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I've had her. Was me and the HACC in the team Austin Allegro returning from Walsall about 35 years. She had broke down in her motor due to a flat tyre. Size 5 changed the tyre for her, Uncle Morty used the jack from the Allegro, Scratchcard just stood around looking dumb so I used a bit of the...

Some serious tear up potential though DR, some of the boys will be coming out of retirement if we have a chance to plant a flag at the manor of Arsenal, Spurs, Chelsea and some of the Northern Monkeys. Word is that even United have gone soft, Ajax took liberties when they played them at Old...

Fair enough, Dutch were taking liberties, thought that Rembrandt was a better painter than Turner, and that Anne Frank made a more significant contribution to the history of WW2 than Dame Vera Lynn (still would!) so a few top boys had to have a word in their ear with a slap or two. According...

You've gone soft pal, that lot need waterboarding. Teach them a lesson and nearest most will have had to a bath for ages too.

Can't say TT, walls have ears, as well as sausages, nuff said?

Listen you slaaaaaaaaaaaaaaags. 'Wall were hurting a bit, there had been an official meet before KO, but only those ITK knew about it. Word was aht that Arnold the Armadillo had a bit of previous dahn here and wanted to settle a score. There were a few private tweets, posts made on certain...

God Bless the Queen Mum

Listen you slaaaaag, just remember what happens to grass, it gets eaten by cows. You say ANYTHING to the OB, and you'll be errrrrrrr.......a DAIRYLEA TRIANGLE whilst those ITK will be organising the next rumble against Palace. I have it on pwopa authority that it will be the BIGGEST rumble since...

Listen all you slaaaaaaaaaaags. A few kids being escorted by the OB is nothing. The REAL action was taking place on the Palace Pier, the word had gone out to Palace's top boys, led by Nigel Nigelson (but those ITK call him Nige) and he put together a (respect) team of geezers who are not just...

Listen you slags. Some of us have long memories, have taken it on the chin for the Albion in days gone by, and now, it's time to settle some scores. Big Vern, Uncle Morty, Scratchcard, and Dave the Weasel all have scars, physical and mental, from past encounters with Palace. We've come out of...

Scratchcard, Uncle Morty, Big Vern and Pete Longpockets are going to get into some serious substance abuse before the match and be totally psyched up for warfare at this match. We're planning to mix Sherbert Fountains with pure Haribo Gummy Bears, get into the Austin Allegro, and take on...

'Ere sonny, any chance you could sort me out a pair of Brutus Gold, some adidas Samba and a set of mats for an Austin Allegro 1.3GL?

Listen pussies, you turn up to the Amex with your scarves, thermos flasks and replica shirts, enjoy the community tiddlywinks and Gully's Girls before the match. The reason why you can walk to the ground in safety is due to the respect given to HPAC from rival firms, who know that our turf and...

Look mate, we're not thugs, we'll only drag him out of the car and give him a pasting if his eyes are too close together. You can always tell with nonces, all that wanking over kiddie porn gives them a squint, and me and the lads aren't having it. If there's a bit of collateral damage, so be...

Me and the rest of HPAC are tooling up tonight, and we're going to put in the windscreens of all black Fords we find, and give any male occupants a greeting from Mr Baseball Bat. Before you liberal politically correct hand wringing do gooders start complaining, we do it because WE CARE ABOUT...

Just a few top boys doing some training before the season starts. What do you scarfers and mummy's boys expect? You don't run a marathon without doing some training do you? There's always a bit of needle in the North East, the women are so ugly you end up having a tear up as the prospect of...

I have heard that people are now pitching tents outside the club shop, and that a band is entertaining them. Never mind Glastonbury, Binfestival 2011 is the place to be.

NSC may run, but HPACC run from no one, remember that you slags. God Bless The Queen Mum

Anyone ITK will know that no one knows what happened unless they were there and ITK.

1. Trying me with a trick question sonny? Those in the know know that it was 3.5 times. Leeds, Middlesboro, Burnley had them on full runs, but afteer Fila introduced a limited edition trainer that only was sold in left shoes, the Blackburn Gravy Gang all bought them, and wore them at home...