I'd have a go but....I don't really know the song and how it scansGo for it . Verse 2 ?
I'll instead channel Lonnie Donegan:
My old man's a seagull
He wears a seagull's hat
And when he saw Leandro
He said "you f***ing twat"
The swear filter will delete the last two words but if you have a florid and Byzantine imagination....you'll soon be up to speed.