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I wonder what he was thinking when Ingolstadt were relegated from the Bundesliga at the end of the 2016/17 season? I bet it wasn't "You never know - maybe I'll be picked up by an English PL team for the next 8 years"

I had a colonoscopy booked for the morning after an evening game at the Amex. I took the first dose of laxatives in the early afternoon to let them err... pass through before the game and took the second dose when I got back home. Ended up going to bed in the early hours of the morning of the...

Say something along the lines of having more class when choosing a bride to choosing a football club.

OK thanks, I'll check those out.

Match postponed?

For those travelling to Chelsea by train on Saturday, which route are you going on as it doesn't seem we can go via Clapham Jct?? Cheers

I think you can trace the origin of all these VAR farces back to the failed European super league. The FA has told the 'Big Six' that if they stay in the PL they will be guaranteed European football every season. When a plucky little upstart like B&HA/ Brentford/ Fulham threaten to break into...

Are Spurs the new Burnley? Poor team, poor tactics, rely on thuggery and spawny results?

We are currently averaging 1.7 points per game, that would give us a final tally of 65. Last season that would comfortably have left us in 6th. Even if Liverpool finish above us as well, we would still be in 7th and in Europe next season.

I think (hope) Kane will behave himself tomorrow after his snapped eyelash incident the other day.

Pedantry

Being a shrewd businessman, I expect TB is selling Boehly a list of prime Chelsea-managers-to-be.

This, who do we boo? I really couldn't boo Bruno even though he jumped ship so quickly.

Shearer - "Oliver got both penalty decisions right". No he didn't, VAR corrected him for the first.

Yes, let's hope he hangs on for a bit longer!

There is a charity called the National Gardens Scheme ('The Yellow Book'). Where people all over the country open their gardens for charity one or two days a year. They must have a way round liability insurance. Perhaps your organisers can contact them for advice?

Is that the reason they keep blowing up? :tears2:

I'm angry because we can't light our homes with gas any more, apparently it causes polar bears to fart too much or something. Instead we have to pay about £10 for a low energy lightbulb that lasts for about 2 minutes before it blows and we have to buy another one.

Will that be different from when England play Ukraine?

I think they were found in the shed-end with some hoes.