100 years ago today

[blueandwhitestripes]

Well, as i remember it

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria’s pint.

Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg.

Germany expresses its support for Austria’s point of view.

Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

Serbia points out that it can’t afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria’s trousers.

Russia and Serbia look at Austria.

Austria asks Serbia who it’s looking at.

Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.

Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so.

Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene.

Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action anymore.

Britain and France ask Germany whether it’s looking at Belgium.

Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.

Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.

France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.

Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it’s on Britain’s side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.

Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it.

France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.

America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany’s fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

Haha very good. I can see that being used in the new school curriculum !

 

[Lord Bracknell]

Serbia was part of the Austrian-Hungarian Empire, the Serbs had a pact with Russia. Russia and France worried about the rise of Germany in central Europe made a pact some years before. Now for some Godforsaken reason we had made a treaty with our long standing enemy the French prior to the Crimean War.
So the murder of the Arch Duke was a statement that Serbia wanted independence and when the Austro-Hungarian Empire retaliated the Serbs called on Russia for help who duly obliged, and when the Germans entered the fray in support of their allies the Austrians, the French joined in to help the Russians hence our involvement.
It is worth noting that through Queen Victoria and Prince Albert all of the Royal Houses of Europe were related.

Yes, but ... what's this got to do with Belgium?

 

[Silk]

Yes, but ... what's this got to do with Belgium?

Britain joined the war because Germany attacked Belgium, which was a neutral country.

 

[DNB_Seagull]

Britain joined the war because Germany attacked Belgium, which was a neutral country.

It thought it went through Belgium to get to France?

 

[Silk]

It thought it went through Belgium to get to France?

Indeed. The Germans asked for free passage through Belgium, which was denied. They then attacked Belgium anyway. Germany declared war on Belgium on August 4th and attacked Líege.

 

[Stat Brother]

Well, as i remember it

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria’s pint.

Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg.

Germany expresses its support for Austria’s point of view.

Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

Serbia points out that it can’t afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria’s trousers.

Russia and Serbia look at Austria.

Austria asks Serbia who it’s looking at.

Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.

Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so.

Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene.

Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action anymore.

Britain and France ask Germany whether it’s looking at Belgium.

Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.

Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.

France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.

Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it’s on Britain’s side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.

Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it.

France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.

America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany’s fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

All that's missing from the superb analogy is the fact that all the main protagonists are related.

WWI was a family feud that, to treat all those millions of deaths as glibly as possible, got out of hand.

 

[bWize]

Well, as i remember it

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria’s pint.

Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg.

Germany expresses its support for Austria’s point of view.

Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

Serbia points out that it can’t afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria’s trousers.

Russia and Serbia look at Austria.

Austria asks Serbia who it’s looking at.

Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.

Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so.

Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene.

Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action anymore.

Britain and France ask Germany whether it’s looking at Belgium.

Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.

Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.

France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.

Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it’s on Britain’s side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.

Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it.

France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.

America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany’s fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

Quality! Like someone else mentioned they should teach this way in schools.

 

[Guy Fawkes]

But Austria didn't attack Serbia did it. In fact the last declaration of war after Germany, France, Russia, Belgium, UK etc had all
taken sides was that Austria declared war on Serbia. The balloon had already gone up so to speak. Austria was effectively
played a minor role. Unless I'm talking twoddle.

http://www.historyonthenet.com/WW1/WW1_timeline.htm

Austria were the first, declaring war on Serbia and then all the alliance treaties kicked in and the rest, as they say, is history

 

[Guy Fawkes]

People often ask the question "if you had a time machine, would you travel back and assassinate Hitler"

Maybe the better question would be whether you would assasinate Gavrilo Princip, and prevent the First World War from happening, meaning that there was no reason for Hitlers Germany to seek a Second World War, Britains empire wouldn't have been destroyed and so on.....

 

[Silk]

People often ask the question "if you had a time machine, would you travel back and assassinate Hilter"

Maybe the better question would be whether you would assasinate Gavrilo Princip, and prevent the First World War from happening, meaning that there was no reason for Hilters Germany to seek a Second World War, Britains empire wouldn't have been destroyed and so on.....

Who is Hilter?

 

[forrest]

People often ask the question "if you had a time machine, would you travel back and assassinate Hitler"

Maybe the better question would be whether you would assasinate Gavrilo Princip, and prevent the First World War from happening, meaning that there was no reason for Hitlers Germany to seek a Second World War, Britains empire wouldn't have been destroyed and so on.....

Indeed you could loosely relate a lot of conflicts back to World War One. No WW1, no WW2. No WW2 no Cold War. Splintering from the Cold War you have The Korean War, Vietnam and the Mayalan conflict (Britians secret war). Then as a fallout of WW2 you have the break up of the European empires across the world, which lead to independace and god knows who many civil wars across Africa and Asia.

Then most of the problems in the Middle East you can possibly go back to WW1 and broken promises by the British government.

 

[Stoo82]

Well, as i remember it

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria’s pint.

Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg.

Germany expresses its support for Austria’s point of view.

Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

Serbia points out that it can’t afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria’s trousers.

Russia and Serbia look at Austria.

Austria asks Serbia who it’s looking at.

Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.

Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so.

Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene.

Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action anymore.

Britain and France ask Germany whether it’s looking at Belgium.

Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.

Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.

France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.

Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it’s on Britain’s side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.

Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it.

France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.

America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany’s fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

Pretty good. But I would argue that the USA never ratified the Treaty of Versailles, because of its harshness on Germany, and therefore did not 'blame' Germany.

There is also the fight after! France and Belgium punched Germany 1921(?) when they occupied the Rhineland for failure to pay reparations. Poland and Lithuania were at loggerheads for years after (right up until 1938 when they started talking to each other!), Greece and Turkey went to war, the whole of East Europe was in a constant argument over new boarders which had never appeared before, leaving 19 million out of 98 million people in 9 nation states ethnic minorities [Bell].

The argument should be if the War (I would argue there were several independent wars, not one world war) ever even ended? Was there a 30 year war from 1914-1945?