Bloody weird

[Man of Harveys]

I'm a bit spooked, to be honest: about a month ago, I parked my car overnight near where I live in central Brighton. In the morning, I came down to see a small but unmistakable stain of dried SPIT on one of my rear windows. OK, it's not great but I attributed it to naughty chavs, or maybe even my Albion sticker if there were Palace turds in town - it happens.

But, over the weekend, I parked it in the same place, only to find quite a few droplets of BLOOD, again around the rear of the car. It had dried but I rubbed it and there was no mistaking that rusty-red colour. As well as being freaked, I was annoyed; I'd just had the thing carwashed.

Now, there's no-one who I think has a major grudge of any kind against me (I hope). There was no blood on the pavement nearby either - my first thought was that there had been a punch-up but seemingly not. However, there IS an archetypal mad bag lady who is often stumbling around that area.

WTF is going ON? Are seagulls POOING blood now? - there's a lot of airborne defecation going on at the mo. Help me NSC. You're my only hope.

 

[Hampden Park]

buy a cover for your car

 

[Redhead]

Park somewhere else?

 

[Napper]

rubbed the blood ....... big risk in Brighton

 

[Man of Harveys]

These are both fine ideas. But who is putting blood and spit on my car? And WHY? It's not normal, is it?

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

We've narrowed it down to about 200 from NSC.

 

[Redhead]

It's not normal, is it?

When ever i'm bleeding or have to expel bodily fluids, I usually aim for a rear windscreen.

 

[Gazwag]

Have you a god given right to live in Brighton - if not its Hove Born & Bred

 

[Icy Gull]

Have you got a German car

 

[CHAPPERS]

rubbed the blood ....... big risk in Brighton

Why?

 

[Stinky Kat]

seagull with piles

 

[Trufflehound]

Sell the car and buy a banjo.

 

[The Large One]

Do you think they mistook it for a handkerchief?

 

[Barrel of Fun]

Have you a god given right to live in Brighton - if not its Hove Born & Bred

A hate campaign against non-Brightonians.

 

[Deano's Right Foot]

Sell the car and buy a banjo.

Wise words indeed. You'd be a fool not to heed this advice.

 

[Kylies Stunt Arse]

Could it be something else? Sauce off a kebab? Seagull shit?

If not then someone is out to get you.

 

[Kylies Stunt Arse]

Wise words indeed. You'd be a fool not to heed this advice.

And buy a white suit to go with the pair of Jimmy Melia's shoes you've got.

 

[The Large One]

It's not a Robin Reliant or a Volvo is it?

*Ref: 1980s 'hate' vehicles

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Probably just some pissed idiot who got in a fight and some of the blood went on the car.

Any that was on the ground would have been removed by people walking on it. I think it's fairly safe to assume the blood and the spit don't belong to the same person and you're the victim of an unfortunate coincidence

 

[Man of Harveys]

Could it be something else? Sauce off a kebab? Seagull shit?

If not then someone is out to get you.

If it was blood sauce from a kebab, surely there'd be onions, bits of meat etc. There were NONE.

I blame passing PALACE fans. Or the mad old woman who tries to stand in your way when you walk down the pavement. It's probably her menstr...no, let's not go there.