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Let’s go the whole hog then - why not have the London Philharmonic Orchestra in situ. That’ll be a lot less wank than a f***ing drum. Also, it might ensure that all the songs are played at the right speed, and in tune. :drink:

Probably better than getting crabs.

Exile on Maine Street - Rolling Stones Yes, I know. I’m just pulling a fast one here with the ‘e’ numbers. :wink:

I heard they’re selling Old Trafford to developers and ground sharing with Portsmouth at Fratton Park . . . . oh, wait a minute . . .

Here’s a juicy one - Delaware by Perry Como. Can’t find a link to the song, perhaps someone can oblige? Anyway the lyrics are a corruption of state names to fit the song, as in ‘What did Dela-ware boys’ and so on. So you have the following included - California, New Jersey, Mississippi...

Oh yes there was - but it didn’t involve the customers! :lolol:

Back in the 1970s I worked in a wine merchants shop (off licence to you!). On Christmas Eve we closed at 6.00pm so we could all have a few festive slurps backstage, so to speak. At 6.05 pm, sure enough, there was the knocking at the shop door. Some dozy bloke asked if he could buy some Christmas...

As my daughter irreverently calls me - ‘Tena Man’, the cheeky minx! :blush:

Yes, I have noticed that but I really can’t be arsed to go through song lyrics to find out if the name of a state is mentioned. Really! You leave simple instructions and it all turns into a tub of shit. :wink:

A little exercise here for you to have a go at. Come up with any songs that have the name of a U.S. state in the title or in the lyrics. The proviso being that you name the song and the artist(s) who performed it, and the line naming the state. A couple of examples to go on with : California...

You know you can be so cruel sometimes. Oh, f*** it! Living down here on the Solent part of the south coast for the last forty odd years I’ve had it rammed down my throat how wonderful Saints and Pompey are. L’il ol Brighton and Bournemouth just League One/Two minnows who’ll never achieve...

MAKE - SOME - NOISE !!

Can you imagine one of the Amex staff at the kiosks doing that on match day? Top entertainment - would you like your biff with some claret, and maybe your nuts chopped en croute as a side order?

I believe he’s called Roland Squash.

That’s the beauty of the Swiss Army knife - multi-purpose for every eventuality. The corkscrew attachment to be used later.

It’s a new stand so I think that problem is redundant - unless of course they’ve cocked up the design.

The only Good Morning Britain that I ever see is when I wake up, get out of bed, pull back the curtains, look out of the window and say “F*** off”. So there.

“I used to be one of Gully’s Girls.”

And of course you’re privy to this information? :wink: