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That's like being given the choice between standing on an upturned electric plug or stubbing a toe on a bed post (albeit being paid handsomely to do either, while being cheered on by a blood sucking agent)

Apparently he used a special set of apparatus to reach the upper shelves. He hadn't strapped his Stilton properly.

Well yes, the damage has already been done. Get the feeling Pujara could get a double ton and we'd still struggle to get close

Having looked completely devoid of any ideas or threat for 35 overs, Sussex have done well to fight back in the last half hour or so 329-2 (35.6 overs) Lees 329-3 (36.1 overs) Bedingham 338-4 (37.5 overs) Pretorius 347-5 (39.4 overs) McKinney 347-6 (39.5 overs) Trevaskis 348-7 (40.2...

Jordan Henderson has buggered off at just the right time, then

He played in the 2s for Surrey after impressing in the Kent league for Sevenoaks?

Hove, Horsham, Arundel, Tunbridge Wells, Toilet Bowl, Oval, Guildford, Lords, Taunton, Bristol, Worcester, Edgbaston, Northants, Chester-le-Street, Chelmsford, Cardiff, Trent Bridge Basin Reserve, Cake Tin, Eden Park, Hamilton, Napier, Tauranga, Hagley, Dunedin, Pukekura Park, Queenstown...

Another poor review from Khawaja - shades of prime Shane Watson

Just watched the highlights. First thought seeing the opener was "Oh shit, we've found another one"

Pitch inspection at 11:00 if no further rain

Bulgarian weather stole our bendy bananas and killed Diana 😲😲😲

Not with the heaving masses expected to show up for The Hundred which starts (rather too) soon

Given the names and money involved, I wonder how long it'll be before UEFA magnanimously decide to give Saudi clubs an automatic Champions League spot

Same as it can always end. By declaring 'denazification' complete, repatriating all displaced persons and pulling his troops out of all occupied territory

It looks as though flagship's posts have been removed from this thread, which is probably for the best considering this gem from the Tories In Meltdown thread

While I don't disagree, its interesting how different sports are held to different standards - in the world of football the equivalent behaviour (screaming invective at officials, beating the ground in frustration, managers luzzing/kicking water bottles or running maniacally down the touchline*...

A couple of RSJs, some sheet metal and a healthy dose of good old Russian smekalka will have that right in a flash