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You kids are all mouth and no trousers. Back in the day when there were only three TV channels all we had on a Saturday night was a choice between Blankety Blank, The Generation Game, Celebrity Shit in a Bucket and Game for a Laugh, it’s no wonder we turned to a bit of bifters before, during and...

Who you calling a poof? Big Vern will not take kindly to that sonny.

Sticks and stones sonny. We're like the SAS, just get on with the job and you don't know we've even had a rumble protecting the name of the club half the time. But ask yourself this, when was the last time you had to run at an away match, eh............eh? We're the invisible hand, the Guardian...

Names I use on here are coded, nuff said? We're wanted by too many authorities, especially the CSA, to give personal details. We don't want medals, but we're looking after you when you don't know it half the time at away games, other firms have respect and let you woolly hat brigade pass in...

Oi, Big Vern used to drive the 1A bus to Whitehawk in the days before cages, and I have three ex-wives, don't give it large about being a man. Some of us have driven an Austin Princess through Bermondsey in the 70's on a match day and still have the scars to prove it after lobbing some CS into a...

Fackin' newbie. Clearly you are still a bit wet behind the ears, but those in the know, know that it stands for Hove Actually Caveman Crew. Those not in the know, know nothing.

Don't get lippy son, we can still deliver. Might not be as fast as in the '80's, but HACC never ran anyway. Two words for those of you who think you have to be young to have a rumble, two words, JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME , he's 50, nuff said?

Listen sonny, next time you and your fellow trainspotters are outnumbered by a crew from Cardiff or 'Wall, you'll be glad that the likes of Uncle Morty, Big Vern, Scratchcard, Pete Longpockets and myself are around to get you out of a scrape. We've got the weapons, we've got the scars, we've got...

Some of the lads are coming out of retirement just in case you young pups need a bit of direction. We've forgotten more than most of you know, but once you've got the taste for some toe to toe, dodging the OB, keeping it ITK, and STILL using the gentleman's code (don't hit any scarfers, women or...

Agreed, if you look at the Sunday Times Rich List of Sport yesterday there is no way Owen would join the Albion for money, if he is that keen to play he could go somewhere far more local. When he was at Newcastle he commuted, it would be difficult to do that to Brighton from Cheshire.

He's just a quiet bloke, doesn't make him a wanker. As for Brentford, some of our fans acted like Grade A Cockjugglers at that game.

To be fair, some of us have seen him play.................

*cough* Dwayne'ss black sister?

That's if he gets off the treatment table

The Hangleton Educashun Committee will be reconvening if these rumours have any truth in them.

Oi, we're just defending our country against raging wotsits, some of the TOP EDL boys have gone dahn for it today, God Bless the Queen Mum (and as for that Kate, PHWOARR) http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-13140452

Casuals United have a march for England starting at the station at midday. No sandals, no funny accents, no poofters, advertised as a great family day out. Time to bring out the Tacchini lilac. lime and ivory tracks uit from 1984 I nicked whilst 'shopping' with the Chelsea headhunters in...

Have had a few texts from Scratchcard, Peacehaven Pete, Uncle Morty, Armadillo and Big Vern. The Brighton Education Committee have reformed, that is all.

Does my f***ing head in these people who deliberately get divorced just to get a council flat. I know one bloke who was still shagging his wife, but wanted a place in London to live in during the week, so divorced the wife and popped back at weekends to stay with her.

Some of us old lags (Uncle Monty, Scratchcard Steve, Teflon Pete, The Prowler and Big Vern) have come out of retirement as a special request to show the pups some of the ITK rules of engagement. It don't necessarily mean that HACC are reforming, but it don't mean that we're not reforming...