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It's a big if, but IF these charges are proven then its incredibly damaging to the integrity of the game. And yes, it absolutely should be a life ban. Or a perma-transfer to the WWE..

Blimey, what a rogues gallery of a list. Includes John Terry, Wayne Rooney AND Frank Lampard (shudder). I'd like Erik ten Hag personally, or failing that Erik Ten Haag (both of them are 50-1 bizarrely).

All the prospective managers being discussed seem to like fannying about in different parts of the pitch, so its only fair to include one that likes fannying about on the wings I suppose.

And with the clubs new head of security Luca Brasi standing right behind him.

Has something happened?

Maybe we should include this question in the interviews. I would suggest a limit of 2.5 sexes a week tops. If any candidates mention reverse cowboys or doggies they should be shown the door.

I believe his release was around the 12m mark??, so about Dan Burn type money. No-one wants an unhappy manager slumped on his seat sucking lemons for a few months while we wait for one of the big boys to stump up the cash and whisk him away. I think a mutual parting suits everyone.

Doesn't the flag have to be fire retardant though. It might need to be a ceremonial singeing instead.

And that mouth permanently open. What's that about?

Mmm. Remember the eyes are a window to the soul. Look beyond the forced grin. The eyes are dead. Glasners facing up to the fact that he's just taken the equivalent of a full time job cleaning the bogs at McDonalds. And now Bayern want him. How's your luck?

The rumour mill ( I know!) is spewing out a few hints that Kudus is angling for a big move already, cookerella style. We might not have to wait long to see EXACTLY what his release clause is/was.

I believe dandeadly is only activated by massive solar storms, hence the current blaze of activity.

I remember this amusing tale from a couple of years ago. https://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/mannequin-dummy-neighbours-row-london-b985650.html

It may look something like this;

With the Premier league seemingly littered with our ex players it has crossed my mind whether we might get a few back in the future. But, as most have gone on to play for the big boys, it has let the wages cat out of the bag and that cat ain't going back in. So I suppose we are left with signing...

I believe you're mixing up spaz and joey? Joey deffo came about from Blue Peter/Joey Deacon. Joey and flid were the main insults knocking about when I was in lower school in the early 80s. Eek!

Amazon Prime had a "stadium fx" audio option. It's a shame other channels haven't followed suit.

The hole in the socks fad will prove to be just that I suspect. A bit like those nasal strip thingies a few years back or vaporub on the shirts.

"Villans Eurotrashed" would have been a good headline for today's papers. Just thought of it. Am I too late?