American visitors

[Meade's Ball]

So, my brother is bringing along, on Saturday, 5 young American chaps to get their first taste of beautiful south coast football AKA soccer. They'll be in the north stand, a little distance from me, and likely in the bar for a while before and after. I was asked by my brother for any particular things for them to see or do or eat or drink, but I am not sure they would greatly like to mirror my habits of each game - noshing on a Sainsburys cheese and onion pie warmed and provided by my mum's slightly Wurzelly boyfriend; getting annoyed with overly chatty happy people around me and quietly and cowardlily huffing; spotting a north stand colleague showing a recent snap taken of a greyhound in a jumpsuit and not knowing quite what to do about it. So, here I am, asking you for any advice I could give these likely meateaters of what they might see or get up to. Harveys will be drunk and I would hope they spend foolishly in the club shop. What else?

Please inform. Whatever you write, I shall have forwarded to them. Be as rude as you like.

 

[Wrong-Direction]

Don't call it soccer

 

[Triggaaar]

Make sure they've drunk well and try to manage their scoreline expectations, they're likely to find the lack of goals a problem.

 

[StonehamPark]

So, my brother is bringing along, on Saturday, 5 young American chaps to get their first taste of beautiful south coast football AKA soccer.

Don't call it soccer

It's actually Soccer (or Assoc/Socca), aka Football.

 

[Taybha]

Awesome , do tell them they cant take their revolvers with them to the game , and no soppy Davy Crocket hats .

 

[KingstonSeagull]

Make stuff up... I told my American friends who came to a game with me once that if it is 0-0 in the 88th minute they have Stale mate Multi Ball! They were disappointed when we scored...

 

[Megazone]

Tell them we named our stadium after their great/awesome country.

 

[AmexRuislip]

Let them know that there are no time outs, only half time which lasts 15 mins and does not include some overhyped diva singing hail to America

 

[Prince Monolulu]

There are NO ad breaks every time a tackle is made....aside from 15 mins at half-time to top up beer volumes.

No a hootin' and a hollerin'.

Edit....above post beat me to it.

 

[StonehamPark]

Tell them to bring clackers and foam fingers or they'll stand out.

 

[AmexRuislip]

Tell them that we quaff beer and do not chug.

 

[Prince Monolulu]

There is no awfence and deeeefence.

 

[Giraffe]

Make stuff up... I told my American friends who came to a game with me once that if it is 0-0 in the 88th minute they have Stale mate Multi Ball! They were disappointed when we scored...

That is actually a great idea. Would need a certain amount of electronic intervention though as can see two goals being scored at the same time.

 

[AmexRuislip]

 

[StonehamPark]

Penalty time is when there is a game of 11v11 Bulldog with the last man standing's team winning the game regardless of the score.

 

[Triggaaar]

That is actually a great idea. Would need a certain amount of electronic intervention though as can two goals being scored at the same time.

Games already have the technology to signal when a ball crosses the line, so it will be standard rules - first ball across the line counts, golden goal.

 

[Giraffe]

I went to see Orlando play in the summer and to be fair the crowd actually put on a decent atmosphere. However based on this experience please tell them they cant have a barbecue in the car park like they do over there.

 

[Triggaaar]

I do like that clip, but it's been cut short. They all start fighting in the stands, old England style.

 

[Braggfan]

Tell them that we don't play the national anthem before the game, but when Sussex by the Sea starts they must stand, take of any hats and put their hand over their hearts.

 

[Easy 10]

Break it to them that we don't get to the stadium 4 hours before kickoff to light a bbq and get drunk at a tailgate party


(mores the pity).