[Humour] Best Man Speech - Palace Groom!!

[brighton_tom]

Just channel the energy that got us here

 

[Winker]

Hi all,

My mate is getting married in a months time and unfortunately he is a Palace fan (I know, I know)!

I’m seeking some ideas how I can ‘nicely’ poke fun at the fact he supports Palace (along with half the room!). Any ideas welcome, somehow comparing marriage to supporting palace is my thinking!

Thanks

Say something along the lines of having more class when choosing a bride to choosing a football club.

 

[Albion in the north]

Hes got more chance of her going down than Palace staying up?

 

[Arkwright]

Confirm with both the church and wedding venue that they have been paid in full and not at the traditional rate of 1p in the pound.
Pay the DJ not to play Glad All Over.
Finally to keep with tradition take a dump in the matrimonial bed.

 

[brighton_tom]

Something about hoping that the marriage isn’t a depressing hard slog, like watching Crystal Palace is, and that you hope the bride doesn’t leave him, like Zaha is doing to them.

 

[Triggaaar]

Some financial advice for the couple would be nice. Maybe buy lots of expensive things on credit, and then go into administration so they don't have to pay it off.

 

[Triggaaar]

Something about hoping that the marriage isn’t a depressing hard slog, like watching Crystal Palace is, and that you hope the bride doesn’t leave him, like Zaha is doing to them.

To be fair, Zaha has more than done his time with them.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Hi all,

My mate is getting married in a months time and unfortunately he is a Palace fan (I know, I know)!

I’m seeking some ideas how I can ‘nicely’ poke fun at the fact he supports Palace (along with half the room!). Any ideas welcome, somehow comparing marriage to supporting palace is my thinking!

Thanks

 

[dazzer6666]

Say something along the lines of having more class when choosing a bride to choosing a football club.

“She goes down easier than Wilf Zaha”

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

To be honest, to show real class, you'll avoid any little football rivalry witticisms. After all, it is his day.
















And it could all be downhill from here on.

 

[Scappa]

Borrow from Rowan Atkinson:

"If his entire family may be likened to a compost heap - and I think they can - ***** is the biggest weed growing out of it. I think I'd be more inspired by the sight of a cow pat. ***** is the kind of man people emigrate to avoid"

"As for the rest of you sitting around this table not directly related to me, you can sod off. I wouldn't trust any of you to sit the right way on a lavatory"

"I propose a toast to the caterers. And the pigeon that crapped on the grooms family's car at the church"

"I remember when I first met *****. I said to my wife - she's the lovely woman propping up that horrendous old drunk of a mother of his - either this man is suffering from serious brain damage, or the new vacuum cleaner has arrived"

 

[schmunk]

Call him a ****.

Call them all ****s.

Simple but effective.

 

[Happy Exile]

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Propose a toast to the groom:

"Please be upstanding if you hate Palace"

 

[Scappa]

What's that on the gift table? Oh, handwritten cheque from Steve Parrish - how very generous.

Just remember:







Don't let it bounce

 

[Hastings gull]

Hi all,

My mate is getting married in a months time and unfortunately he is a Palace fan (I know, I know)!

I’m seeking some ideas how I can ‘nicely’ poke fun at the fact he supports Palace (along with half the room!). Any ideas welcome, somehow comparing marriage to supporting palace is my thinking!

Thanks

If there are folk there not from Sussex, you could begin by saying -welcome to Sussex, gateway to the continent and home to the incontinent. Not a dig at palace, I know, but it did get an intial laugh.

 

[Cornwallboy]

Personally I wouldn't overdo it on the anti Palace jokes as from what you've said only half the room is likely to understand and appreciate the rivalry. You risk the other the other half politely laughing but in reality not having a clue.

One of the classic pit falls of a best man's speech is one too laden with in jokes. I went to a wedding a few years back and the groom and best man had been mates in the marines together along with a handful of the rest of the room. Way too many bootneck jokes meant the speech fell a bit flat

Totally agree with this. I would make just one gentle anti Palace reference in the speech for the reasons very well explained by @METALMICKY. Don't risk the speech falling flat on it's face.

 

[Jesus Gul]

take one of these along...and swear like a trooper

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[LamieRobertson]

I’m impressed the Palace fan is having an Albion fan as his best man, quite funny really.

Glad all over?

 

[Eric Youngs Contact Lens]

I’m impressed the Palace fan is having an Albion fan as his best man, quite funny really.

That is the best angle for me.. plus..
If its a church wedding.. you can be impressed that the Palace fans were able to sing without a drum,