[Humour] Joke Du Jour

Eeyore said:

So basically all that happened was you put the wrong side on

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Gabbafella said:

I bought a vinyl record yesterday called "Sounds wasps make".
When I got home and played it, I said to myself "This doesn't sound anything like wasps."
Then I realised, I was playing the bee side.

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Gabbafella said:

I bought a vinyl record yesterday called "Sounds wasps make".
When I got home and played it, I said to myself "This doesn't sound anything like wasps."
Then I realised, I was playing the bee side.

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Bodian said:

I'm not sure that you will really have been able to tell the difference unless you have an incredibly high quality hi-fi. The sounds produced by the honeybee Apis mellifera (Apidae) and by the social wasps Paravespula germanica and Vespa orientalis (Hymenoptera, Vespinae) are of a uniform frequency.

However, the sound differs in accordance with its purpose. In honey bees, the sound produced by ventilating workers has a frequency of 309 Hz, whereas that produced by the queen (queen piping) has a frequency of 450 Hz. In P. germanica, the sound frequency during ventilation is 194–231 Hz, whereas in V. orientalis, the ventilation and the awakening dance sounds (produced by the workers) and the hunger signal (sounded by the larvae) have a frequency of 118–140 Hz, while the threatening flight occurs at 221 Hz and the dance of workers facing the queen—at 600–637 Hz. All the produced sounds are synchronized to a uniform frequency over a given period, regardless of whether they are produced by a single insect or by an entire group. However, the frequency may change with time, probably owing to fatigue of the producer, and also the intensity of the sound may change, which results in a great variability of the sounds despite their uniform frequency.

The buzz is generated by the wing beat. Some bees beat their wings around 230 times a second. With wasps - wing beat varies between 117 and 247 beats per second. And furthermore, bee and wasp wing-beat frequencies are significantly different, given distinct temperature and humidity ranges.

So - how can you tell if the B-side were bees, and not a social wasp dancing in front of the queen, or a wasp beating it's wings towards the upper of their range (for instance)?

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South Stand Bonfire said:

And another thing, what other type of record other than a “vinyl” type is there? Why would anyone purchase a non vinyl record unless you drank Brewdog and bought vinyls just to hang them on your wall

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US Seagull said:

Well, there's this:

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Gabbafella said:

I bought a vinyl record yesterday called "Sounds wasps make".
When I got home and played it, I said to myself "This doesn't sound anything like wasps."
Then I realised, I was playing the bee side.

Click to expand...

thedonkeycentrehalf said:

Sure it wasn’t a rival insect band?

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Jack Straw said:

Was it a single or LP? What was the band/singer called? Sounds like I might bee interested in a copy.

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South Stand Bonfire said:

Would have been better off buying a record by McFly.

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schmunk said:

At the height of McFly-mania, my mate bought some dodgy knock-off CDs to sell on eBay.

He got Busted.

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