Apologies, this will probably be quite long, but I'm very appreciative for anyone who reads it and is able to offer any advice from their own experience...
Eight weeks ago my mum fell out of bed in the middle of the night and broke her hip quite badly.
Since then she's spent five weeks in Worthing Hospital where she had the operation and subsequent initial recuperation and, since then, three weeks in Crawley Hospital's rehab facility where she still is. I've visited her every day throughout this for long periods.
My mum is 78 and prior to this incident was still pretty independent. She's a hairdresser by trade and still did a small bit of work. She still drove and was capable of going to a big supermarket and doing her shopping etc. Her sister / my aunt, who is a few years younger lives with her which works quite well.
She had started to become short-term forgetful - she might ask me the same question in the space of a few minutes, but was still in pretty decent mental shape.
Since this incident, she is all over the place mentally. I'm aware of post-operative delirium, and that in some people in can take a while to clear and whilst I'm hoping that her mental state is caused by that as well as the whole traumatic episode and hospitals not being great places to be, I also have to accept that this may now be it.
And when I say "this" I mean she thinks people in the hospital are trying to kill her. Every day she has long tearful episodes where she tells me she's going to die and I won't see her again and I try to convince her otherwise. She still doesn't really know she had a fall and a big operation and. sometimes, doesn't even seem to know what a hospital is. She'll speak about people and pets who died 20-30 years ago as still being alive. All of this and lots more besides. She's nothing like the woman she was just eight weeks ago.
The hospital are starting to talk about discharge, with a view to her coming home - something we would all ordinarily want. However I just don't feel she'd be safe. They'll arrange a few bits of equipment, and three to four care visits a day for up to six weeks. However, they advise against bed rails as people can try and climb over them to get out and then fall a greater distance to the floor.
Without something I would very much fear my mum waking in the night needing the loo, forgetting where she was and/or forgetting she needs a frame to move about and would fall again, risking another bad break and we'd be back to square one, if not worse.
The occupational therapist said something along the lines of "she will need 24-hour supervision", which I completely agree with, and as much as my aunt (who lives with her) and me could try, I now think that just isn't practical. Most of the burden would fall on my aunt, who is not a young lady,
We have a meeting with the hospital on Monday and I think my opening question is now going to be "If we can't take her home as we don't believe we can look after her safely, what is going to happen?"
My fear is if we did take mum home, hoping her mental state would improve in familiar surroundings (although she can't currently remember where she lives, what her house looks like nor that my aunt lives with her) and things didn't work out, then it would be difficult and slow to make alternative arrangements.
Has anyone been in a similar position, and can share their experience at all?
Eight weeks ago my mum fell out of bed in the middle of the night and broke her hip quite badly.
Since then she's spent five weeks in Worthing Hospital where she had the operation and subsequent initial recuperation and, since then, three weeks in Crawley Hospital's rehab facility where she still is. I've visited her every day throughout this for long periods.
My mum is 78 and prior to this incident was still pretty independent. She's a hairdresser by trade and still did a small bit of work. She still drove and was capable of going to a big supermarket and doing her shopping etc. Her sister / my aunt, who is a few years younger lives with her which works quite well.
She had started to become short-term forgetful - she might ask me the same question in the space of a few minutes, but was still in pretty decent mental shape.
Since this incident, she is all over the place mentally. I'm aware of post-operative delirium, and that in some people in can take a while to clear and whilst I'm hoping that her mental state is caused by that as well as the whole traumatic episode and hospitals not being great places to be, I also have to accept that this may now be it.
And when I say "this" I mean she thinks people in the hospital are trying to kill her. Every day she has long tearful episodes where she tells me she's going to die and I won't see her again and I try to convince her otherwise. She still doesn't really know she had a fall and a big operation and. sometimes, doesn't even seem to know what a hospital is. She'll speak about people and pets who died 20-30 years ago as still being alive. All of this and lots more besides. She's nothing like the woman she was just eight weeks ago.
The hospital are starting to talk about discharge, with a view to her coming home - something we would all ordinarily want. However I just don't feel she'd be safe. They'll arrange a few bits of equipment, and three to four care visits a day for up to six weeks. However, they advise against bed rails as people can try and climb over them to get out and then fall a greater distance to the floor.
Without something I would very much fear my mum waking in the night needing the loo, forgetting where she was and/or forgetting she needs a frame to move about and would fall again, risking another bad break and we'd be back to square one, if not worse.
The occupational therapist said something along the lines of "she will need 24-hour supervision", which I completely agree with, and as much as my aunt (who lives with her) and me could try, I now think that just isn't practical. Most of the burden would fall on my aunt, who is not a young lady,
We have a meeting with the hospital on Monday and I think my opening question is now going to be "If we can't take her home as we don't believe we can look after her safely, what is going to happen?"
My fear is if we did take mum home, hoping her mental state would improve in familiar surroundings (although she can't currently remember where she lives, what her house looks like nor that my aunt lives with her) and things didn't work out, then it would be difficult and slow to make alternative arrangements.
Has anyone been in a similar position, and can share their experience at all?
