An open letter to the bloke that stole my pint

[pastafarian]

Dear head

You utter utter

I queued up for hours for that ing thing only for you to pinch it whilst my guard was down and going for a wizz

what sort of wit are you,im sure during the week you rob pensioners of their war medals and shag your sister after for a bit of celebration.

I bet you wear tight denim shorts you mong,the ones with the turn ups like a hipster Jimmy Saville,your Rolf Harris beard simply rounds of your utter prickknobishness.

I really hope you zip up your ,expose flesh and fall into a vat of chilli with 15 million on the scoville scale

I will now be wizzing in every pint i buy.........steal at your peril.....you have been warned!

 

[Tricky Dicky]

Dear head

You utter utter

I queued up for hours for that ing thing only for you to pinch it whilst my guard was down and going for a wizz

what sort of wit are you,im sure during the week you rob pensioners of their war medals and shag your sister after for a bit of celebration.

I bet you wear tight denim shorts you mong,the ones with the turn ups like a hipster Jimmy Saville,your Rolf Harris beard simply rounds of your utter prickknobishness.

I really hope you zip up your ,expose flesh and fall into a vat of chilli with 15 million on the scoville scale

I will now be wizzing in every pint i buy.........steal at your peril.....you have been warned!

I think you have anger issues. Calm, calm, calm.

 

[pastafarian]

I think you have anger issues. Calm, calm, calm.

makes note,.......suspect no.1

 

[Pretty pink fairy]

Been up all night crying over it
Regards
DR

 

[pastafarian]

Been up all night crying over it
Regards
DR

hmmm suspect no.2

 

[Tricky Dicky]

hmmm suspect no.2

You're really not going to want it back with his tears in it.

 

[pastafarian]

You're really not going to want it back with his tears in it.

ive never seen DR cry.......but those grey hairs of his must be due for a moulting.

 

[Fred Oliver - Legend]

You queued up for HOURS?

 

[pastafarian]

You queued up for HOURS?

Yes i did

And im writing this still stuck in bloody Bennets field.......what is your point.


(suspect no.3 emerges)

 

[Phat Baz 68]

Wipes mouth with massive grin on face whilst rubbing large belly !!!

 

[pastafarian]

Wipes mouth with massive grin on face whilst rubbing large belly !!!

you are off the hook

i doubt they make denim shorts in your size

 

[VAL1850]

Can you get the pie n pint deal next time mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

[Jack Daniels]

Heard Ernest was trying to sell a pint for half price that he apparently "no longer wanted"

 

[Deleted member 22389]

Dear head

You utter utter

I queued up for hours for that ing thing only for you to pinch it whilst my guard was down and going for a wizz

what sort of wit are you,im sure during the week you rob pensioners of their war medals and shag your sister after for a bit of celebration.

I bet you wear tight denim shorts you mong,the ones with the turn ups like a hipster Jimmy Saville,your Rolf Harris beard simply rounds of your utter prickknobishness.

I really hope you zip up your ,expose flesh and fall into a vat of chilli with 15 million on the scoville scale

I will now be wizzing in every pint i buy.........steal at your peril.....you have been warned!

I'm afraid mate there is some real scum bags around. Some **** was driving down the wrong side of the road trying to park on the way home from the football last night. He didn't like it because I was coming up the road, so what he did was get back in to his normal lane, as he passed me he swerved for me and nearly hit my car.

I went fing mad, if I didn't have to pick my wife up I would have gone to have a chat with him. Dangerous fcker who shouldn't be on the road. You get them everywhere. In your case, if you can't be bothered to wait just pinch someones else drink. Scum bags. I know how you feel.

 

[pastafarian]

I'm afraid mate there is some real scum bags around. Some **** was driving down the wrong side of the road trying to park on the way home from the football last night. He didn't like it because I was coming up the road, so what he did was get back in to his normal lane, as he passed me he swerved for me and nearly hit my car.

I went fing mad, if I didn't have to pick my wife up I would have gone to have a chat with him. Dangerous fcker who shouldn't be on the road. You get them everywhere. In your case, if you can't be bothered to wait just pinch someones else drink. Scum bags. I know how you feel.

I find your elongated story somewhat out of place......what are you hiding? (suspect no.4)

 

[Super Steve Earle]

Yes i did

And im writing this still stuck in bloody Bennets field.......what is your point.


(suspect no.3 emerges)

Well at least you didn't drink and drive!

 

[HastingsSeagull]

I have a theory here

Maybe Paul Barber spotted an unattended pint and sold it in the away end for FFP profits, or else if you left it with mates they probably did him a deal and you need better mates.

 

[MarioOrlandi]

Wear bright red lipstick, take a swig and if you leave said pint and it is pinched you can find the scumbag easily enough

 

[pastafarian]

Well at least you didn't drink and drive!

some one else volunteered to drive this week,i only wanted one pint at £4.20......technically i have been robbed twice in a matter of minutes

 

[Deleted member 22389]

I find your elongated story somewhat out of place......what are you hiding? (suspect no.4)

Yes it is out of place. I'm just saying lots of scum bags around.