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I'd recommend listening to Peter Drury's pre-rehearsed kick-off monologues if you think FiveLive is too much!

Yes, think Ollie's had his day for England. I heard that the set up were unhappy about some of the "stories" he told on his podcast about what it's like playing for England. I know that he had to take at least one episode down (for at least some heaving editing) because of his tone-deaf...

Agree. Think the reality we've seen at the club over the last 4/5 years is that the club are probably open to sell one or two players who are ready for that step up to the next level. Currently, for me, that's Joao Pedro and Bart Verbruggen. Rutter/Gruda and Rushworth will step into the gap...

The Premier League is an endlessly over-dramatic melodrama. Every team is suffering, every goal is epic, every celebration euphoric, and I, for one, LOVE IT.

You may be right about Pervis tbf on 12th watching. Palmer may have timed his run perfectly but it would've gone to VAR and if you're playing an offside trap (as we did incredibly well on Saturday) you can't have a full back decide to not play it. Throw Pervis on the pile of blame as well! So...

No, I saw Pervis drop and think that he's seen Palmer make the run in between and anticipated the danger rather than destroying an offside trap that would've worked. I don't think it would've been offside for Palmer there as he runs from pretty deep but who knows. It's a good point and I thought...

Finally brought myself to watch Match of the Day and whilst the first three goals are disappointing, I'm quite happy to forgive them for what were some pretty stupid errors (though the placing of the free kick is appallingly amateurish officiating that probably changes the result). We all make...

I found it to be an absolutely deserving winner of the Booker last year. Harrowing, intelligent, urgent, and somehow it never veers into the hysterical pretentiousness that its overdramatic narrative implies. Always a story about a family and the woman trying to keep it together whilst the world...

Lived out in New Zealand and travelled around East Asia for a bit after that before heading home. Wonderful drinking culture in most places but the ability to sit down and just have a drink in a nice setting was difficult almost everywhere compared the UK. The places would either close at...

I missed very few things Albion aside when I lived abroad. The ability to have a pint in a pub is one of the few things that really should never change and one of the few things that I thought the rest of the world could learn from the UK.

I should be tucking into the new Sally Rooney, Intermezzo but Rough Trade haven’t even dispatched it yet… (I know don’t pre-order books from a record store but they were the last place to have signed limited edition copies available).

Is anyone actually saying that this was violent conduct? Give ya head a wobble. Probably should've been a yellow for "Unsporting Behaviour [12.3]" but was never ever a red.

He clearly decided to give a quick decision to stamp his authority on the situation and got it wrong. He shouldn’t have done that and it summed up his day. His team (which includes Taylor and the Assistant Referee) clearly advised him that it was in fact a foul and deserving of a yellow card and...

f*** sake, we may go into October unbeaten if we play well at Chelsea. I don’t want to be all “we’re little old Brighton” but have some perspective man.

Arsenal fans after Declan Rice gets a second yellow card for delaying the restart: “all we want is consistency”. Arsenal fans when Leandro Trossard gets a second yellow card for delaying the restart: “not that kind of consistency.”

Has Dan Burn ever had a good game against Adama Traore?

Oooh magsafe is a game changer! Sounds like you've got all bases covered with the screen and back so better safe than sorry! Would highly recommend treating yourself to an Anker Mag Go portable charger (maybe wait for Prime Day next month for a deal). Cannot imagine going back to wired charging...

Newer phones screens are bloody great these days. If you're nervous, a slightly raised edge case should suffice in case you drop it directly facing downwards.

Bayern and Liverpool were willing to commit a non-Chelsea British record transfer fee at the same time.

Caicedo is the only right answer. He will stay the British record transfer fee for many many years and ultimately, he's going to get better and better on the pitch. It's fun to laugh at the shitshow that Chelsea are currently, but they're not going to continue to be so forever I'm afraid, and...