1 night stands? Any stories, please dont be too graphic

[Wez]

1 night stands in my experiance are cack, but looking back very funny, the worst was this girl who virtually abused me, i had marks all over me the next day. I refer to her now as jermanji(the thing from the jungle). had to have a shower with a wire bursh. "unclean unclean!".

How about you guys and girls?

 

[berkshire seagull]

Not going to blab on as had so many of em and many storys!

 

[Gangsta]

Wez, your story sounds familiar.

Was down the Funky Bhudda, about six months ago on a Sunday and I pulled this sweet looking 19 year old (all right a bit young for me but hey so what). Looked like butter wouldnt melt. The minute got her home something wasnt quiet right. Got into bed with her expecting a wonderful time when she turned into a f***ing monster. I was very drunk and can recall at one stage I had convinced myself vampires existed and this was one of them. She bit, scratched punched and bit everywhere again. I spent the whole night restraining her - I was in fear of my life. There was no sex to speak of, it was just a fight for survival.

Turned up at my sales meeting that morning looking like id been hounded all night by the undead, maybe I had.

Loads of other ONS stories but this one still gives me the pure fear just thinking about it.

 

[Jam The Man]

I met a girl about a flat share in 2001 - this was on a thursday. On friday night she texted me to say she fancied me & was feeling horny... I unfort had been drinking so couldn't drive 20 miles.. On the sat morn at 0615 she texted me again & demanded a shag... I obviously obliged & dashed over to do the trousering.. later that night, England thrashed Germany 5-1 ! One of the greatest days of my life!!! - though the shag was crap (there IS such a thing as a crap shag)... and I never saw her again! Mainly cos i knew her dad!

 

[Dropkick Turnip]

Bit of a sorry tale this one. But in the interests of keeping a thread alive it can be told.

About seven years ago I was nine months into a second "young, free and single" phase (I was 27) and it was either my birthday or very close to it. Either way, I was out celebrating and I'd secured some chemical assistance so a) I was horny and b) I was desperate. A beast of a woman (I'm no oil painting but I can do better) was sending out the right signals in pub. We got talking and one thing started leading to another. A friend of mine was throwing a party in my honour later that night so we stumbled back to his house. For most of the party I was in the spare bedroom with her until she uttered the immortal words, "Your leather jacket is turning me on. Are you going to take me back to your place and f*ck me?"

So I did. And a day or two later I realised she'd left me the kind of present that required a trip to the doctors

 

[Brightonfan1983]

Do one-nighters ever turn into serious romances...? I haven't had the pleasure.

 

[Dropkick Turnip]

I did have one. I met her on holiday in France when I was 17. Saw her on and off for about two years but it was a waste of time really.

 

[Soton Seagull]

They do for my flatmate. I was had by the bunny boiler beasty bird (p*sed out of my skull and thought why not?! I would add that she plied me with drinks all night after meeting her, and I genuinely tried to escape early on). She then wanted to see me again. I reluctantly agreed to go for a drink with her, and during the course of this, ever so politely explained that I was not interested.

Saw her a couple of weeks later in a pub, she was all over my flatmate, whilst staring at me as if to say 'look at what I'm doing, this could be you' (Arrrrggghhhh!) She took him to her place and they have been going out ever since. She is all sweetness and light when he is about, and then starts abusing me (verbally before anyone starts!) when he wanders off. She is barking mad, and he is loved up.

Never again. The second and last 1 night stand of my life. Come to think of it he 1st one was quite a story as well, but that can wait a while, I will give others a chance!

 

[The Laughing Bluebird]

Do one-nighters ever turn into serious romances...?

I had a one-night stand that turned into a semi-serious romance. And it would've become very serious indeed if her husband had ever found out......

 

[dwayne]

I had a one-night stand that turned into a semi-serious romance. And it would've become very serious indeed if her husband had ever found out......

I suspect your sister may have told her husband by now.

My funniest 1 nite stand was on the pavement outside of illusions nightclub in worthing with a right old slag. It was comedy, I was drunk, she was paraletic (spelling) and we had only met minutes before hand. I couldn't get it in for about 5 minutes, and it was over in about 2 minutes (after a beeping car or 2 had gone past) I remeber walking her back into the club and the bouncers were patting me on the back (obviously had seen it on the CCTV), then I just left her. I saw her again at the end of the night and gave her a firm gentlemanly handshake.

Happy Worthing days

 

[Gary Nelson]

Dannyculliplookalike told me last year at the Watford game that he can manage it in 30 seconds with a bird.



Worringly he was deadly serios. I clearly dont give a f*** about telling you all this as he is too busy at Sky Sports

 

[Wez]

I went out with a girl that was a one nighter. met her on the internet. I lived in west chiltington at the time and she was in haywards heath any way we got chatting so we arranged to meet. I picked her up and i said"would take out for a drink but im skint at the moment"(didnt even have to buy her a drink class!).

Anyway i said "why dont come back to mine and we can watch a film." She agreed, within 20 minutes of returning home id stuck on a porno and was happilly getting my end away.

We finished a while later and i rolled off and layed on my back, and then she says " so are we going out with each other now?"......... normally a coment like that would of put the fear of god in me. but at that time i was having an incredibly dry spell in the oats department so i agreed.

She was completley mental, but a great shag! only lasted 3 months.

And when we split she kept asking me to do her and her mate at the time(kicking myself now). Because of the nature of the reason of the split i declined(still havent worked out while i didnt go for it).

 

[Alannumber4]

I had a one-night stand that turned into a semi-serious romance. And it would've become very serious indeed if her husband had ever found out......

i was told mr sheep is looking for you

 

[BrightonBird]

One night stands are a waste of time, rubbish and for those who are desperate. The women are slags and serves you right if you all had to go to GUM clinics.

 

[berkshire seagull]

Well if you want to be single for a bit then how else you goner get a shag mmmm.

Nothing wrong with one nighters!

 

[The Laughing Bluebird]

One night stands are a waste of time, rubbish and for those who are desperate. The women are slags.

No generalizations there!

You state that one night stands are 'rubbish', 'a waste of time' and 'for those who are desperate'. I wonder, are you speaking from personal experience? If you are not, then how do you know?

 

[berkshire seagull]

No bluebird its because its a bird saying that as us sex's are on diffrent planets.
She will have a few 1 nighters don't you worry about that!


3 cheers for 1 nighters

 

[Sam]

 

[berkshire seagull]

You can't beat the unkown as you no that when shagging the bird you have seen it all before and with 1 nighters you get something diffrent which is superbbbbbbbb.

 

[Wilts]

Had a conversation with the lads in a bar in Nottingham about a particular bird that we knew and how minging she was. Some said they'd sleep with her for £100, some £1000. I plucked for £500 and the conversation ended.

Later that night I went to club and got at the sauce for a while. And then the next memory I have is waking up next to the said bird in her house in the morning, having sadly done the deed for free