[Football] A friendly tap on the bum?

[Doc Lynam]

In years gone bye a friendly tap on the bum was ignored or tolerated, or even met with a thanks. In these more lightened times you very rarely see it.

Changing of attitudes could be one reason or is there a more sinister threat, misinterpretation, legal action, leaving this form of communication to lurk in the shadows! In short why don’t footballers tap each other on the bum anymore?

 

[marlowe]

I was tapped on the bum recently as I was descending a ladder by a pensioner who I thought I was doing a good deed for. Unbeknown to me at the time I had been lured there for more sinister reasons. The tap on my bum I originally brushed off as the pensioner being overly cautious for my safety as I descended the ladder and he was merely giving me a supporting and guiding hand. His rather murky and unsolicited invitation to me afterwards as I sat in his living room drinking the beer I had been given as reward for my good deed made me realise the real motivations of the tap I had received on my bum. Suffice to say I politely declined his invitation, thanking him nonetheless for the offer and left.

 

[Titanic]

I was tapped on the bum recently as I was descending a ladder by a pensioner who I thought I was doing a good deed for. Unbeknown to me at the time I had been lured there for more sinister reasons. The tap on my bum I originally brushed off as the pensioner being overly cautious for my safety as I descended the ladder and he was merely giving me a supporting and guiding hand. His rather murky and unsolicited invitation to me afterwards as I sat in his living room drinking the beer I had been given as reward for my good deed made me realise the real motivations of the tap I had received on my bum. Suffice to say I politely declined his invitation, thanking him nonetheless for the offer and left.

Are you on the same meds as [MENTION=282]Meade's Ball[/MENTION] ?

 

[Ninja Elephant]

I was tapped on the bum recently as I was descending a ladder by a pensioner who I thought I was doing a good deed for. Unbeknown to me at the time I had been lured there for more sinister reasons. The tap on my bum I originally brushed off as the pensioner being overly cautious for my safety as I descended the ladder and he was merely giving me a supporting and guiding hand. His rather murky and unsolicited invitation to me afterwards as I sat in his living room drinking the beer I had been given as reward for my good deed made me realise the real motivations of the tap I had received on my bum. Suffice to say I politely declined his invitation, thanking him nonetheless for the offer and left.

What were your true intentions, [MENTION=1416]Ernest[/MENTION]?

 

[Jolly Red Giant]

In years gone bye a friendly tap on the bum was ignored or tolerated, or even met with a thanks. In these more lightened times you very rarely see it.

In years gone bye if you gave a friendly tap on the bum to another man would it have been ignored or tolerated or even met with a thanks?

 

[Sheebo]

I’ve had it at work before - from an old female. if it had been a male doing it to a female I doubt it would have been as ignored or tolerated. Sexist world we live in I tell ya! ‘Oh **** is a word men say’ - **** offffff

 

[schmunk]

After that dodgy kebab last night I could have done with a tap on my bum today...

 

[Wellesley]

I knew an old chap that suffered for years with uncontrollable bowel movements. He was given a tap on the bum in 1988 and he'd never been happier.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

In years gone bye a friendly tap on the bum was ignored or tolerated, or even met with a thanks. In these more lightened times you very rarely see it.

Changing of attitudes could be one reason or is there a more sinister threat, misinterpretation, legal action, leaving this form of communication to lurk in the shadows! In short why don’t footballers tap each other on the bum anymore?

Bygone days. They probably don't even put their phones on vibrate, stick them up their bums and then text each other either. Well at least not during MOTD...

 

[symyjym]

Tapping or patting peoples bottoms is a bit sinister if you ask me.

 

[Easy 10]

If I tapped anyone on the arse at work, I'd probably end up in a disciplinary.

There was a rather excellent story in the news yesterday about a bloke who bought cakes in on his birthday and emailed the department to let them know. The email went:

“There are doughnuts on Alf’s desk as it’s my birthday today. I hope people like Krispy Kremes - I know Soraya enjoys a glazed ring.”

Soraya didn't see the funny side though, and replied: “This is absolutely totally unacceptable James. There are limits to ‘jokes’ you can send at work copying in all colleagues - this is extremely rude and offensive. Please note that this will be forwarded to HR - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

He's been suspended.

 

[Doc Lynam]

Tapping or patting peoples bottoms is a bit sinister if you ask me.

I fear this view is what puts off many footballers, maybe it'll change after Brexit.

 

[symyjym]

I fear this view is what puts off many footballers, maybe it'll change after Brexit.

I hope Potter's not a player bottom patter.

 

[London Pompous]

I'm a pensioner and tapped a youngster on the bum recently as he was coming down a ladder after I'd lured him to my house on a pretence.

I then offered him a beer in the hope of getting him a bit tipsy and having my wicked way with him, but he seemed to get wind of my advances and left, calling me a dirty old man.

That seemed a bit harsh, I only wanted a bit of rumpo, wasn't expecting Boston Pancakes, Belgian Biscuits or a quick ring a roses with the local rugby XV, but the youth of today, far too oversensitive if you ask me.

 

[pearl]

Bygone days. They probably don't even put their phones on vibrate, stick them up their bums and then text each other either. Well at least not during MOTD...

to be fair how would they text each other if their 'phones up their arse??

 

[MattBackHome]

If I tapped anyone on the arse at work, I'd probably end up in a disciplinary.

There was a rather excellent story in the news yesterday about a bloke who bought cakes in on his birthday and emailed the department to let them know. The email went:

“There are doughnuts on Alf’s desk as it’s my birthday today. I hope people like Krispy Kremes - I know Soraya enjoys a glazed ring.”

Soraya didn't see the funny side though, and replied: “This is absolutely totally unacceptable James. There are limits to ‘jokes’ you can send at work copying in all colleagues - this is extremely rude and offensive. Please note that this will be forwarded to HR - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

He's been suspended.

Maybe she prefers her hole jammed?

 

[knocky1]

Maybe she prefers her hole jammed?

.....and a couple of ginger nuts on the edge of her plate.

 

[Questions]

If I tapped anyone on the arse at work, I'd probably end up in a disciplinary.

There was a rather excellent story in the news yesterday about a bloke who bought cakes in on his birthday and emailed the department to let them know. The email went:

“There are doughnuts on Alf’s desk as it’s my birthday today. I hope people like Krispy Kremes - I know Soraya enjoys a glazed ring.”

Soraya didn't see the funny side though, and replied: “This is absolutely totally unacceptable James. There are limits to ‘jokes’ you can send at work copying in all colleagues - this is extremely rude and offensive. Please note that this will be forwarded to HR - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

He's been suspended.

It’s just suddenly dawned on me why in Guylians Seashell/mollusks praline selection they never included a ‘chocolate starfish’

What fun in the office and when nan came at xmas that would have been.

 

[Meade's Ball]

Are you on the same meds as [MENTION=282]Meade's Ball[/MENTION] ?

He wishes.

 

[Icy Gull]

Loving this thread it’s like going back in time on NSC

When’s it being moved/closed?