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Just woken up and tried putting on my trousers only to realise that they're horribly stained and not mine. Now I can hear noises from downstairs. I can't get to the phone, what should I do?

Went back to his and we were getting down to it all the clothes came off and he spotted my palace tattoo that I had done after the play-off semi final win. He laughed and exclaimed he was a brighton fan. I made him put on a wurzel mask before we could go any further. Just wondering how many...

Agreed.