A Clockwork Orange' - but Britain is frustratingly subject to continue with this sub-culture of the thick.

Will it ever change, or is it endemic to society to endure it, suffer it knowing that "it means the rest of us can look down on someone" or ...?

 

[Biscuit]

Once they are of driving age they obtain a clapped out old Nova or Metro and then spend a fortune (no one knows where this money comes from, it is one of the many mysteries of the chav) "maxing it up" with big wheels, sound systems and a huge "wanker pipe" exhaust.

I believe the new term is 'souping it up' or it has been 'souped up' etc.. lord knows why. what has soup got to do with cars?

 

[RexCathedra]

'Souped up' is an ancient Americanism, and goes back to the Thirties anyways. I think it refers to tin cans, and the first steel-bodied cars of that era.

The more ususal term I hear from my students is 'pimped' -- there's even a show on MTV featuring car makeovers called 'Pimping My RIde'.

The pedagogue in me insists that 'pimping one's ride' should entail trying to cajole passers-by into 'renting' one's car for an hour, then beating the car senseless if it won't turn over the proceeds....

I'm fascinated by the chav phenomenon.
Are they what we call 'whiggers' (i.e. white n***gers). white kids ineptly copying inner-city black styles and attitudes? Here in rural Maine there are a handful of layabouts covered in gold chain, trying very hard to pretend that they're actually in Compton, or Euclid, or North Philly. Silly, actually, since a 'drive-by shooting' up here always entails deer, a pickup truck, and a violation of the hunting laws.

 

[Eddie the Seagull]

Knock knock!
Who's there?
A chav.
*smack!*
f*** off away from my house, you dirty munter.