[Albion] A Pain in the Grass

[GJN1]

Clearly, I have real problems but the way the pitch is cut at the Amex is driving me nuts.

Let me explain.

Look at this picture...

Working from the byline towards the halfway line, there are three identical cuts of six yards apiece, neatly arranged on the edge of the six yard box, at the penalty spot and then at the edge of the 18-yard area.

So far, so neat and pretty.

But then it gets messy.

Judging by all available evidence, the Amex pitch is 105 yards long, meaning that the remaining six sections are, if equal, just 5.75 yards long.

But looking at the fourth cut, just outside the area, that appears to be the same as the first three, meaning the other five sections must be even shorter.

Can one of the grounds staff please confirm the exact measurements of each section please as I'm not sure I can carry on.

 

[bhafc99]

Never was any good at these. Hmm. Is the answer that Johnny still has £5?

 

[Gwylan]

Never was any good at these. Hmm. Is the answer that Johnny still has £5?

I think I went wrong somewhere, I had the answer as 3π

 

[Dick Swiveller]

I've checked with the Premier League and the answer is - penalty to Spurs (Foul on Kane)

 

[zefarelly]

Mowing was becoming and artform until some grey charisma vacuum at the FA outlawed it.

 

[Guy Fawkes]

#1stWorldProblems

 

[GJN1]

Mowing was becoming and artform until some grey charisma vacuum at the FA outlawed it.

I think it was Leicester's masterpieces were the straw that broke the camel's lawn mower.

 

[Eeyore]

42

 

[Sea Cider]

What an excellent post

I don't understand or care, but it greatly pleased me that you took the time to communicate this critical information

 

[Shuggie]

It’s some sort of initiative to assist VAR. No more fancy patterns on the pitch, just a mandated mowing pattern:

Starting at one end, mow in one direction for six yards, then the other direction for six yards and so on. The last stripe in the half will be the width required to complete that half. Go to the other end and repeat. Meet in the middle.

This is why the first, second, third and fourth stripes in each half neatly abut the six and eighteen yard boxes.

I have kept this to myself to win the admiration of my peers in WSU for being uncannily able to call offside decisions correctly

 

[Bold Seagull]

Clearly, I have real problems but the way the pitch is cut at the Amex is driving me nuts.

Let me explain.

Look at this picture...

View attachment 161288

Working from the byline towards the halfway line, there are three identical cuts of six yards apiece, neatly arranged on the edge of the six yard box, at the penalty spot and then at the edge of the 18-yard area.

So far, so neat and pretty.

But then it gets messy.

Judging by all available evidence, the Amex pitch is 105 yards long, meaning that the remaining six sections are, if equal, just 5.75 yards long.

But looking at the fourth cut, just outside the area, that appears to be the same as the first three, meaning the other five sections must be even shorter.

Can one of the grounds staff please confirm the exact measurements of each section please as I'm not sure I can carry on.

Pitch is 108 yards long. No one is cutting uneven stripes at this football club.

 

[Greg Bobkin]

We're gonna need a bigger mower

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Parallax

Johnny has 6 children, as his five sons all have 1 sister.
Do I win?

 

[Guy Fawkes]

Wouldn't happen in Germany

 

[GJN1]

Pitch is 108 yards long. No one is cutting uneven stripes at this football club.

Don't believe it.

 

[Icy Gull]

I know a season ticket holder at the Amex and he told me that the pitch was shitehouse

 

[doogie004]

42

Is the correct answer

 

[KZNSeagull]

The stripes nearer the goal look smaller as you are sitting further away from them

 

[A mex eyecan]

well it will depend on how long the grass was when it was mown

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Willie OUT!