Cemetary Polka

[Franks Wild Years]

Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon, independent as a hog on ice
He's a big shot down there at the slaughterhouse
Plays accordion for Mr. Weiss

Uncle Biltmore and Uncle William
Made a million during World War Two
But they're tightwads and they're cheapskates
And they'll never give a dime to you

Auntie Mame has gone insane
She lives in the doorway of an old hotel
And the radio is playing opera
All she ever says is "Go to hell"

Uncle Violet flew as a pilot
And there ain't no pretty girls in France
Now he runs a tiny little bookie joint
They say he never keeps it in his pants

Uncle Bill will never leave a will
And the tumor is as big as an egg
He has a mistress, she's Puerto Rican
And I heard she has a wooden leg

Uncle Phil can't live without his pills
He has emphysema and he's almost blind
And we must find out where the money is
Get it now before he loses his mind

Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon, independent as a hog on ice
He's a big shot down there at the slaughterhouse
He plays accordion for Mr. Weiss

 

[Trufflehound]

We sail tonight for singapore,
Were all as mad as hatters here
Ive fallen for a tawny moor,
Took off to the land of nod
Drank with all the chinamen,
Walked the sewers of paris
I danced along a colored wind,
Dangled from a rope of sand
You must say goodbye to me

We sail tonight for singapore,
Dont fall asleep while youre ashore
Cross your heart and hope to die
When you hear the children cry
Let marrow bone and cleaver choose
While making feet for children shoes
Through the alley, back from hell,
When you hear that steeple bell
You must say goodbye to me

Wipe him down with gasoline
til his arms are hard and mean
From now on boys this iron boats your home
So heave away, boys

We sail tonight for singapore,
Take your blankets from the floor
Wash your mouth out by the door,
The whole towns made of iron ore
Every witness turns to steam,
They all become italian dreams
Fill your pockets up with earth,
Get yourself a dollars worth
Away boys, away boys, heave away

The captain is a one-armed dwarf,
Hes throwing dice along the wharf
In the land of the blind
The one-eyed man is king, so take this ring

We sail tonight for singapore,
Were all as mad as hatters here
Ive fallen for a tawny moor,
Took off to the land of nod
Drank with all the chinamen,
Walked the sewers of paris
I drank along a colored wind,
I dangled from a rope of sand
You must say goodbye to me

 

[Franks Wild Years]

 

[chip]

Outside another yellow moon
punched a hole in the nighttime, yes
I climb through the window and down the street
shining like a new dime
the downtown trains are full with all those Brooklyn girls
they try so hard to break out of their little worlds

You wave your hand and they scatter like crows
they have nothing that will ever capture your heart
theyr'e just thorns without the rose
be careful of them in the dark
oh if I was the one
you chose to be your only one
oh baby can't you hear me now

Will I see you tonight
on a downtown train
every night is just the same
you leave me lonely now

I know your window and I know it's late
I know your stairs and your doorway
I walk down your street and past your gate
I stand by the light at the four way
you watch them as they fall
they all have heart attacks
they stay at the carnival
but they'll never win you back

Will I see you tonight on a downtown train
where every night is just the same you leave me lonely
will I see you tonight on a downtown train
all of my dreams just fall like rain
all upon a downtown train

 

[Trufflehound]

And specially for Frank:


Frank settled down in the Valley,
and he hung his wild years on a
nail that he drove through his
wife's forehead.

He sold used office furniture out
there on San Fernando Road and
assumed a $30,000 loan at
15 1/4 % and put a down payment
on a little two bedroom place.

His wife was a spent piece of used jet trash
Made good bloody-marys, kept her mouth
shut most of the time, had a little Chihuahua
named Carlos that had some kind of skin
disease and was totally blind.

They had a thoroughly modern kitchen;
self-cleaning oven (the whole bit)
Frank drove a little sedan.
They were so happy.

One night Frank was on his way home
from work, stopped at the liquor store,
picked up a couple of Mickey's Big Mouth’s.
Drank 'em in the car on his way to the
Shell station; he got a gallon of gas in a can.

Drove home, doused everything in
the house, torched it.
Parked across the street laughing,
watching it burn, all Halloween
orange and chimney red.

Frank put on a top forty station,
got on the Hollywood Freeway
headed North.

Never could stand that dog.

 

[Gwylan]

i spent all my money in a mexican whorehouse, across the street from a
catholic church, and then i wiped off my revolver, and i buttoned up my
burgundy shirt, i shot the morning in the back, with my red wings on, i told
the sun he'd better go back down, and if i can find a book of matches, i'm
goin' to burn this hotel down.

you got to tell me brave captain, why are the wicked so strong, how do the
angels get to sleep, when the devil leaves the porchlight on.

well i dropped thirty grand on the nugget slots, i had to sell my ass on
fremont street, and the drummer said there's sanctuary, over at the bagdad
room, and now it's one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready,
and go man go, i said tell me mr. siegel, how do i get out of here.

well willard's knocked out on a bottle of heat, drivin' dangerous curves
across the dirty sheets, he said man you ought to see her, when her parents
are gone, man you ought to hear her when the siren's on.

you got to tell me brave captain, why are the wicked so strong, how do the
angels get to sleep, when the devil leaves the porchlight on.

don't you know that ain't no broken bottle, that i picked up in my
headlights, on the other side of the nevada line, where they live hard die
young, and have a good lookin' corpse every time, well the pit-boss said i
should keep movin', this is where you go when you die, and so i shot a black
beauty, and i kissed her right between the eyes.

well willard's knocked out on a bottle of heat, drivin' dangerous curves
across the dirty sheets, he said when the bitch is wound up, and her parents
are gone, man you ought to hear her with the siren on.

you got to tell me brave captain, why are the wicked so strong, how do the
angels get to sleep, when the devil leaves the porchlight on.