Anyone recommend a Hove/Brighton based Divorce Solicitor

[Arthritic Toe]

If there is any way at all, try to sort it out without solicitors. Solicitors will drain your liquid assets fast. They are not working for you, they are working for themselves. They are in business to maximise their own profit. They will do this by:
- At the outset, give each party an unrealistic expectation of what a final settlement will be like.
- Create conflict at every opportunity to maximize their involvement

My ex mrs and I started down this road. At the initial meetings with our respective solicitors, she was told she could expect to end up with a settlement of approx. 90% in her favour. I was told by mine to expect more like 50-55%.

A small amount of research into typical settlements (and there are thousands and thousands of precedents out there), made it pretty obvious to me that the solicitors were following their own agenda.

Its really hard, but if you can try and arrive at that 'typical settlement' on your own and convince your ex that this is what she would be likely to end up with, you will save yourselves thousands, possibly tens of thousands. Its made especially hard because your wife's solicitor will be a constant voice in her ear trying to convince her that she will be better off fighting through the courts. You could try mediation - this may help to arrive at that common ground. My main problem with mediation however is that they will not offer an opinion if one or other party is making unreasonable demands - that is not in their remit.

If and when you can agree that settlement, you can use one of the online services to prepare a consent order, which is the legal document that gets set in stone by the court. The online consent order service (including court fees) will cost you about £150. A solicitor will charge about £800 for the same thing.

All the best - good luck with it.

 

[SIMMO SAYS]

Slightly off topic but, as the title suggests, I need a good, local (Hove) Family Law solicitor and would rather spend a small fortune with someone who comes recommended rather than someone with a cool website.

Has anyone been through this most painful of processes and can recommend whoever represented them or were particularly impressed with the other side's choice.

Property and Children are involved so want someone who is good... a lot at stake!

Shoot her then shoot yourself
The minute between have a pint of the Black Stuff










I'm kidding

 

[sully]

If there is any way at all, try to sort it out without solicitors. Solicitors will drain your liquid assets fast. They are not working for you, they are working for themselves. They are in business to maximise their own profit. They will do this by:
- At the outset, give each party an unrealistic expectation of what a final settlement will be like.
- Create conflict at every opportunity to maximize their involvement

I would disagree that they are all like this. I was advised that I would be wasting my money going down the road of getting court orders regarding access arrangements and that the solicitor did not want to take my money on false promises.

My ex mrs and I started down this road. At the initial meetings with our respective solicitors, she was told she could expect to end up with a settlement of approx. 90% in her favour. I was told by mine to expect more like 50-55%.

A small amount of research into typical settlements (and there are thousands and thousands of precedents out there), made it pretty obvious to me that the solicitors were following their own agenda.

Its really hard, but if you can try and arrive at that 'typical settlement' on your own and convince your ex that this is what she would be likely to end up with, you will save yourselves thousands, possibly tens of thousands. Its made especially hard because your wife's solicitor will be a constant voice in her ear trying to convince her that she will be better off fighting through the courts. You could try mediation - this may help to arrive at that common ground. My main problem with mediation however is that they will not offer an opinion if one or other party is making unreasonable demands - that is not in their remit.

I seem to recall a couple of comments from our mediator that were clearly aimed at my ex making unreasonable demands. They were very carefully worded, but she either didn't pick up on what was being said or chose to ignore it. He did seem to have a pop at me a couple of times, too!

If and when you can agree that settlement, you can use one of the online services to prepare a consent order, which is the legal document that gets set in stone by the court. The online consent order service (including court fees) will cost you about £150. A solicitor will charge about £800 for the same thing.

All the best - good luck with it.

I echo these best wishes.

It's not an easy journey, but just try to stay true to yourself and keep everything as fun as possible with the kids. They don't need to know the details of what their parents are arguing about.

 

[Bozza]

This stuff is so very difficult and I have a lot of sympathy for anyone going through it.

My ex and I were able to maintain a great relationship post-separation, putting the welfare of our daughter above all else. So much so that the very day the divorce papers dropped through my front door we were heading away to Florida as a 'family', leaving my new partner (who is still my partner) behind.

We'd still spend Christmas all together, often with my ex's wider family.

We divorced without involving solicitors. I made a voluntary offer of most of the equity we had in our house and maintenance payments above what I understood I would be compelled to pay. It was important to know that my daughter would have a decent home and not want for too much. When my ex-wife was going through a bit of a rough patch, she asked if I could pay even more monthly, and I did without question.

There were no issues with access to my daughter - midweek, alternate weekends and holidays. We'd swap around if one wanted a particular day or weekend, particularly if it meant that our daughter could make family occasions etc.

We were continually praised by both nursery carers and then school teachers at how we were unlike so many other separated parents they had to deal with, many of whom could barely be in the same room together.

Then it all changed. It may not have been the direct influence of a new partner in her life, but the timing coincided exactly. He appeared on the scene and it felt as though an attempt was made to marginalise me. To make matters worse, he lived in Dubai and she wanted to go and live there with my daughter. I can still remember vividly when she told me of her plans, immediately after my daughter's first school sports day, as we strolled out of the school gates together. The legal battle that followed was deeply unpleasant for me and, I don't doubt, for her too. The £40,000 or so I spent fighting the move, to keep my daughter in the country and close to all of her family, on both sides, will probably be the best money I ever spend in my whole life.

The previously positive relationship we enjoyed was all but destroyed. I've tried to be friendly throughout, often in the face of quite unpleasant aggression and abuse, but it's difficult. There is no flexibility permitted. This year was the first time my daughter has been with me on Fathers' Day for 7 or 8 years. My scheduled weekday contact with my daughter often doesn't happen or is cut very short, without any prior notification.

Compared to many Dads, I know I'm still fortunate - I do have my daughter every other weekend, for alternate Christmases and for holidays etc. but I don't believe there is any need for the unpleasantness that has developed, and now feels as though will remain with us forever now.

All I would say to other Dads who do enjoy a positive relationship with the other side when going through a divorce is to make sure that all arrangements you have agreed, both with regard to money and access to your children, are thoroughly documented and signed off. Don't think "our relationship is cool and that won't ever change" because it might.