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Please don’t. Think about it. Thousands of times a day, one has a thought or hears or reads or sees a cultural reference without there being any coincidental mention on TV. The law of averages says this is expected and predictable. However the same law of averages says that just now and then...

'Quite high' is the disappointing answer.

I think the proper gag is: - Brighton have just signed a player from Celtic! - Oh really? - No, O’Riley.

Eh? Not sure if this is a wind-up but he's an excellent player and will definitely be in the team once he's settled in.

Similar to "Mistakes were made, lessons will be learnt." rather than "I made a massive cock-up but I'm not resigning." Sorry, going OT.

Is that just seasonal unemployment? There must be plenty of agricultural work going in Almeria I’d have thought. Almeria itself always strikes me as quite a well-to-do town with its stately La Rambla. No disrespect but perhaps you live in a grottier bit of the town.

That may be ‘statistically’ true, but it’s presumably because the police actually do their job at major sporting events, unlike at the carnival where they have to use a hands-off approach to anything but serious crime.

It’s ok, I’m sure that ‘Two-Tier Keir’ will shortly be announcing that anyone found guilty of public disorder offences at the carnival will feel the full force of the law and can look forward to lengthy jail sentences. OTOH, possibly not.

I’m too old for all these baffling banners.

Agreed. The fact that we were the only PL club to show a trading profit last year is another illustration that the progress we’ve made on the pitch isn’t down to being bankrolled by a wealthy backer. We’ve bought low, developed, then sold high and reinvested. That’s the key to our playing success.

My brother lives in Ladbroke Grove. For several years now, he and his wife go away for the carnival weekend, and stay in a B & B somewhere near London. He says it’s literally an unbearable experience. The noise, the fighting, the crime, the drugs. Sounds like a nightmare to me.

All depends when you arrive in the queue, I guess. I got in about 35 mins before KO and the queue was so long it was almost impossible to get past it to walk along the concourse. To make it worse for anyone trying to get through, there were also the queues for the beer bars so you were...

Superb accenting.

MEMO TO CLUB (IF YOU'RE LISTENING) SORT OUT THE FREAKIN' CATERING! YOU ARE LOSING TONS OF MONEY AND PISSING OFF THE HUNGRY FANS!

No worries, cheers mate.

Vot is zis vaiting list of which you speak? Eh?

Am I? Sorry Ted, you’ve lost me.

Well done Han Solo. I used to despise you but now I think you’re a lovely fella. Keep going despite the sniping.

Who is ‘ Luke’ and what is his role in these negotiations?

I like Adingra, and want him to stay, but for a £55m+ donation to the kitty I could be persuaded to say goodbye.