Barrel of Fun
Abort, retry, fail
Would that sort of spiel entice you in to giving them business?
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Blue Sky Thinking. Seamless. And All that Rot.
- Thread starter Barrel of Fun
- Start date
Would that sort of spiel entice you in to giving them business?
Tricky Dicky
New member
Ideation - that's a new one.
- Jul 10, 2003
- 27,778
Years ago, when i worked for one of the big banking groups, every business unit had to come up with a mission statement.
We came up with 'We are not at home to Mr cock-up'. It wasn't accepted
We came up with 'We are not at home to Mr cock-up'. It wasn't accepted
Beach Hut
Brighton Bhuna Boy
Years ago, when i worked for one of the big banking groups, every business unit had to come up with a mission statement.
We came up with 'We are not at home to Mr cock-up'. It wasn't accepted
Ours was:
Yesterdays Technology at Tomorrows Prices
That failed as well
Pevenseagull
meh
- Jul 20, 2003
- 20,693
a management consultant once told be that their goal was to facilitate my empowerment viz leveraging key metrics
pasty
A different kind of pasty
I actually had to google that one as I didn't think it was a real word!
gazingdown
Well-known member
- Feb 26, 2011
- 1,072
Do these people that speak in management-bullshit realise that Gus Hedges was a satirical character, not some god to emulate?
Stir-fry that idea in your think wok!
Stir-fry that idea in your think wok!
- Jan 3, 2012
- 17,356
No, it wouldn't. In the past when I worked in the real world and on occasion having to deal with consultancies and advertising agencies in particular, it often struck me that what was most important to them was them, and not you as the CUSTOMER.
As someone who has an MBA, it pains me to think that is the sort of self-serving rubbish that other people with MBA's might write.
Norman Potting
Well-known member
Years ago, when i worked for one of the big banking groups, every business unit had to come up with a mission statement.
We came up with 'We are not at home to Mr cock-up'. It wasn't accepted
But I like it if that is any comfort.
Tricky Dicky
New member
Is it ? I assumed it was some ******* son extrapolation of Idea and Creation, or some such.
Dave the OAP
Well-known member
I work very closely now with our American teams and I HATE " Reach out" In that " Dave, can you reach out to xxxx and get that information".....No I wont reach out, I will fecking well ASK him/her!!!!
I still think the best one I have ever heard is we " Leverage the Continuum".
Funniest one, is " Re-allign the expectations of the client" ie. " we can't do what we told you, so here is something different instead"
I still think the best one I have ever heard is we " Leverage the Continuum".
Funniest one, is " Re-allign the expectations of the client" ie. " we can't do what we told you, so here is something different instead"
Godstar
Active member
Years ago, when i worked for one of the big banking groups, every business unit had to come up with a mission statement.
We came up with 'We are not at home to Mr cock-up'. It wasn't accepted
A few years ago, i had a corporate client whose favourite saying was that - until one day when something did go wrong & i informed that not only had Mr cock-up called, but he has let himself in & is currently sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea & eating biscuits!!
As a side note, my company's mission statement at the time was "We make the easy look impossible"
Sergei's Celebration
Well-known member
The one I had the other day was 'thank you for leading us in this vision'. What a load of old horse dung.
I work very closely now with our American teams and I HATE " Reach out" In that " Dave, can you reach out to xxxx and get that information".....No I wont reach out, I will fecking well ASK him/her!!!!
I still think the best one I have ever heard is we " Leverage the Continuum".
Funniest one, is " Re-allign the expectations of the client" ie. " we can't do what we told you, so here is something different instead"
Okay let's take this offline.
Sergei's Celebration
Well-known member
Oh and another was 'i look to you to drive the knowledge transfer in our thought leadership'.
Pi@& off
Pi@& off
A seamless integrated approach for the end user, creates an ecosystem that cross pollinates big data. That's why leading on this vision is central to building, first to market, sustainable, partnerships.
You should have asked if they were looking for a quick win? Thought leadership* is impossible without credible insights on A-B testing.
*In all seriousness, people now laugh at ''thought leadership'' as a term, it's now outdated in marketing-speak.
People in my team are ALWAYS using this, apparently when you're in a meeting you're online and when you leave it you're offline, WTF?
Anyway I need to go and re-prioritise our strategic benchmarks so we'll have to touch base later.
Lord Bracknell
On fire
I once failed to get anyone to accept what I thought was rather a good slogan ...Years ago, when i worked for one of the big banking groups, every business unit had to come up with a mission statement.
We came up with 'We are not at home to Mr cock-up'. It wasn't accepted
East Sussex Social Services ... who cares
This was shortly after Hampshire County Council's waste disposal team managed to persuade their council to have every item of post sent out, franked with the slogan ...
Hampshire County Council - Think Waste.
Genius!
Sergei's Celebration
Well-known member
When did we stop speaking English and start stringing words together to form meaningless sentences? I work for a large multi-national and I just don't understand what the Americans say half the time.