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If this happens I'll eat my cat. (I don't own a hat)

Budapest. Amazing people, wonderful beers, great food and plenty to see. The architecture is stunning (fisherman's bastion is beautiful), a few museums and we did a tour of a nuclear bunker which was good fun. One of my favourite places. Plenty to see in Rome and Prague too. Athens is nice but...

Overall for the season very much a middle of the road 5. Some very good highs but all made a bit meh with the run of results over the second part of the season. Yesterday was awful though, not only was the result shit but I had a call at half time to tell me a Tesco driver had driven into my...

TalkTalk have the worst customer service. Been with sky a few years now and not had any issues.

Looked like one of the women thrown out of W1 spat at a bloke on her way out, thought he was going to chin her but his mate stopped him. Chelsea really do have a bunch of knuckle dragging scumbags for fans.

Get rid of var and refs might actually have to do their job. It's potentially a good system but it's being used by absolute morons who have their mates back if it goes tits up.

The theatre of streams.

I bought tickets at the beginning of April to see Greg Davies on April 19th. Got really excited, asked the Mrs if she was looking forward to seeing him in a couple of weeks, it was met with a raised eyebrow and "it's next year you twat."

I'm hoping for another toxic atmosphere to spur on our players, but Chelsea are playing well at the moment so I can't see anything but a Chelsea win.

The Toronto Monthly's.

Get facundo off the pitch.

Very good game up until the equaliser. End to end stuff, very entertaining. Lamptey has been wank since he came on and nobody at the back looks confident. Größ and Gilmore playing well, Enciso looks up for it. A draw seems fair so far, hope we don't regret our missed chances though.

Turns out I quite like Solar flares.

Another one bites the crust.

Some classics on here that we still use at work, especially "chinny reckon" as we have some right bullshitters at work. I refer to a girl at work as an "absolute chinstrap", no idea why, it just sounds like it should be an insult and I went with it.

Got no time for selfish wankers who drink and drive. He's lucky nobody was hurt or worse. Prick.

Fork in the right. I also wear my watch on my right wrist (which is apparently left handed) but I'm right-handed. Cutlery draw goes knives, forks, spoons, teaspoons horizontal at the bottom.

I've just read the ridiculous news that they're remaking Naked Gun! If that wasn't bad enough, they've cast Liam Neeson as Frank Drebin and Pamela Anderson as Jane! Why can't Hollywood leave things alone?

4-0. United really are shit.