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They'll be too busy sitting around drinking tea to worry about me then.

I'm off to Hove tip tomorrow with the bin (its full of cat litter/sh*t so it pongs bad), I'll let you know if I achieve 'scab' status from the local employees.

WooWoos is the only club in Britain which is also a description of the people that go there. FACT.

My recommendation would be to triple bag it and leave it in the house until the binmen return to work.

Erm... he tends to pundit on the Uruguay games.

"So then, darling, this bloke has the affront to try and allege that I spilled his pint, and that I was looking at his girlfriend, and then he tries to grab me" "He tried to grab you?" "Yes, around the neck." "Around the neck?" "Yes. Like this." "Did you hear something darling? Sounded...

And if anyone spots any of them doing any gardening or DIY we could get a load of builders/gardeners to stand outside their house and call them scabs.

FECK. I'd forgotten all about Letraset!! I spent literally minutes of my childhood having fun with Letraset.

Considering it took them 5 weeks and 5 days to empty my bin after 2 days out the last time, I tend to agree.

Barber: Thank God we sorted out Poyet in the end eh? Bloom: Yes, I was beginning to think that would never end. Barber: I guess the new manager needs to start preparing for next season, eh? Bloom: There's another season to play? Manager? Sh*t!!!!! Why didn't someone remind me about this??? We...

Has his hearing been adjourned? I had no idea....

Didn't he say on the Gogglebox that he wanted the matter sorted as soon as possible? Errrm... maybe you should have shown some commitment to that statement by actually turning up then? Or did you sleep in?

Whan Blackburn won the Prem (playing Liverpool on the last day), they needed Man Utd NOT to win at West Ham, you can clearly see a Liverpool supporter jump from the stand and run to the dugout to tell Dalglish that the Man Utd game has ended in a draw. Cue cheers and applause from Liverpool fans...

And that bird from Baywatch getting her bits out.

I've made up the spare room too, but that's for the missus.

Or... they've sent out for Steak and Ale pies to be told they've only just been put in and can they come back later (when they'll be given chicken and ham ones by mistake anyway).

Excellent. Agree with all of it.

I do have to say that I've been to a few Al Murray gigs and was surprised to see large numbers of Daily Mail types laughing with him rather than at him. At the last one I went to (at the Dome) there was a row of about 15 of them behind me who kept punctuating their laughter with comments of...

Cecil Parkinson, is that you?

Buy shares in manufacturers of street bunting - it's what she would've wanted.