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Wear an ironed shirt. Use a napkin Drink a can of Dr Pepper See Brighton away Europe (oh, hang on)

Shut everything like they used to in the 70s. I used to like them lazy days with sod all to do except eat a massive roast dinner, watch The Muppet Show and wait for The William Tell to open at 7

I want cheerful stuff, I was thinking Your Covers Blown by Belle and Sebastian or a few tracks from Jamiriquai’s first album. However at the moment (apart from plenty of new stuff) I’m listening to a lot of Basement Jaxx so I’ll have, Take Me Back To Your House, I Want U and Romeo.

It sounds like (emphasis on sounds like) you’re trying to justify this. I drive a bus, if I killed 11 people with it then conveniently forget how it happened, you wouldn’t find me behind the wheel of a 14 in ten years time. But then I’ve never been a pilot.

About five years ago I went to Peacehaven midweek despite starting work at 04:30 the next day. I held out till about 88 minutes but as we were 3 nil down leaving then meant I’d get six hours kip. Yep, it finished 3-3

There's a certain bunch of kids in Peacehaven that we know Cause destuction and chaos everywhere that they go Been labelled 'the wildkids' by the local press Banned from the youth club 'cos of the way they dress Leather jackets, black docs with red laces, all wild kids have got mullard...

Get that board down!

A star has died

The stress of being tier 2 for Ajax and Athens (likewise Newcastle with travel and hotel booked waiting for “that” block to open so the Mrs could get one) gave me sleepless nights so I’m not going back to that if I can help it. Ultimately, I just like being “part of it” so if I’m stuck in the...

I’ll be wearing mine Sunday (lower east) If I can squeeze into it.Thinking about it I’ll probably just end up holding it aloft during Barry Lloyd’s minute.

I think it’s safe to say little can/is being done on the the noise level so it might be an idea to be a bit more visible prior to kick off (Everton managed it quite well) firstly I’d stick those four flag bearers from the pitch behind each exit from the stand to the concourse (they could be...

I’m very much in the “if something on here is of no interest to you keep quiet about it” camp. We’re all different and we like different things and my late mother always said “if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all” anyhoo…. Coldplay are fuckin shit. [I feel so much better now]

They were shit times but we did have a laugh and I made so many matchday mates that I still see now and the sense of camaraderie that continued throughout the troubles of the late 90s and into the ‘We Want Falmer’ years was heartwarming. It’s not possible to reflect on those times without...

I’ll be getting my NOBO out for the Spurs match too.