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I was pretty sure Labour had lost at 7.30 that morning. I was on my way to work, after voting, and overheard two London Underground cleaners talking about how they were going to vote Conservative as they didn't want to pay even more tax. As some of the lowest paid workers, they'd have been...

Double Danish - sounds like one of El Pres's DVDs

Yeah, after eating apple crumbles

Although Labour started the campaign as odds-on favourites, as the opinion polls narrowed so did the odds and the favourite outcome at 10/11 was a hung parliament (albeit one with Labour as the biggest party). Major's win was a surprise but not a jaw-dropping one. Labour in 1992 were never 20-1...

This is true - Starmer is not the greatest speaker (but neither is Sunak). However, there have been several Labour leaders who have been good speakers - Kinnock was one and Foot was a brilliant speaker, he'd empty the Commons bars when he spoke in debates. That didn't get Labour far either.

The Telegraph keeps coming out with this nonsense. Starmer is a barrister, an absolutely top-drawer barrister. What he does is marshall arguments and use it against opponents - be they other lawyers or politicians. He tied Johnson up in knots - his understated "I'll just leave it there" was the...

Before Crazy Harry there was Butch Hutchins, the headteacher before Molly. He terrified my dad and hosts of other OVs. Varndean seemed to attract a particularly fine set of psychos.

Harry Allt was an absolute pyscho - he'd undoubtedly be in chokey if he were teaching in the modern age. And you're right, it wasn't just Harry, although he was by far the worst, there were some borderline nutcases around. Thankfully, today's kids are spared that element at least

Jeez, I'd rather have Gareth Malone - at least he'd get the team singing from the same hymnsheet

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Are you sure about that? I ran for Varndean at a couple of sports days and I think Steve Ovett had moved on to higher things by then. However, we had a super sprinter called Paul Perry, he wasn't Ovett class, but he was pretty rapid and tore up the 100m. A few Fawcett boys paid him a visit and...

I see he was at school with Tony Towner but doesn't say whether it was primary and secondary. I was at TT's primary school, I wonder if Derek was there

That was a great game. The Fox and Hounds was like Bazball Plus

I can't see any government proposing the return of the death penalty. It was abolished by a Private Member's Bill and there have been subsequent attempts to reintroduce it, again by Private Member's Bill. It will never be a manifesto commitment as it can't be whipped.

[A pedant writes]Namby Pamby was the nickname of a poet called Ambrose Philips (referred to in this verse). It was only later that it came to mean weak. Re National Service. I know that my father hated it and father-in-law doesn't speak too fondly of it. You'd have to be at least 82 to have...

I remember a few years back we played Middlesex on cup final day (I think it was 2006). We were playing at Horsham and Mushy wrapped up the Middlesex innings on the stroke of lunch, leading to a stonking Sussex win. Maybe it's a good omen

It's not unknown. When I was at uni, one of the leading lights in the uni's FCS was also involved with the hunt sabs

I don't get that argument: the A27 pretty much follows the rail route. There are plenty of roads with no alternative public transport, but the A27 isn't one of them. At a time when more people are working from home and fewer people are commuting, I imagine that upgrading the road is going to be...

People rave about DSOTM but I thought it was a load of old pony. I did have one revelation about it. Many, many years ago I was visiting a mate at Keele where there was sod all to do apart from indulging in exotic wares from the local dealer. My mate warned it was strong stuff and he wasn't...