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Damn. That's the last time I buy Christmas crackers from Poundland.

This. The thread should have ended there.

I'm sure we could winkle out a 'carrying passengers' reference for Zamora if we tried hard enough.

Some say that his last hit was the side of a mountain, but that's a tad cruel.

His pub's much better. Especially if you're an away supporter looking for a good night on the town after the match.

The local residents are trying to buy it aren't they? Presumably they know who from? I don't though, sorry.

Mine's been working fine all day, the missus's daughter (who is in the same house as me) hasn't worked all day, but it just started working for her about 15 mins ago. Several voice mails and txts suddenly all arrived.

Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank.

Don't reply. She'll be on a tea break from the iPhone call centre, and next thing you know we'll all be being offered no strings attached dirty sex.

I dunno, Roger French is always cancelling buses due to staff shortages so maybe they're all working there.

Its between Ella and James Arthur.

Absolutely this. They need to have a novelty act in every year and Rylan's it. The producers probably ordered him to take it to deadlock. It wouldn't surprise me if Rylan WAS actually last in the vote, the makers of the show need their novelty act to stay in for a few weeks or the ratings might...

How do you know when there's a drummer at your front door? The knock speeds up.

At 2-1 to the girl, Louis saved the girl, and when pressed to confirm this, suddenly decided to send her home and it went to deadlock. For some inexplicable reason, the awful bloke who cries all the time (and who appears to have been punched in the top lip since last week's show), who she was up...

And Friday Night Dinner was superb as well. "It's bloody boiling in here!"

How many oscars did it win?

Howard Webb would wave that away. I do like the way he clearly squeezes a blood capsule in his hand after the first shot. CGI? B*ll*cks to that eh?

Yes, it was rumoured to have been written by Victor Lewis-Smith, although no one (including Victor) has ever admitted it.

Its an old one, but worth enjoying again given the topicality.

Dr Brightons. Oh, hang on, I thought you were an away supporter for a second.